nightmare01 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I think that it's not up to the WS to decide what details to share and what to hold back. The WS has already lied and thereby controlled what their BS did and what decisions they made, which is an extremely disrespectful thing to do. If the WS loves their BS and wants to reconcile then they need to provide all information the BS wants and needs. But there are the lies of omission to consider. The BS can wonder, what don't I know? We don't know what we don't know, so how can we ask about it? Regarding the lies of omission, I think providing a full timeline to the BS is in order. Sort of an overview that provides enough detail so that nothing is left out. Where you went together, and what you did. If the BS needs more detail about an event then the WS should provide it. Letting the BS know that there are emails, letters, photographs, videos, etc., then it will be up to the BS to look at this material or not. Gifts from the AP are another issue. I think the WS should go through everything and lay the gifts out for the BS to see. Once that's done the BS and WS can deal with each item (throwing it away / destroying it) together.
Spectre Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 (edited) I always want the whole truth and for me here is how you can tell how serious someone is: if they truly care for you..the FIRST chance they get to tell you about their cheating they will do so. They will not wait a week or a month or a year, because they'd recognize every single second spent with them not knowing is a lie. So they'd be immediately confessing what they did and giving ALL the details, period. Anyone who doesn't do this? Just plain doesn't love their spouse. I already feel they don't due to the whole cheating, but if you didn't go and immediately make things right after cheating? It just drills home the "I am selfish as hell and don't care about my partner" line of thought. I've seen people who waited months to tell. It's like..did you and your spouse never say "i love you" during this time? I just don't know how anyone can look someone square in the eyes and tell them they love them..while also knowing how horribly they betrayed them. Sorry, if you cheat on Friday night you best be telling your spouse by Saturday night. Frankly I don't care what is going on, I don't care if World War 3 starts in your backyard, you STILL do not wait to tell, period. One of my best friends discovered her man was having an A with another woman by finding a video of them having sex. She still stayed (and tortured him, ofc). My sister caught her husband with another woman in their own house. She still stayed (and moved to another bedroom, ofc). For some people, it doesn't matter. It just boggles the mind. If you are going to cheat fine, but then you videotape it and leave it where your wife can find it? Dear lord I've met ants with more intelligence and common sense. Edited September 30, 2014 by Spectre
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