Author danny6 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 I personally dont consider it cheating, but its not about me. OP if you consider it cheating, and you devout so much emotion into it. Then yes, you are cheating. I never saw it as cheating that's the thing. I just knew to not do it because it wasn't right so I stopped. Then someone said I cheated yesterday and BAM. My ocd and mind makes me suffer like hell
mightycpa Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Why do you think the person who said this is so influential that you'd latch onto the idea? Or does it have nothing to do with who said it, it is the idea itself? Can you expand on this? I'm intrigued.
Author danny6 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 It wasn't the person. It just something in my head clicked off. It just built up. It was a high stress day for me yesterday probably making me prone to obsessions. And this kick started up and bam.
Author danny6 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 If your gf is fine with it, then it's not cheating,,,,, but talking to strippers, bet she wouldn't feel the same about that.......chill danny I was not talking to anyone! I was not trying to in gage conversation. It was an "omg" feeling I was trying to get. Lile "omg this girl saw my message, that's crazy and she is naked. That's all it was for. Not for conversatio at all!
Gloria25 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I'm on the fence here... If it's a one-time mistake, then you're cool... But if you continue to seek out other women, then why do you have a gf? And I don't see it as porn - cuz you don't have any interaction with a porn video. But, when you start chatting with a chick (stripper, ho, or whatever), and you start doing things with her that you should be doing with a gf, then yea, IMO, it is cheating...
Author danny6 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 (edited) I'm on the fence here... If it's a one-time mistake, then you're cool... But if you continue to seek out other women, then why do you have a gf? And I don't see it as porn - cuz you don't have any interaction with a porn video. But, when you start chatting with a chick (stripper, ho, or whatever), and you start doing things with her that you should be doing with a gf, then yea, IMO, it is cheating... It was not 1 on 1. I was not interacting at all here. There were thousands of other viewers. I was not noticed or si glad out in any way. I was not seeking for her either. I just thought of it as another for of porn. Not to seek out and contact at all by any means And yes halfway through I stopped because I realized "heythis isnt right probabky and im on a relationship. Theb BAM done. It wasnt even a one time thibg. I stopped myself short.t Edited September 12, 2014 by danny6
Gloria25 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 It was not 1 on 1. I was not interacting at all here. There were thousands of other viewers. I was not noticed or si glad out in any way. I was not seeking for her either. I just thought of it as another for of porn. Not to seek out and contact at all by any means Ok, you posted here asking for people's advice/opinions and I gave you mine and no, IMO, it is more than porn... Yes, there are tons of viewers - but hookers standing on a corner and/or strippers (who may take you to the champagne room) also have an audience and/or more than one man they are "servicing"....but at the end of the day, you get a "personal" interaction with her... I mean, if it was "just porn" then what would be the allure of having a live web-feed of some chick? So, I gave my opinion, you can take it or leave it...
mightycpa Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I'm on the fence here... If it's a one-time mistake, then you're cool... But if you continue to seek out other women, then why do you have a gf? And I don't see it as porn - cuz you don't have any interaction with a porn video. But, when you start chatting with a chick (stripper, ho, or whatever), and you start doing things with her that you should be doing with a gf, then yea, IMO, it is cheating... No way. He said Hi. He could say hi to any/every woman on the planet, and it wouldn't be cheating. Not only was that his intent, that's what he actually did. So both mind and body, no cheating.
mightycpa Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Ok, you posted here asking for people's advice/opinions and I gave you mine and no, IMO, it is more than porn... Yes, there are tons of viewers - but hookers standing on a corner and/or strippers (who may take you to the champagne room) also have an audience and/or more than one man they are "servicing"....but at the end of the day, you get a "personal" interaction with her... I mean, if it was "just porn" then what would be the allure of having a live web-feed of some chick? So, I gave my opinion, you can take it or leave it... Oh danny boy! Let me dissuade you, explain to you why this is incorrect. So there you are, with like 100 other people on the corner where this prostitute is. She's asking everybody for money, telling them what she'll do in exchange for this amount and that amount. You call into the crowd: "Hello!" This is not cheating. This is what you did. You called out to a crowd of people. Isn't that really how it works on one of those sites? Now, let me ask you the million dollar question: If an idea can be planted into your head, and it will stick, why can't the opposite idea be planted into your head too? Can you recreate the mindset, or the circumstances, or whatever it is that pushes you over the edge?
Author danny6 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 Oh danny boy! Let me dissuade you, explain to you why this is incorrect. So there you are, with like 100 other people on the corner where this prostitute is. She's asking everybody for money, telling them what she'll do in exchange for this amount and that amount. You call into the crowd: "Hello!" This is not cheating. This is what you did. You called out to a crowd of people. Isn't that really how it works on one of those sites? Now, let me ask you the million dollar question: If an idea can be planted into your head, and it will stick, why can't the opposite idea be planted into your head too? Can you recreate the mindset, or the circumstances, or whatever it is that pushes you over the edge? I can't do anythimg! Lol It's not my choice what I can obsess about and what I can't obsess about remember that! They come on their own! And I'm doing much better today. I realized I did not cheat. I did not go online looking for a secure relationship or Se u Al conversation with any girl. I went on to use it as a video like porn and said "hi" only for amusement in getting a reply and it was nothing more than that. It was never aneed intention to have a convo. And I told myself that over and over and somehow it just stuck. I was never looking to be singled out and give private stuff in any way
StanMusial Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 It's not "guilt", it's mental illness. If it was guilt, talking to your gf should've helped. If talking to your gf didn't help, no one on here will either. You're just making it worse going on about it.
Author danny6 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 It's not "guilt", it's mental illness. If it was guilt, talking to your gf should've helped. If talking to your gf didn't help, no one on here will either. You're just making it worse going on about it. I don't like using "mental illness" if you saw me.or knew me in real life you would never know I had ocd. Or that anything was wrong with me. I fit in with everyone else and that's that. I don't have a mental illness. I have a personal challenge. If someone uses mental illness it seems degrading.
DazedandConfused8 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 So your saying this is like going to a strip club??? Basically, yes. You're viewing other women in a sexual fashion, for sexual gratification, usually in exchange for money.
mightycpa Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Basically, yes. You're viewing other women in a sexual fashion, for sexual gratification, usually in exchange for money. This is very imprecise, to the extent that it is basically wrong. Allow me: Going to a strip club allows you to view other women in a sexual fashion, yes, but it leads to frustration rather than gratification, UNLESS you trade money. It is not like he went seek a "lap dance", nor was he tempted to get one once he arrived. At most, he talked to one of the dancers and said "Hello"
mightycpa Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I never said it was wrong. Sorry, this time, I was imprecise. I meant your observation was wrong, your metaphor was not apt, your apples didn't taste like oranges.
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