She wants me in her life

[ConfusedGuy93]

So I've been talking to a girl for about 10 months now, we started dating after 8 months of talking. At the point in being discharged and she ends it all. 2 weeks later finds another guy who she thought she loved, I asked her why she replys "it just kind of happened, he was here and I didn't know when you were actually getting back." So we stop talking and I tell her ill be in town for a bit. When I get into town she immediately wants to see me, I tell her I can't because I'm afraid of what I might say or do. She didn't care she just wanted to see me, since we talked for 8 months and I told her that I loved her and I really thought she was the one. I end up going out with her and her friend that night and everything went fine. Leave town for a few weeks for travel and while I'm out of state I get a phone call from her crying saying she ****ed, that she think he's cheating on her and that she wanted me back. Being the big hearted guy I am I tell her that she needs to end it if its nit going well. About three days later she did and we kept talking like we use to, when I get back in town, I take her on the date I promised her when I was over seas and everything went great. A week later I asked her to be my girlfriend and a week after that she tells me that she thinks we rushed into it and that she wasn't ready yet for a relationship. I understood and I kind of felt the same way, due to her attitude when I would try and do things with her. I go off to college and she's becoming more distant a text every so often and going out drinking for three days. Im afraid of losing her again and afraid that she's going to end up in a bad spot in life that's not going to end well. I've told her how much she means to me and ill randomly get text from her about her missing and that she loves me and the next day ill get nothing. I just don't know what to do with her anymore I am truly in love with this girl she to perfect for me. I don't know what to do any more, she's the only thing I think about, even during these college parties and girls dressed like easy individuals.

[mightycpa]

she wasn't ready yet for a relationship

 

This was half of the truth. The part she left out was

 

with you

 

I'm so sorry. Stop wasting your time with this one.

 

 

 

I read this way of saying it today from another poster. She got it exactly right. Kudos to her.

[Strength in Healing]

If this psycho is perfect for you, I'd get evaluated by a psychologist. You should be running as fast as you can, and only looking back to make sure that this filthy beast is nowhere in sight.

[hoping2heal]

Oh.For.The.Love.Of.Pete

 

Where do I begin...where do I even begin...

 

Okay, first let's address her little "whoopsie daisy". I have said this prior in other threads - no one just "accidentally" falls in love. It is not like I walk down the street and exhange pleasantries with a man and next thing I know, against my will there I am..in love! No, no, no, and NO. A person makes an active, conscious choice whether or not they will be emotionally OPEN to further developing and nuturing feelings for another person. She said it herself - she did not know when you were getting back. That was apparently all she needed to go on as far as opening herself up to be with another man. This is a flaw that is going to go deep to the root and boy I sure hope you're into daycare, because you will have to babysit this woman to keep her faithful.

 

Secondly, do not say you are big hearted just because you are desperate enough to be "that guy" and actually let her back just because things aren't going how she wanted, with the guy she REALLY, truly, actually wants to be with (which isn't you).

 

She is perfect for you?...Uh....Uh....Uh...No? A girl like that is not perfect for anyone because she's selfish, emotionally immature, unable to honor her commitments and a big fat paddy whack USER.

[evanescentworld]

Can't put it any better than the above three posters have. Except to say you need to visit your doctor because your head needs examining.

Run, please, now, and never, ever look back.

[d0nnivain]

Saying she wants you in her life is a round about way of saying I want to be friends, in different words. At best she wants to keep you dancing on a string. At no point did she truly reciprocate your feelings. She simply liked the attention.

 

She is actually not a nice person. Remind yourself of that when other nicer girls who aren't playing games with your feelings are hitting on you at these college parties.

[lauri]

Want to know what I do to girls like this?

 

I delete their number and remove all contact with them. What are you afraid of losing? A girl who is selfish and throws you into the friend zone?

 

Save your time for a girl who is actually worth it. Never waste your time trying to pursue a girl who isn't interested in you.

 

Take some lessons from this

 

1) Don't rush into things with women, it scares them. Asking her to be your girlfriend that quickly means you are too hungry to keep her. You should be acting like you have 15 girls chasing you (even though it may not be true)

 

2) You shouldn't be afraid to be yourself and losing her. If you are, that girl doesn't make you comfortable and she probably picks up on this. Its far far too early to be worried about losing her - your mentality should be if she doesn't want you its her loss, not yours. You should be confident enough to think that no girl will ever leave you...if shes making you feel insecure she isn't right for you.

 

3) Going for a taken girl - never ever do it. Its hypocritical because I can promise you that you wouldn't want other dudes going after your girlfriend...there is so many single girls out there that I do not understand why guys go for taken chicks.

 

4) She is distant because you are too hungry / seem too clingy. You need to work on yourself confidence and learn how to control your emotions if she is backing off. Worst thing you can do is text her romantically and try to lure her back in.