Gaeta Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I am setting up a date with an online man. He is a really nice prospect for me in many ways. He explained to me his work is split between my city and CT (about 6 hour drive) so 7 months of the year he is here in Montreal, and the rest he is in CT. He says when he's there he travels here each 2 weekends. It didn't sound that bad. Then someone suggested I checked CT for a profile and I found him. He has the exact same profile in CT. I looked inside it so he'll see I have viewed his CT profile. Is this a red, orange, or yellow light? Should I bring up the CT profile? Thanks
CarrieT Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Leave it alone. It would make total sense that he would have two profiles since he doesn't know where he is going to find love. He is being honest that he lives in two cities and he's working the system as best he can. I don't blame him. 10
mammasita Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Not a big deal yet. Makes perfect sense that he'd be looking there too since he splits time. Go with it for now and see what happens.
Ronni_W Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Why would it be a 'flag'? If it's the exact same profile, it's not as if he's trying to deceive people in one city over the other. Good for you for being upfront/honest about having checked him out in the other city! No need to bring it up because, as you said, he'll see that you've 'done your homework', so to speak. Wishing you a happy date 1
Author Gaeta Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 I am a bit wary because last year I was dating a man saying he lived here but traveling to NY for business. Turns out he was living in NY and occasionally traveling here. He had come up with all kinds of fake home address and office address.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I would be concerned if you found that he has two penises... With today's tech, I would not be surprised to find two profiles or more if you are a good hunter.
Mrin Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 This is not a big deal in the slightest. I split time between a small town in the mountains and a big city. I used to have a profile on one site in the mountains and the other site set to the city.
isisisweeping Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I am a bit wary because last year I was dating a man saying he lived here but traveling to NY for business. Turns out he was living in NY and occasionally traveling here. He had come up with all kinds of fake home address and office address. Well, I guess at least you know he doesn't have a wife in the other city he was travelling to "for work"... I've ran into *that* before.
Atticus9292012 Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I don't think it's a flag of any color yet. Now if he keeps one profile after committing to someone in the other city, that's a problem. At this point, I wouldn't sweat it. 1
Assasda Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Wow, you think that people would talk more, and do less detective work. Seems like being a private eye is easier these days 1
sillyanswer Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Is this a red, orange, or yellow light? Should I bring up the CT profile? Thanks Dating sites don't really have an option to say where you live if the correct answer is that you live in multiple cities so I think it makes sense to make a profile for each city (assuming you want to find dates in each city). So, it's a green light. It's a non-issue. If your dating is a success and he takes down his profile you might want to check that he has taken down the other one, too, of course. 1
preraph Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Nah, it's okay as long as he's not married. The best thing to do is copy his photo and go to google and type in "google camera" and then follow easy directions to search for this photo and it will bring up other photos of the guy and in this way you might at least find out if he is or has been married if one comes up with a woman and kids. And also might find out if it's just the 2 profiles or many more and make sure his info matches and someone's not using his photo to catfish.
carhill Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Is this a red, orange, or yellow light? Should I bring up the CT profile? You haven't met yet. Go on the date and what happens, happens. Remember, there's a whole pile of stuff he doesn't know about you either. Get to know and see how it goes. His stuff matches up, so far. Leave it at that. I'm a bit older than you and did date a bit after my exW and I split up a few years back and TBH I did none of this detective stuff. To me, life's too short to invest it into figuring out the lives of strangers. Are there bad people out there? Yes! Met a lot of strangers in my lifetime and only an infinitesimal amount of them ever approached 'bad'. Use your people skills in person and make your decisions clearly and decisively, in person. Above all, go into the date with a positive attitude. Dating is supposed to be fun, right? 1
Gloria25 Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Ok Gaeta, you almost got me with that thread title... But nah, I don't see an issue here and don't believe you should mention it to him...
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 I think the only red flag was that you let him see that you checked his CT profile. He's gonna think that was weird and might second guess you. 1
Author Gaeta Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 Was it on Match.com? We're on POF
Author Gaeta Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 Thank you all. I had a WTH moment when I saw the second profile but you are right, it's normal for a man living in 2 cities to do this. I will not bring it up. After I viewed his CT profile he did not mention anything. He wrote that his schedule scares women away on both side of the border. He gave me his schedule, among other months he spends from June to September here in Montreal but exceptionally this year he's already settled in CT till November gggrr! If you were in this situation wouldn't you hide your profile after you left the city.
FitChick Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Sometimes you see two profiles, the same or slightly different, because the person has joined two different sites not knowing they are owned by the same company. Your profile is seen across all the dating sites they own but you can only use the one you've subscribed to as a portal to send and receive messages. No problem since you still have full access to the total database of members and they to you. Then join the cheapest site of the group.
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