terlaughs Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 Hi everyone, I'm on 3 weeks NC... I dated this guy who is a friend of a friend for the summer. Initially, he was very shy.. I've known him for a while, we play rec sports together. My friend raved about him, and even warned me not to hurt him because he has never had a gf before, whereas I date a lot.. He's 33, I'm 30. He's kind of a loner, not many friends except family friends, I'm very bubbly and outgoing... lots of friends.. Initially he came on very strong and my friend said to go with it, that he would never hurt me. Sex-wise.. he didn't seem too experienced.. he had major ED/would climax instantaneously, but I liked him.. so it didn't bother me a ton. I met his family, but waited on bringing him around mine. He invited me to Europe with mutual friends over the summer, but I held off.. seemed too soon to commit to that. Anyway, by the time the trip came around I knew I'd miss him and initiated seeing him when I could, because I knew he'd be busy.. By that time I had been more open about how he could be less shy with me because I was really interested.. He kind of asked me to teach him how to be in a way/tell him if ever I needed to talk.. Well anytime we'd talk he'd get really weird and go silent on me.. (over things like communicating feelings, making plans, nothing major). We got along very well.. Never fought in person, but his weird defense/lack of empathy/stubbornness coupled with my stubbornness and need to say what's on my mind led to disagreements via phone/text. I went on vaca with my mom when he got back from his trip, so we were apart for 2 weeks at one point and only communicated via text. The 1 day between trips I was hoping to see him, but his way of inviting me over was to say "you can come by if you want to.". Of course, I was offended.. figured he'd be more excited. I still brought him a souvenir home, he didn't for me.. but didn't call while on trip, felt he was kind of rude and cold prior to me going... Ultimately I felt he was more pessimistic.. I would've continued to see him because he was a really good guy(or so I thought), but my friend mentioned he was telling her he was having doubts.. So, we talked and we split.. amicably.. he said he still wanted to see me but the doubts would eat at him?! So I just said forget it... He def. is not seeing anyone else or other people.. Any thoughts? Just lost interest or something more to it...? I've been told doubts are normal.. why would someone who never dates pass up a great girl that he at one point was crazy about?
Strength in Healing Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 You've listed most of the reasons why at 33 he has never had a relationship.
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