Hanover Fiste Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 Hi all. I found this place after doing a Google search for this very topic but wanted more personalized input. I met this woman online and we went out a few times and dated for about one month. We had sex only once. We were enjoying our dates. She lives about 60 miles away from me. After we met up for the first time, I was really concerned that it took me 2 and 1/2 hours to get home because we live near a big city and rush hour traffic can be horrible. It took this long despite us meeting up about 15 miles closer to me. It only takes about an hour drive on weekends. I guess she could sense that I was turned off by the long drive so she volunteered to drive to my town for the next 3 dates but I kind of dreaded the day that I would have to drive out to her again. We sort of met halfway the next time. I didn't want to lead her on because my two previous relationships required about a hour and a half drive each and I was just burned out on dating since I had recently broken off a short, fast fling with another woman right before we started dating. We had a date setup almost two months ago but I called her to cancel it because I told her that I was really looking for someone closer (somehow she showed up in my match despite the distance restriction I put on the dating website) and that I realized that I wasn't ready to date at that time. She took it well. I texted her about 5 and a half weeks ago to ask how she was doing. She took a day to reply but said was doing okay and asked me how I was. I told her I was doing fine and that was the last I have heard from her. It has been almost two months ago since we have last seen each other and I feel that I am ready to date again. Since we were having a good time together and liked each other I would like to give it another shot despite the distance. I just wanted to bounce this off some others to get some input on how to go about it. I know this will be awkward for her since I broke it off with her.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 well, it seems like you can email, and start again... depending on her trust in you. some may come back without a hitch, and others will look at it as you now can afford the time to see me, well prove it! So be prepared to work a little extra for her to lighten up on you. If you are willing to not chicken out, then give it your best shot. or i'll kick your lilly white bahookie for failing again!!!
mightycpa Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 Hi all. I found this place after doing a Google search for this very topic but wanted more personalized input. I met this woman online and we went out a few times and dated for about one month. We had sex only once. We were enjoying our dates. She lives about 60 miles away from me. After we met up for the first time, I was really concerned that it took me 2 and 1/2 hours to get home because we live near a big city and rush hour traffic can be horrible. It took this long despite us meeting up about 15 miles closer to me. It only takes about an hour drive on weekends. I guess she could sense that I was turned off by the long drive so she volunteered to drive to my town for the next 3 dates but I kind of dreaded the day that I would have to drive out to her again. We sort of met halfway the next time. I didn't want to lead her on because my two previous relationships required about a hour and a half drive each and I was just burned out on dating since I had recently broken off a short, fast fling with another woman right before we started dating. We had a date setup almost two months ago but I called her to cancel it because I told her that I was really looking for someone closer (somehow she showed up in my match despite the distance restriction I put on the dating website) and that I realized that I wasn't ready to date at that time. She took it well. I texted her about 5 and a half weeks ago to ask how she was doing. She took a day to reply but said was doing okay and asked me how I was. I told her I was doing fine and that was the last I have heard from her. It has been almost two months ago since we have last seen each other and I feel that I am ready to date again. Since we were having a good time together and liked each other I would like to give it another shot despite the distance. I just wanted to bounce this off some others to get some input on how to go about it. I know this will be awkward for her since I broke it off with her. Your objection to the distance is reasonable... but why do you think it will be any easier now, heading into winter? Is your town so small that there aren't enough eligible women within 15 - 30 minutes? That's one of those objections that just doesn't change very easily.
Author Hanover Fiste Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 I do live in a small town. Once I kind of had time to focus on some personal things including considering it is not easy finding someone you just click with, I decided it was worth another shot.
mightycpa Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 ah, the old cost-benefit formula. All of a sudden, 90 minutes seems more do-able, because there's nobody closer. I get it. I still think you won't like it in the long run.
HappyLove Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Wow, so you went out with this woman had sex with her then dumped her because you didn't feel like she was worth driving to see her even though she was kind and fair enough to drive and meet you. Really I think what happened was you thought you could do better now realize you can't. If she has two brain cells to rub together she wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. 3
Author Hanover Fiste Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 Wow, so you went out with this woman had sex with her then dumped her because you didn't feel like she was worth driving to see her even though she was kind and fair enough to drive and meet you. Really I think what happened was you thought you could do better now realize you can't. If she has two brain cells to rub together she wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. Simma down now. You are pretty quick to jump to judgement with very limited story. Look how you just jumped around with speculation in your response. FYI, that is not nearly how it happened and I won't discuss any more detail since I can tell this is probably is your job around here. Any more detail provided will for surely be twisted to flex God like judgement. It was a really good, respectable, amicable experience between her and at all times. Is it so hard to simply ask someone for more detail before striking your gavel down? What if I hid the fact that she was going through a nasty divorce so any advice would not be sidetracked by this? What if I told you I was being treated for depression or I just had major death in my family? What if I told you we had sex after I told her I wasn't ready at the moment to date any more and she was the one who pursued it? What if I told you that although I live in a small town it is only 20 minutes away from a city with well over 1 million people? Well my good news has been spoiled by the dating police but after my last post, I went to the gym and as I was working out, I heard a beep from my phone alerting me to a new text. It was her. She said she was in my area and was thinking about me. I asked her out for this weekend and she accepted it. So we are going out this weekend. I wanted to share my excitement and love from the universe with those who tried to offer me good, nonjudgemental advice without standing up on a pedestal but Buzz Killington took that away from me. Thanks.
HappyLove Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Simma down now. You are pretty quick to jump to judgement with very limited story. Look how you just jumped around with speculation in your response. FYI, that is not nearly how it happened and I won't discuss any more detail since I can tell this is probably is your job around here. Any more detail provided will for surely be twisted to flex God like judgement. It was a really good, respectable, amicable experience between her and at all times. Is it so hard to simply ask someone for more detail before striking your gavel down? What if I hid the fact that she was going through a nasty divorce so any advice would not be sidetracked by this? What if I told you I was being treated for depression or I just had major death in my family? What if I told you we had sex after I told her I wasn't ready at the moment to date any more and she was the one who pursued it? What if I told you that although I live in a small town it is only 20 minutes away from a city with well over 1 million people? Well my good news has been spoiled by the dating police but after my last post, I went to the gym and as I was working out, I heard a beep from my phone alerting me to a new text. It was her. She said she was in my area and was thinking about me. I asked her out for this weekend and she accepted it. So we are going out this weekend. I wanted to share my excitement and love from the universe with those who tried to offer me good, nonjudgemental advice without standing up on a pedestal but Buzz Killington took that away from me. Thanks. Wow, what are the odds of that. After months of no contact she texts you, you should play the lotto tonight! Well good for you she doesn't have those two cells. Don't really know your reasons for saying you weren't interested because you wanted someone closer but it was really because of possible divorces depressions and other stuff. I really do hope it works out!
mightycpa Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 What if I told you that although I live in a small town it is only 20 minutes away from a city with well over 1 million people? Well, I, for one, would refer you back to my earlier question: Is your town so small that there aren't enough eligible women within 15 - 30 minutes? That base has been covered, and it does change the complexion of your story somewhat. No matter to me, I'm just sayin'.
Author Hanover Fiste Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 Wow, what are the odds of that. After months of no contact she texts you, you should play the lotto tonight! Well good for you she doesn't have those two cells. Don't really know your reasons for saying you weren't interested because you wanted someone closer but it was really because of possible divorces depressions and other stuff. I really do hope it works out! Thank you. I appreciate it. No hard feelings about the earlier stuff. It really was a good experience between her and I. There was no negativity tied to our time together. I know it sound like BS and I was fully aware of the fact that if I came back to make a post saying she just texted me out of the blue just after I posted about her on some website, it would be called BS. What can I say, it happened. All I know is I am glad she did and I feel very lucky right now. At first I thought it was because I called her earlier that day and she was just texting me back as a reply but when I called her it went straight to voicemail. From what I understand about cellphone voicemail, when you call and it goes directly to voicemail, it doesn't register on the person's call log since the phone is usually powered off or the person is not in a service area. I didn't leave a message and just thought I would call her again in the evening and if I had to leave a message at that time I would since two calls with no message would probably start to look creepy. When she texted, she did not even refer to the call. She said she was just thinking about me since she was in my area. I told her that I had called her earlier and she apologized for missing the call and said that her battery had run down so she didn't get the call. So her text to me and me calling her about 2 hours beforehand was purely coincidence. I don't think she would lie about it. She gladly accepted my invitation to dinner. I am just happy.
Author Hanover Fiste Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 Well, I, for one, would refer you back to my earlier question: That base has been covered, and it does change the complexion of your story somewhat. No matter to me, I'm just sayin'. My aim was to answer your question without going into too much detail. I simply replied that I live in a small town. I have been a member of a particular forum on the web for almost 20 years. I love the forum since it truly has some of the wittiest members who make some of the most LOL posts I have ever seen on the net. The down side is these witty posts are often derogatory comments to fellow members so I have learned over the past 20 years that when you post on a forum for help, try to provide as little information as possible to get your question answered while avoiding an attack from fellow members. I called myself doing that here but it is just impossible to do some time do to the nature of the set up. I usually just ignore it but I was so excited when she texted me yesterday and couldn't wait to get back home to post about it.
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