Should OLD be outlawed?

[R3d]

Discuss.

 

10char

[2nd tyme]

Yes, I hate getting old.

[sillyanswer]

Discuss.

 

You first. Why?

[R3d]

You first. Why?

 

This post:

 

I like what you wrote, your whole post. I can see the passion and angst in your words towards.. Well dating and the structure of how life sort of is. I can relate.

 

OLD is so sad. It's the most discouraging piece of crap out there. It's not even putting yourself out there! There is no risk, and no learning. It's for lazy people who are fearful of feeling rejection in the3-D world.

 

When two people say they met online... What a bore of a story. No one here can deny that. All romance is gone. You don't message someone, meet.. and then have this explosion of roses bubbling in your chest.. Nah.. It's like a fvvkin interview. Everything is so logical and not based off feeling. Because it started in a logical sense. “are we compatible?” match % based off of questions like an exam.

 

"Well one night, Dan messaged me on OkCupid and I responded, and then 2 weeks later we went on a date, after e-mailing back and forth - just so I knew we were compatible and I would be safe. "

 

...That's so romantic..... OLD doesn't feel special at all. It's a conveyor belt of people. And nothing is different about anyone. Every person loves to travel, and every person is driven with passion… And every person has a photo of them having fun to show they are fun? No seriously… Tell me I’m wrong. In real life everyone is so vastly different. And that’s how you see who you’re compatible with…

 

Everyone who signed up lost hope in real life and gave online a shot and now they are stuck there. If you're online dating.. part of you is already dead with no hope of meeting that ideal person. Now it's just about finding someone who will be satisfactory so you don't have to be a single loner living by yourself cooking mac n’ cheese on a Friday night.

 

No one pictures meeting their significant other online. That's not ideal for anyone. So why even do it? Everyone thinks you're online meeting that turned in to a relationship is fvvking lame - they just don't say it. And the people in the relationship secretly do to. I'd be pouring a shot of whiskey while the couple tells that story... What a depressing story when you break it down. I’m sure the man loves to brag to his buddies how he met his girlfriend off of tinder or Match.com………………………

 

No person new to dating starts off OLDing. No... They ask people out, get shot down, then have 1 bad date, lose confidence, and then assemble this perfectly worded profile... Realize this isn't the ideal way... But continue anyways, because they know that feeling of what it actually feels like to be rejected. They just don’t want to feel that again… because; gosh! That hurt.

Welcome to OLD... Where secretly.. No one wants to be there, but people entertain the idea, because this is the last resort and you don’t get totally killed inside based off how you react to real rejection....

 

*1,909,293 users looking for love online now!*

Only 39.99 a month.

 

One thing I learned from acting…

Everything is a business. Including you. Once a person sees that they are a business in every sense. Sculpting the ideal you doesn’t become that difficult. Find your target audience and market yourself towards that.

 

Holt Renfrew draws a certain crowd.

Abercrombie and Fitch draws a certain crowd.

Old Navy draws a certain crowd.

 

How are you any different than that business? Your look intrigues some, more than others. Women know what they want. Men know what they want.

 

Usually I dress like a hipster with plaid and combat boots, vintage tee’s, a cool necklace... That draws a certain type of young woman..

But the woman I want and would probably be a really good fit with -- a more professional type who wears dresses, etc and see a future with, is looking for a man who markets himself differently because that’s what she is. Interactions in real life always start based off of physicality.

Give me a shiny watch, a nice collared shirt, stylish shoes… I bet that woman who didn’t notice me in plaid will now notice what I’m wearing and assume something different of me.

 

So if you’re not getting the results you want… Change something. We live in cooperate America. You are a business.

 

A business which accepts they are unattractive and stays selling the same sh*t not making profit… Doesn’t change. And will always be unattractive.

 

Blaming the opposite sex, or another person or thing is so easy. And it might be true! But taking responsibility and being like “I should change something” is incredibly difficult, because your whole life you have been told you’re perfect the way you are. But in reality… You’re not.

 

So why do men not approach? Because they are scared of rejection.

Why are women so rude to men who approach? Because they are fearful and scared they are dangerous.

Why don’t you pursue your true life’s desire? Because you failed once and it sucked.

Why don’t you take a new class and try something new? Because you’re comfortable.

Why do we bitch online? Because we know we failed somewhere and it’s a vicious cycle but just won’t take responsibility that we were part of the reason.

 

And this post:

 

Stranger danger.

 

Women out in public aren't really open to being approached by strange men they don't know. It's not like it used to be. Women SERIOUSLY have their guards/*itch shields up (for a lack of a better word).

 

I remember attempting such approaches in waiting areas, lines at coffee shops, stores, etc...only to have them be very SHORT with me or anxious to end the conversation and get home.

 

If they are single, chances are after such an awkward encounter, they get home, lock the doors and log into a dating site to have the ability to CONTROL who approaches them via delete key. lol

 

YOu used to be able to do this in the World War II era where a soldier would just pick a woman and marry her...easy peasy.

 

It's corrupting the dating acene.

[PegNosePete]

I would advise you to not take certain posts that you read on the internet too seriously. Go by your own feelings and experiences.

 

Besides if they did ban it then the sites would just open up again in Cayman Islands or Gibraltar or wherever happens to be an internet censorship safe spot these days.

[carhill]

IMO, when one experiences enough of life to comprehend how many outlawed things there really are and how much of human behavior is legislated to be right or wrong or good or bad, you'll revel in the reality that seeking out a dating partner, or mate, via the computer and internet is still allowed, not to be confused with legal. My opinion is to enjoy what freedom you have while you have it. It's getting less and less with each passing minute.

 

Disclaimer: User of the ancient predecessor of OLD, newspaper ads, where the phone number was two letters and four numbers. The 'stuff' is still the same, only the medium has changed. Hopefully it will be allowed into the indeterminate future since, as a basic human drive (to mate), laws do little to curb people doing what they do. They find a way.

[mammasita]

This is completely ridiculous.

 

If OLD should be outlawed, then cell phones and computers should be outlawed because people don't write letters and communicate the way we used to blah blah blah. You shouldn't be asking complete strangers on the internet personal questions....you should be asking people you know and trust

 

Think about it. It's the nature of the beast. Things evolve, people evolve. Deal with it.

[sillyanswer]

It's corrupting the dating acene.

 

So you think it should be outlawed in order to promote a more 'traditional' form of seeking a date?

 

If so, I disagree. It's a convenient way for people to find each other, and it works.

[serial muse]

Why would you go so far as to outlaw it? No one's forcing anyone to do online dating. If it's not for you, don't do it.

 

I read those two posts. The first one thinks OLD is kind of icky and unromantic, and the second - while I'm not sure I agree about women's overall state of fearfulness - isn't actually an argument against OLD.

 

You'd want to ban something based on somebody finding it icky and unromantic? I'll take freedom of choice, thanks.

[R3d]

I am not really personally trying to take a stance here. I was just curious to see what you people think.

[serial muse]

Ah, OK...well then I'd say the case for outlawing has yet to be made, IMO.

[Purepony]

Hmm.... this should be a sticky

[isisisweeping]

No way. Online dating is a rational and sensible means of finding someone with whom you are highly compatible.

I LOVE the thought of meeting someone online more than in person so don't say no one. Who cares about faux romance based on some odd outdated ideals? I never had that sort of thought or fantasy.

[MissBee]

 

Ahh no...far worse things need to be outlawed.

 

It's like cigarettes and alcohol. They come with warning labels about how they may damage your health yet, people are free to smoke and imbibe as they see fit and others are free to reject these things.

 

Why should OLD be outlawed? Lots of people find it useful and absolutely NO ONE is being forced to use it. If you despise it or dislike it, you are not under any obligation to ever sign up for it. I find it a useful tool. I found my current and last bf through that medium and also had some decent dates that way. While it has its particularities which are annoying, regular dating comes with its own set of annoyances and problems. That's just dating itself so I don't often see anything that more special about online in terms of problems you encounter. I can easily filter folks and block and delete correspondences whereas sometimes in the offline world it is not as convenient to do so, so it does have its benefits IME.

 

It's totally one's free choice to do so or not. So no, it should bot be outlawed simply because some folks don't like it or find it helpful. Save the law-making process for things which actually matter and not foolishness.

Edited September 10, 2014 by MissBee

[Art_Critic]

No, I'm personally biased though as I met my wife thru OLD and had many short to long term relationships that started from OLD...

I also wouldn't have a wonderful 6 year old little boy today without OLD...

 

I wish more guys were able to look thru the BS that exists in OLD.. I saw it from day one and never went there...

I did have to figure out how to get women to reply back to my emails, in the end humor and good picture backed up with a well written non BS profile got me all my replies.

[OwMyEyeball]

It's a pretty big leap from disliking a service that gives some users a poor experience to outright banning it.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if OLD today is being regarded with the same suspicion and disdain today as the telephone was back in 19-whenever.

 

If OLDers find the whole experience causes them greater discomfort than it's worth, they're free to stop using the service and pursue the numerous other avenues of human connection that are available to just about everyone.