d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 It's a trap. Don't comply, just try to bed her and if she resists, move on and stop giving her attention. If you say "I love you" she'll get the validation she's after and won't have any use for you any longer. Do you understand that people in this post are children? The OP is 18-19 & we don't know how old the girl is.
somegoodman Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Do you understand that people in this post are children? The OP is 18-19 & we don't know how old the girl is. If the OP is 18 then he isn't a child. And if the girl is open to sex then I'm assuming she's 16 or older. Either way I'm not sure what your point is.
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 If the OP is 18 then he isn't a child. And if the girl is open to sex then I'm assuming she's 16 or older. Either way I'm not sure what your point is. But the girl is only open to sex if OP loves her and wants a committed relationship with her. He doesn't and thats ok. But they are not compatible, so the OP needs to move on to find someone who does just want casual sex, who does want what he wants. That is what a mature adult would do, and if the OP isn't going to do that then yes, I think he is still an immature boy, an immature child, and not an adult. Its his choice. But pressuring someone into sex, purely to show off to others?! That is a glaring sign of immaturity, something a child would do, not a mature adult.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 nerdlingZA Who cares what your friends want? Be a man not a boy. This girl doesn't want you to tell her you love her. She actually wants to be in love before she has sex. You said yourself that you just want to bang her. In essence you want to use her for your pleasure regardless of what she wants. Do not lie to her. Do not use her. Do the honorable thing & walk away. If you do anything else you are not a quality person. If you are this bad at 18-19, I shudder to think what an awful person you will become if you follow the despicable advice given to you by Mister Zen. Give credit where credit is due. Most guys wouldn't even think twice about uttering those words and probably have to several other girls/virgins just to get in their pants. The grow up, continuing to lie to women, have even more sex, end up in relationships, end up married with kids and nobody knows about it...and everyone could think he's the greatest guy on the planet becomes how he performs as a husband and a father...after all, 90 percent of the people here say the past is the past anyway and how you learn from it is what counts, right? So don't demonize these guys for being young and coming to the forum with a real question/guy problem, thinking what most guys are thinking as it's a temptation when you put simple words between his penis and her vagina..these young girls need to be educated and informed about men by other grown women, but you never see women running around trying to help each other out or putting that weight on another woman's shoulders, they just blame and talk crap about the guys who do it...but women are the ones who control the gates to Babylon...if it's as simple as telling a girl what she wants to hear to get in her pants...how many teenage boys do you REALLY think are going to take the higher moral ground just not to get laid? while the next douchebag comes along without any hesitation or fear and gets that vagina within half the time or just pushes for sex, she doesn't really resist or deny and just lets it happen, and it's over and done with and she's "in-love" with him, swooning in his sweet words and then he just decides it's time to take the next train out of town and is selling the same package to the next girl. All I'm saying is stop expecting boys to be men at 18, if you're not expecting girls to be women at 18 or whatever age. Instead of talking about how men should be wise, honorable and chivalrous...teach young women to be wise, competent and not fall for the BS...that'll probably help her a lot longer and be much more effective because stopping one guy only leaves the door open for another guy to do what he wasn't willing to...and what does he get as a reward? a pat on the back...seems like a small reward for such "honorable" behavior to these young guys. To make matters worse, young guys see these type of guys continually succeed with women who get laid, who lie, BS and screw around with these women and the women are STILL interested in these guys. So you have to consider the perspective and point of view from men, it's easy for you to tell this kid he's a bad person when he's the actual guy coming to the forum and expressing his concern and judgment essentially in need of guidance...most women don't do that until after they make a really stupid decision.
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 If the girl came here to express her concern about this situation, I would tell her the exact same thing! These 2 people are just not compatible! Its as simple as that! Neither of them are bad people, neither of them are wrong for having their own relationship priorities and deal breakers. I just think they both need to move on and find better matches. I don't think the OP is a bad guy at all, I just think he is at a point in his life where he has the potential to go down the wrong path and I want to discourage him from going that route. I'm trying to save this girl from a world of heartache by trying to encourage him to do the right thing and find someone who wants what he wants out of a relationship. This is the age of the internet, and there are plenty of women / girls out there looking for casual sex / flings these days, so the OP has the chance to have the fun he wants with someone else. People want different things out of relationships and thats ok. He's not a bad guy at all, and she's not a bad girl, but he does have the potential to become the bad guy in this situation if he continues to pressure her to have sex. He does have the potential to cause her a lot of emotional hurt. I'm hoping he won't go down that route. I'm hoping he realises that he can have all the fun he wants with other women who are ready and willing.
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 ninjapajamas The boy came here for advice. I gave him advice. I can't advise the girl because she's not here. If you read my post history, I consistently tell people to take personal responsibility & be honest. 3
Phoe Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Oh my goodness. I am legitimately worried for this poor girl. I feel so terrible for her. I really hope the OP doesn't take the advice about just shutting his mouth and having sex with her' "just do it", because that really gives me a bad rapey vibe, but after posting the response like "oh hey thanks yeah that's what I plan to do" it now seems like the OP is gone. 2
somegoodman Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 But the girl is only open to sex if OP loves her and wants a committed relationship with her. He doesn't and thats ok. Yes, that's what she says. but as soon as he expresses that he wants a committed relationship too, she'll lose interest and then it's game over. there's a big difference between what women say they want and what they actually respond positively to.
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 Yes, that's what she says. but as soon as he expresses that he wants a committed relationship too, she'll lose interest and then it's game over. there's a big difference between what women say they want and what they actually respond positively to. This is exactly what I know will happen, she wants to know that I ****ing love her and boost her ****ing ego and lose interest in me
somegoodman Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 This is exactly what I know will happen, she wants to know that I ****ing love her and boost her ****ing ego and lose interest in me Yup. Just start ignoring and avoiding her. Don't be angry with her, just withdraw your attention.
lollipopspot Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Yes, that's what she says. but as soon as he expresses that he wants a committed relationship too, she'll lose interest and then it's game over. there's a big difference between what women say they want and what they actually respond positively to. Sorry you've had back luck, pushed people away, or chosen some unfortunate women, but stereotyping all women based on your preconceived notions is not very insightful. If women don't really want a committed relationship, then I don't know why marriage exists. Do you? 2
Ruby Slippers Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 To be fair, if he doesn't lie the next guy almost certainly will if she's "very pretty". and what does he get as a reward? a pat on the back...seems like a small reward for such "honorable" behavior to these young guys. So it's OK to be a liar because other people are? Great, I might as well pretend to be in love with some millionaire, marry him for his money, then either cheat on him with the guy I really want, or screw him over in the divorce so I'm set for life. Because hey, if I don't do it, some other woman will, right? What's in it for me to be honest and have some semblance of integrity? Oh, I don't know. The self-respect, dignity, and feeling of peace in knowing that I didn't have to lie and cheat to succeed in life? Instead of talking about how men should be wise, honorable and chivalrous...teach young women to be wise, competent and not fall for the BS...that'll probably help her a lot longer and be much more effective because stopping one guy only leaves the door open for another guy to do what he wasn't willing to... I agree with you there. The girl sounds very naive in the way she's handling all this. But her being ignorant doesn't justify lying on the part of the OP. 4
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 Are you still in highschool? Yes iam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
somegoodman Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 If women don't really want a committed relationship, then I don't know why marriage exists. Do you? Haha yeah I do but you won't like my answer. Anyway, OP, I'm assuming that you wanted an answer grounded in reality. If you want to listen to female advice, don't say I didn't warn you.
No Limit Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I'm actually curious to hear if she'd really just open her legs the moment you say it, or whether she will drag you along for a relationship first for a while. Really hard to guess from this point. Is she a virgin, or does having lots of ego boosts and sex have value for her too? But I do agree with the other poster; if OP won't do it, another will for sure - sorry but that girl is fair game. Now the question would be; OP, are you ready for manhood and resist the urge of screwing a not-that-innocent-girl over, or rather earn some cheers from buddies who will forget the whole thing within a week?
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 She isn't "fair game", if she wants a committed relationship before she has sex than that is what she wants. If he wants just casual sex then thats what he wants. Both are perfectly fine choices. I'm a big believer in compatibility in relationships, if you aren't compatible with your relationship partner its going to end in tears for someone. Don't be a jerk OP. 4
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 I got nothing. I give zero f***** what my friends think of my sex life. Not sure how that's a valid argument. I got nothing and I give zero f***** too but I've to do this man! I've to ****ing this 1. She's sexy. 2. If I have sex with her I'll be the first in the group to have sex with a very hot girl.
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 Do not lie to her. Do not use her. Do the honorable thing & walk away. I would do this if; she doesn't come after me, she always initiates contacts and always comes to me at school, i would appear as a wimp if I was to just walk away from someone who comes to me.
lollipopspot Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I got nothing and I give zero f***** too but I've to do this man! I've to ****ing this 1. She's sexy. 2. If I have sex with her I'll be the first in the group to have sex with a very hot girl. Wow this strikes me as dumb. I have the feeling that if you go ahead and lie and "accomplish" this, this will probably be the pinnacle of your accomplishments. At your age, I was thinking more about activism and social change and how to contribute. Seriously. I had higher aspirations and didn't have the kind of shallow perspective that you express. This is what I mean about fairly average or below people having fairly average or below kids thinking they will "contribute" to the world. Just wasting resources until you kick it.
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Yes, that's what she says. but as soon as he expresses that he wants a committed relationship too, she'll lose interest and then it's game over. there's a big difference between what women say they want and what they actually respond positively to. But as soon as he has sex with her, HE'LL lose interest. He's already admitted that! Do you really want this girl, who you have never met, to suffer like you have suffered? Are you really that cruel?
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 If you friends expect you to smoke crack would you? ofcoz not, I've a point to prove.
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 IDK, you described her beauty with 2 verys. Sounds pretty hot, so why aren't you singing 'she's so fine I want to make her mine'? 1. I don't want to love anyone 2. I don't want a relationship 3. I enjoy the casual
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 Seriously, do you really want to continue down a path of doing things just to show off to other people?! No matter who you hurt along the way? No I don't intend on hurting her but she's the one whose attracted to me
doeblin Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 No I don't intend on hurting her but she's the one whose attracted to me So she's just collateral damage to showing off to your bros, huh? 6
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 I'm actually curious to hear if she'd really just open her legs the moment you say it, or whether she will drag you along for a relationship first for a while. Really hard to guess from this point. Is she a virgin, or does having lots of ego boosts and sex have value for her too? But I do agree with the other poster; if OP won't do it, another will for sure - sorry but that girl is fair game. Now the question would be; OP, are you ready for manhood and resist the urge of screwing a not-that-innocent-girl over, or rather earn some cheers from buddies who will forget the whole thing within a week? 1. She's not a virgin but she has little experience when it comes to relationships judging by the way she behaves E.G Calling me 4 times a day 2. I don't think she would drag me coz she has the impression that I'm a 'Player' since I flirt with a lot of girls at school. 3. Hahaha this isn't about my friends its about me, she's going to be the first 10/10 I have sex with
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