I dont even know if i broke up with her or she broke up with me

[sportsguy1991]

Where do I begin? This one girl was crushing on me hard for around 6-7 years. She was hot, but admittedly I had many other options and didnt feel the need to drive 30 minutes to go see her to ever make anything of it. Fast forward to this past March and I run into her on campus. We really hit it off and started hanging out pretty often and started a sexual relationship a couple weeks later. The sex was insane and she gave the best blowjobs I have ever received. (She said I am the first guy she has ever blown and she was visibly nervous the first time. That being said she is a perfectionist and does alot of research. Within a week the bj's were crazy good) Because of this I made the mistake of committing to be exclusive much earlier than i normally do. I should say that this was the last semester of college for me and with a job already lined up and taking crazy easy classes, i really had alot of down time and I ****ed up by thinking with my dick and being too available. She was over like 4 or 5 times a week and we spent way too much time together over the next 4 months.

 

Now before I go on I should say that she did have alot of baggage. She had just gotten out of a 3 year abusive relationship, her ex step father was abusive, her mom is an absolute wreck and doesnt really act like much of a mom towards her. To top it all off, she has been cheated on in every relationship she has been in, she has social anxiety, depression, trust issues, and horrible self esteem. She did not party much and didnt like my partying ways. Because of her crazy ex she did not want to be in a relationship, but yet were pretty much were 100% in a relationship and she called me her bf, met my parents, etc. So yeah logic says i should run far away, but i really just cant.

 

This girl pretty much treated me like a god. She told me that she thought I was out of her league. She was all over me at all times, said I was soo hot and a 10/10, always wanting sex, texting me 24/7, she would be in my bed and telling me how she cant believe that she is here, she thought it was a fairy tale, she was the high school nerd and I was the hot, party, jock. she said she loved me after a couple months. This all changed on the 4th of July. She did **** up, by I was drunk and overreacted and was pretty beta about the whole situation. The night ended with awesome sex and i thought it was all resolved.

 

The next day she called and said that she felt we were moving too fast and wanted to slow down. She didnt want to break up or lose me, but just slow down the relationship. The next 2 days were pretty much back to normal and her saying she loved me, etc. Then she got distant and never had time to hang out with me. I reacted by being more distant. It was different, but she would still text me first, call me babe, etc. She asked me to hangout a few times, but i was too busy. After a month I finally ended it partly because I was not going to let her end it first and partly because I was not going to be in an exclusive relationship with someone that I hadnt had sex with in a month. She was a little tearful and saying it wasnt fair that she has to lose me cuz we are so close. She said that we could still keep doing our thing, but I would not have to be exclusive. By this time I was in tough guy mode and just wanted her gone. She asked if she could reach out to me when she is ready to be in a relationship and I didnt respond.

 

A few days later I panicked and told her to come pick up her stuff. We talked for like an hour and just joked around. Right before she left I grabbed her and kissed her. She kissed back and wouldnt let me pull away and told me I was turning her on. Unfortunately she had to leave and I escalate it. I thought I had her back and 2 days later i told her to wear that dress that i like and i was picking her up friday night. I wouldnt tell her what the plan was as i wanted it to be a surprise (I had gotten us a horse drawn carriage ride). She seems excited, but on the day of the date she told me that she was having panic attacks because she didnt know the plan. She told me that I cant just end things with her and then do something that seems like a date. She backed out. Since August 1st she hasnt reached out once. After 2 weeks I texted her about an inside joke that we had. She responded enthusiastically, i replied, and then it took her a day to reply back. I was annoyed so i didnt respond. Now I havent heard from her in 3 weeks.

 

Im so confused. I cant even tell if I was the one who broke up with her or if she broke up with me. I want her back. She was a smokin hot girl who didnt know it and didnt act like it. Great personality, and sense of humor, fun to be around, amazing sex, blowjobs, down for a 3some and anal. Should I contact her or wait for her to contact me. Based on her personality and baggage I find it hard to believe that she isnt missing me like crazy, while also thinking that I have totally forgot about her. I havent forgot her. i want her back. Did I **** up or can I save this situation?

Edited September 10, 2014 by sportsguy1991

[ExpatInItaly]

It doesn't sound as though she is ready for a relationship at this point, so I don't think efforts to woo her back will be entirely fruitful. And you don't seem too ready either - you say you made the mistake of committing. What do you want, exactly?

 

Also, you didn't say what happened on the 4th of July. How did she **** up? What was the event that caused things to change? That could help paint a clearer picture of the relationship history and why she has pulled away.

[sportsguy1991]

I feel like I made the mistake of committing too early. We were only hanging out for a couple weeks before I said yes to being exclusive. Feel like the whole relationship was in fast forward if that makes sense.

[Strength in Healing]

Dang, and I thought I was arrogant... lol

 

Here's how to save the situation: learn humility. I know this seems harsh and out of the blue, but we both know I'm not the first to say this line of stuff.

[sportsguy1991]

Dang, and I thought I was arrogant... lol

 

Here's how to save the situation: learn humility. I know this seems harsh and out of the blue, but we both know I'm not the first to say this line of stuff.

 

haha I will admit it am confident, but I originally wrote this for a different bodybuilding more bro-centric audience and then just copy pasted it over here.

[Strength in Healing]

Confident would stop you from posting things like "she said I was a 10/10". You lack confidence brother.

 

Though I understand the bro centricity, I am a fan of my local gym. However, if you posted that on bodybuilding.com, I would assume they tore you to shreds. Is that where you posted it? lol