slizl Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Make a move means having sex to you? Wowza! To me, that just means making out.
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Make a move means having sex to you? Wowza! To me, that just means making out. LOL She jumped his bones!
smackie9 Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I would have ditched this guy weeks ago......boring! 1
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I would have ditched this guy weeks ago......boring! Glad most women ditch this type of guys, more for me! They are fairly rare anyway. Don't know what's your rush peoplz..short attention span? 2
Author moscatto Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 I would have ditched this guy weeks ago......boring! Not at all boring. I've always had a great time no matter what we were doing. 2
preraph Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 He didn't make the first move because he truly believes that's a girls call to make. Well, let's just hope he feels the same way about BJs. I do have one word of caution. I have known guys who left it up to the girl specifically so that they didn't feel they had to take any responsibility for it. Not saying that's the case. Could be a good guy. Just stick it in the back of your mind and if nothing triggers that to remind you in his future actions, you're good to go.
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Well, let's just hope he feels the same way about BJs. I do have one word of caution. I have known guys who left it up to the girl specifically so that they didn't feel they had to take any responsibility for it. Not saying that's the case. Could be a good guy. Just stick it in the back of your mind and if nothing triggers that to remind you in his future actions, you're good to go. It is possible, but this scenario would corroborate with other signs in the relationship. I suspected one of the guys I dated of this, but he also didn't contact me during the week at all and was just showing up on Sunday morning with a phone call asking about my schedule and waiting for me to invite him to come along to what I was doing. That's why I asked questions about how the relationship otherwise looks like. I'm a bit worried about the "hanging out" comment, but not ready to jump to conclusions.
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Not at all boring. I've always had a great time no matter what we were doing. You can have a great time with anyone. I'm not talking about "doin stuff" I'm talking about their energy, chemistry, connection, intensity. I have gone out with "great guys" but if they don't have the energy to keep up with my aggressive, passionate personality, I find them boring. I need that strong interaction. If I have to "wait" to make a move I don't feel desired and I know most women want that too. So why are you here talking about this OP?
curlygirl40 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 My 2 cents. There's a lot of good stuff here. But yet I cringed at the 'I like hanging out too'. A guy I dated recently for about 5 months said that to me and the week before had introduced me as a friend and I knew then that we weren't wanting the same things out of the relationship and we are now broken up. And it was all good stuff. Consistent contact, weekly dates, him initiating most of them and him paying ALL THE TIME. Good morning texts every day, he couldn't keep his hands off of me when we were together. He met my family, he helped me around the house. None of it really means anything regarding a guy's intentions or what he wants from you. I really think this one could go either way and since we're not in his head, we're just guessing really at this point. My advice is this. Do not let this go past 4-5 months w/o a girlfriend label. If after that long he still considers you 'hanging out' then tell him it's been fun 'hanging out' with him for this time but you're looking for a boyfriend and wish him well and move on. Good luck! 1
curlygirl40 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Just re-read what I wrote and realized I should clarify a little on the guy I dated and the break up. Once he introduced me as a friend and said to me 'since we started hanging out' I decided we really need to have the talk. Now, before we slept together we had a talk. We both took down our profiles and said we wouldn't see other people. So we were exclusive, constant contact, frequent dates. But when asked directly, he admitted he couldn't be in a serious relationship right now. So I walked. It was hard and it wasn't really a clean break, but I knew I had to do it. Give it some time but prepare to walk away if you find you're more invested and he still just wants to 'hang out'.
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Just re-read what I wrote and realized I should clarify a little on the guy I dated and the break up. Once he introduced me as a friend and said to me 'since we started hanging out' I decided we really need to have the talk. Now, before we slept together we had a talk. We both took down our profiles and said we wouldn't see other people. So we were exclusive, constant contact, frequent dates. But when asked directly, he admitted he couldn't be in a serious relationship right now. So I walked. It was hard and it wasn't really a clean break, but I knew I had to do it. Give it some time but prepare to walk away if you find you're more invested and he still just wants to 'hang out'. This why there should be verbal confirmation of exclusivity....people seem to think that assuming it good enough, until they find themselves too invested in something that wasn't there to begin with.
BluEyeL Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 They were exclusive, but not committed, I.e. a step below bf/gf, a step above fwb because they were not looking for others. Dating got weird these days. 1
curlygirl40 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 This why there should be verbal confirmation of exclusivity....people seem to think that assuming it good enough, until they find themselves too invested in something that wasn't there to begin with. We were exclusive. We had the 'we're exclusive and we'll both take our profiles down' conversation prior to sleeping together. But just because you're exclusive doesn't mean that the relationship will progress to a serious relationship and end up with bf/gf labels. He didn't want a serious relationship not because he was or wanted to see other people. He just wasn't ready. So I moved on. But we did have that talk early on.
smackie9 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) Well I did some checking around and "being exclusive" does mean BF/GF, and that you have moved from dating status to relationship status. And from what I have gathered you were under the impression that things were serious or you wouldn't be here posting a thread about it. He just played stupid and gave you the most lamest excuse to get out of a relationship with you. He is a back peddlin spineless twit. Edited September 14, 2014 by smackie9
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