macman89 Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I am on day 3 of NC basically was used by my ex of 2 years. I am trying to get through this phase but I am just so frustrated and angry I can't focus at work and my emotions are all over the place. One minute I am happy to be moving on next minute sad, then angry etc. I deleted there number and blocked them on social media so I don't see any of there pictures, I just need help does this get better after the first few days? And are these emotions normal I know I will be stronger after it just so hard now to know I was dumped and used.. This also has affected my confidence to meet other women as I just am not myself so I really want to meet the right one.. Support needed for those in the early stages of recovery
Author macman89 Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 My emotions are also all over the place this is normal right? one minute I want to cry next minute I want to punch my pillows etc… Also I know we just set ourselves back if we try to bump into them in public or look at there online accounts right only way to move on is to not check and keep saying it is over with what I am doing now
Keepsake Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 My emotions are also all over the place this is normal right? one minute I want to cry next minute I want to punch my pillows etc… Also I know we just set ourselves back if we try to bump into them in public or look at there online accounts right only way to move on is to not check and keep saying it is over with what I am doing now It is normal to feel like that, I am in the same boat right now. I have to try to keep myself busy and even then my mind turns to him and the fact that I want call him and let him know what I think of him. Try to keep yourself busy otherwise it will consume you. Also, DO NOT LOOK AT SOCIAL MEDIA, I did this it will set you even further back. As much as you think you want to know. YOU DON'T. Keep posting, it helps me when I have the urge and the people on here are great.... 1
Reels Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I don't know if it is going to help that you blocked on Social Media, you could just take some break from it. What you have to do is, you have to find that why break up was right thing.
Author macman89 Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 That is my goal! whenever I get the urge to check on them or something on social media I will just post in here and keep the support coming in! I also talk to my mom daily now and she helps see right now I feel happy that it is over but then just before I was angry and sad.. My emotions are all over the place and reasons it wouldn't work is ton of things like distance and such. I also am the type of guy who enjoys being single anyways there just always seems to be that one that you have trouble getting over but after a couple weeks of NC no checking online stuff I know I will be better.. Just need to slowly get my confidence back since it takes a hit when your dumped we know this
Keepsake Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 That is my goal! whenever I get the urge to check on them or something on social media I will just post in here and keep the support coming in! I also talk to my mom daily now and she helps see right now I feel happy that it is over but then just before I was angry and sad.. My emotions are all over the place and reasons it wouldn't work is ton of things like distance and such. I also am the type of guy who enjoys being single anyways there just always seems to be that one that you have trouble getting over but after a couple weeks of NC no checking online stuff I know I will be better.. Just need to slowly get my confidence back since it takes a hit when your dumped we know this Yes, confidence does take a hit. " The way people treat you, is a statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you".
me85 Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 (edited) Hugs to you!! Yes yes yes...your mood swings and feelings are very normal. Do not beat yourself up or think it will never get better because it most certainly will! Heck, I'm dating myself. The last thing I need is a RS right now. It's my time down here!! (Goonies reference) I've battled (and still battle) the memories and the pain of my last BU. The only thing I can tell you to do is come here and vent vent vent and vent some more until it's completely out of your system. Friends and family were tired of hearing me whine about my ex so I spared them by turning to LS. Now I rarely ever speak of my ex to anyone IRL. You may want to consider coming here instead of continuing on and on with friends and family. Up to you. I'm fully aware that as long as I'm not talking about it, I'm much better off. So that's what I do now. Well, except for the occasional setback like today /= Remember, we all have to work and pay our bills and we all have friends and family who's needs we cannot neglect. Making someone else's problem your own and trying to help fix it is an excellent way to distract yourself. You forget about all your own misery and you can actually serve others! Edited September 9, 2014 by me85
Author macman89 Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 Thanks for the reply! always helps to have support on this forum lol anyways feeling better today not as "angry" as I was the last couple days.. One thing I have noticed is when I see women in general I am really getting aggressive where I am smiling and talking to them about anything. Almost like I am craving attention of females more than doing work or other productive stuff. This is normal I think for the first couple weeks since I lost that connection but I also think it can be a good sign because I am telling my subconscious brain it is finally over and it is looking around for other females to talk to..I consider it a step in the right direction! What do you guys thinK? Thanks for the help!
Author macman89 Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 What I am trying to say instead of sitting around wondering why I got dumped or rejected or "hoping" "stalking" getting angry at them, feeling bad for myself etc. i think I am doing well today because I am accepting it and making strides towards other females and accepting it is over! lol just want to clarify still looking for thoughts and opinions
johnson_j Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Look man don't be out chasing other women. Now if your time to heal. Forget that girl, she used you but now that you know the truth, any further setbacks are on YOU. Just work on forgiving her, doesn't mean you have to take her back or even be her friend, but drop her and forgive her in your heart.
Author macman89 Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 (edited) Yeah know I am definitely working on me, but doesn't that help to basically go out and talk to other women so I can feel that connection again? Instead of sitting around seeing what my ex is doing etc I would think it is a good thing because I am telling myself it is over and done. Some people will sit around and hope for chances and such but I am not doing that. I have a book that you have to KILL THE HOPE completely so every time I think of her and what we had etc. Basically say NO it is over and done. Convincing my mind. I also doesn't mean I am going to be hooking up with them or anything it is just nice to have other females who show interest when your dumped is all I mean Edited September 10, 2014 by macman89
johnson_j Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Yeah know I am definitely working on me, but doesn't that help to basically go out and talk to other women so I can feel that connection again? Instead of sitting around seeing what my ex is doing etc I would think it is a good thing because I am telling myself it is over and done. Some people will sit around and hope for chances and such but I am not doing that. I have a book that you have to KILL THE HOPE completely so every time I think of her and what we had etc. Basically say NO it is over and done. Convincing my mind. I also doesn't mean I am going to be hooking up with them or anything it is just nice to have other females who show interest when your dumped is all I mean No and NO. In turn, you are using those girls. That's what your EX did to you, right? You want to turn around and use someone else now? Just focus on being yourself and alone. Don't drag a poor innocent girl into your current mess.
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