Kaiten Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 I have been trying to be real chill about this. But I recently started visiting at church again. I used to be best friends with some people there. But at one point, I had left for about a year (- and not because of something I did). During that year I didn't go to church, I got roughly 2 text messages from my church friends, if that. During that year, they also did not interact with me whatsoever on social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. When I started visiting church again, for my own reasons, it was like a switch cut back on. Suddenly they were talking to me again, and tagging me in posts on social media. Someone as observant as I am can't help but notice when people are not talking to you (or returning your calls) for a year, and then you show back up in church and people are telling you how much they love you and very suddenly interacting with you again. Am I wrong in thinking that this is shallow? I am open to opposing opinions. Thanks for reading.
Elias33 Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 It's group mentality, you're in again. Not shallow, just group mentality. People want to belong in a category, group, club for a reason. Human behavior. Just realize that the friends you talk to, are more closer to acquaintances. With that in mind, you can still talk to and accept these people. 1
Author Kaiten Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 That is actually exactly what I was thinking. Most people in my situation would say, "They so fake! They not real like me! Ooh, I can't stand fake people!" But I honestly, see no reason to hate them or be at odds with them. I could actually see a way to live in peace with them, though our ideas of friendship are different.
todreaminblue Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 i think when you disappear from church .....for certain reasons or reasons unknown........speaking from a current experience......i dont want to invade this persons personal space......i think about him every day i pray for him every day...i worry every day ....so i am buying more hair dye.....but he has made no effort to contact me or return my calls...he has not been in church fro a long time.....longer than he has stayed away before.......i hope and i pray he is ok...its all i can do...his birthday is soon.....ill send him birthday wishes...even though last year he actually cut my friendship off when i wished him happy birthday saying i was a creep because i write smilin atcha.....he assumed i am flirting.....maybe i was deep down..because i have always liked him.......i dont know ...does my head in...i have always treated him respectfully........so in that respect ......sometimes people dont want to appear stalkerish....and honestly....why havent you contacted these people if you care for them...it goes both ways....you have to make an effort too.... i often wonder why peopel dotn contact me....and then i know deep down i have to let them know i want contact...like my bestest buddies ....will leave me alone unless i contact them and keep it regular.....because i often retreat from the world and the people in it.....i accept i am also responsible for lack of contact sometimes people assume you dont want them to contact you...its wrong to assume.....but we all do it......ack.....i dont even know if i should wish this guy i know happy birthday.....i know i will end up doing it regardless of the reaction i get...just because its what i want to do ...i hope he has a great birthday....his reaction or ignorance and no replies however, disturbs me.....i am unlikely to repeat any contact after this......ill leave him alone with his thoughts......he has friends he keeps in contact with and i am not one of them...its how i find out a little about how he is doing......not much though..... honestly if you like the friends you have...keep in contact so that they know that they can contact you..and that you consider them to be your friends and worth a reply.............deb 1
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