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Girl wants me to say "I love you" before having sex with her

nerdlingZA

By nerdlingZA
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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Some guys should be banned from women.

  • Like 10
CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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ofcoz not, I've a point to prove.

 

If you do this, all it will prove is that you are a thoughtless pig.

  • Like 8
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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nerdlingZA

 

As much as this bothers me because you are so young, still in high school, where I don't think anybody is mature enough to handle all that sex entails emotionally or physically, you can have all the casual sex you want with a willing partner. She has specified what she wants -- an I love you. You do not have to give it to her. Especially if you feel she's using you to stroke her ego because she is chasing you. You still should not lie to her & use her for sex. If you say I want to have sex & she says OK, that's one thing but make sure you get consent before you do anything. Considering you claim that she's playing games lets make sure you don't end up in a situation where her consent was dubious & then she cries date rape in the morning.

  • Like 2
azureorb Member

azureorb

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Don't go that route of lying and saying you love her.

 

Oddly enough, honesty is key -- and works when you couple that with not trying to chase her panties down.

 

Just say "In all honesty, I like you -- but no, I don't fling the word 'love' around very easily, and I don't with you. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, and I like to be honest as I really like you and respect you. I'd like to hang out with you, and lightly date -- and be comfortable with you. But if you're worried that if I have sex with you I'll bolt right after -- absolutely not. Only idiot guys do that. I enjoy your company; I'll always be cool with you if you're cool with me. You wouldn't run from me if we had awesome sex together, would you? (light hearted but not joking tone) ..... If you're uncomfortable with that, that's fine, maybe we should just be acquaintances then, as I like you as more than a friend."

 

Now, if you do get to pork her -- no, do not walk away from her. Still hang out. If you can't still at least hang out with her, etc -- then don't move forward.

 

You want to convey that you want a laid-back, no-expectations situation on anything serious -- but you let whatever happen, happen -- while you're not just looking for sex. But in order for that to be roughly honest -- you have to not be JUST looking for sex.

Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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3. Hahaha this isn't about my friends its about me, she's going to be the first 10/10 I have sex with

 

No you understand, this girl is very very pretty, and all my friends expect me to have sex with her so going on to the next one isn't an option if I haven't sex her.

 

Preach on, junior mint.

Stick to porn. Seriously, it'll do her a lot less damage that way.

  • Like 2
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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How old are you...?

 

Definitely not old enough to be having sex.

  • Like 5
Candy_Pants Established Member

Candy_Pants

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Some guys should be banned from women.

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

  • Like 3
Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

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So it's OK to be a liar because other people are? Great, I might as well pretend to be in love with some millionaire, marry him for his money, then either cheat on him with the guy I really want, or screw him over in the divorce so I'm set for life. Because hey, if I don't do it, some other woman will, right?

 

Are you really comparing that situation to a teenage boy in High school questioning the morality between telling the truth or tweaking of it, in order to get laid a time or two, versus telling the honest and transparent truth in the risk of not getting laid but retaining some kind of "honor" which I'm sure is going to do his penis a lot of good, at a time when he has a strong compulsion to stick it somewhere, to..

 

Consciously as an adult premeditating an entire scheme, of going after a millionaire so you can marry him for his money, and then proceed to continue to lie and cheat over the course of many years, all the while engaging with a man or men she truly desires, in which, according to plan leads to divorce so she's set for life...to

 

again a kid in is pre-20's trying to get some vagina?

 

It's incomparable...

 

Even if we were to compare the two relatively...this guy wants a one time or maybe even multiple time entrance to the cave of wonders for a short span of time before he moves on with life, then he's gone and done...that's it, he's happy with that. We're not talking about years of deceit and lies, infidelity that leads to the extortion of large sums of money.

 

It's not even a question about right or wrong however, the point is that it's simply the reality.

 

If you separate a man between vagina and honor, and all he needs to do in order to get the vagina is just to make a little "white lie" or innocuous statement (in his eyes) in order to get what he wants, then he's going to justify it however he wants, just like a woman would justify something else in her eyes when it's completely beyond reason...what do you think he's REALLY going to do and a lot of other teenage boys in his shoes?

 

You're not going to save this girl, because you can't save her from herself. Without knowledge or understanding of men, she doesn't stand a chance in avoiding being manipulated, and even if you sat down and told her everything there is to know about men she'd still make the wrong decisions until she sees it and experiences it for herself...whether it be by this guy or the next, or the guy after that, or the guy after that

 

That is the point I'm trying to make...if men can simply lie to get into a woman's panties, they're going to do, nothing is going to stop them...because if she thinks simply asking a guy how he feels about her or what he wants is going to get her the truth, then she's setting herself up for disappointment.

 

What's in it for me to be honest and have some semblance of integrity? Oh, I don't know. The self-respect, dignity, and feeling of peace in knowing that I didn't have to lie and cheat to succeed in life?

 

Integrity is irrelevant to a lot of men and often times they don't associate their own behavior in the same light that you shine upon it, they justify it just like all people justifying their own actions...ASSUMING those people are even considering the consequences or thinking through or before they make decisions...which would be a huge leap in man-kind in of itself.

 

There are also virtues that are paraded around by women, but from a man's perspective they see women go for anything but men with those qualities...which makes them feel conflicted, angered and disappointed in what the point even is in doing so.

 

If the "nice guys" were getting all the ladies, or the relationships...then you wouldn't have to try so hard to convince them to be better men.

 

I agree with you there. The girl sounds very naive in the way she's handling all this. But her being ignorant doesn't justify lying on the part of the OP.

 

He's an ignorant as much as she is, as he does not recognize the damage or possible damage he may cause or inflict upon women. But that's something that women don't communicate to men about as they grow up, so men often don't understand, recognize or acknowledge the damage they are inflicting...it's confusing for them, and it just feels exaggerated and overly emotional to them...because men don't function or think like women. Many simply have to be taught to understand it.

 

But women are also naive about what "love" is and the needs/desires of men...they completely or all too often ignore their intuition for the sake of believing what they want to be the truth.

Mopparon Member

Mopparon

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He's an ignorant as much as she is, as he does not recognize the damage or possible damage he may cause or inflict upon women. But that's something that women don't communicate to men about as they grow up, so men often don't understand, recognize or acknowledge the damage they are inflicting...it's confusing for them, and it just feels exaggerated and overly emotional to them...because men don't function or think like women. Many simply have to be taught to understand it.

 

That is why we are trying to teach him. :)

Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

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That is why we are trying to teach him. :)

 

Good luck with that ;)

fred123 Established Member

fred123

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OP is getting slated but you know how many times girls do this? ie lead guys on and do the same?

 

its just as bad

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nerdlingZA Established Member

nerdlingZA

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The girl agreed for me to visit her, on her terms though, she said she's going to be with her bestfriend I told her imma bring my bestfriend too, she said we're going to watch OTHELLO - the movie- (we studying the book at school) so I'm not sure if possibilities of having sex are certain coz they'l be our bestfriends there. But I'll update you guys.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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The girl agreed for me to visit her, on her terms though, she said she's going to be with her bestfriend I told her imma bring my bestfriend too, she said we're going to watch OTHELLO - the movie- (we studying the book at school) so I'm not sure if possibilities of having sex are certain coz they'l be our bestfriends there. But I'll update you guys.

 

You are going to learn Shakespeare. You will not be having sex with this girl on this occasion so don't even get your hopes up.

  • Like 7
DreamLost Member

DreamLost

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Young man, if she is not expecting this and by making out with you, makes her feel guilty enough to cry rape, you will be in serious trouble. You cannot handle the consequences and this will scar you for life.

 

Listen, there will be plenty of girls (the ones you called 10/10 and are willing) that will come into your life in the future and so there is really no rush in jumping on the first 10/10 that shows some interest in you (and probably not the kind of interest you are looking for).

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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1. She's not a virgin but she has little experience when it comes to relationships judging by the way she behaves E.G Calling me 4 times a day

 

2. I don't think she would drag me coz she has the impression that I'm a 'Player' since I flirt with a lot of girls at school.

 

3. Hahaha this isn't about my friends its about me, she's going to be the first 10/10 I have sex with

 

No, please don't have sex with this girl, period. Tell her "I'm not going to say I love you because I am not in love with you. I do want to have sex with you. Since we are not after the same things I think it is best that you stop calling me." I also think this girls mom should tell her to stop chasing after boys and let the ones who are interested come to her. I would be horrified to find out a daughter of mine was chasing after some guy to tell her he loved her.

  • Like 3
PogoStick Established Member

PogoStick

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LS members has already given this guy way more attention and validation than he deserves just by engaging in the conversation.

  • Like 3
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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LS members has already given this guy way more attention and validation than he deserves just by engaging in the conversation.

 

Not really. the OP is a confused teenager. He gets more slack than a grown man with similar issues.

Diezel Established Member

Diezel

Posted
Posted
The girl agreed for me to visit her, on her terms though, she said she's going to be with her bestfriend I told her imma bring my bestfriend too, she said we're going to watch OTHELLO - the movie- (we studying the book at school) so I'm not sure if possibilities of having sex are certain coz they'l be our bestfriends there. But I'll update you guys.

 

You might have better luck having sex with your best friend. He might not ask you to say "I love you" first.

  • Like 4
MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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You might have better luck having sex with your best friend. He might not ask you to say "I love you" first.

 

 

 

Then there's that whole 'What are we now?' conversation.

 

 

Awkward.

  • Like 3
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I don't recall being this clueless when I was a teenager. Did boys really think like this??? zowie lol

  • Like 2
ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

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I don't recall being this clueless when I was a teenager. Did boys really think like this??? zowie lol

He ain't confused. He knows what he wants (10/10 pussy) and want he doesn't want (gf or emotions), but was hoping he would get a lot more support on his 'lie to her' plan to feel better about doing it.

I agree with NIP to an extent that other guys are going to lie to her, but I feel this high school girl will also have a very good chance of finding a guy who will want a 10/10 girl for a gf and not just wham bam ego & status boost. If she wasn't pursuing him though she would not be setting herself up. Even 10/10 girls are not dead certs in getting what they want always.

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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He ain't confused. He knows what he wants (10/10 pussy) and want he doesn't want (gf or emotions), but was hoping he would get a lot more support on his 'lie to her' plan to feel better about doing it.

 

See, I disagree that he "knows what he wants"

 

Sure, she's hot and it's reasonable that having sex with a hot girl is something to want.

 

The problem here is that his decisions are being massively influenced by the fact that he wants to brag to his friends.

 

Every excuse he's made so far comes back to "but i told my friends I was gonna sex her"

 

Someone who makes bad decisions to impress their friends doesn't sound at all like someone who knows what he wants. Just my observation...

  • Like 3
Mopparon Member

Mopparon

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Good luck with that ;)

 

Thanks. Its best not to give up on people, to help them out as much as you can, especially when they ask for advice. That's what LoveShack is all about. :)

Edited by Mopparon
  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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He ain't confused. He knows what he wants (10/10 pussy) and want he doesn't want (gf or emotions), but was hoping he would get a lot more support on his 'lie to her' plan to feel better about doing it.

I agree with NIP to an extent that other guys are going to lie to her, but I feel this high school girl will also have a very good chance of finding a guy who will want a 10/10 girl for a gf and not just wham bam ego & status boost. If she wasn't pursuing him though she would not be setting herself up. Even 10/10 girls are not dead certs in getting what they want always.

 

Clueless on how to properly get it (pussy)....duh.

Edited by smackie9
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