Te_amo Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 Its like the law right? Whatever (or whoever) you do, you don't fall for your best friends boyfriend! Break this sacred vow and your a bitch so high on the scale you make Cruella Deville look like an angel. Except that's not me, I'm not a bad person, I've just fallen head over heels for the wrong guy! I've known my friend since i moved to the area and started working at out company 2 years ago, when we were both 22. I knew she had a long term boyfriend and they had a 3yr old, & 2yr old, I even saw pictures of her boyfriend at met him briefly and noted that he was a extremely attractive man (no less than I would expect the guy on her arm to be) but I wasn't fazed - i don't fall for guys easily, it certainly takes more that looks. Now circumstances have changed, he's setting up his own business so doing some temp work at our company whilst in the process - working specifically supporting me. Thats where it gets messy, urgh, one look, one hand on my shoulder, and every time he says my name and god I want him. He is my perfect guy for a whole host of reasons that dont even matter because he's not available and THIS. IS. NOT. ME! this is not what i do! I'm a good friend, a loyal friend, i'm not a homewreaker!!! When did my life turn into some trashy teen soap!! To make one thing clear I'm not going to do anything about it! I wouldn't do that to her or to their sons and he loves her anyway. But what do I do? Hoe can I maintain this friendship when seeing hims killing me! When he's not there its like old times but now we work together my friend seems to think that we might as well meet up with him as well rather than just me and her...and he thinks we're all buddy-buddy so it would seem weird to say no. Im doing my nut trying to not let it show - don't make too much eye contact when we're in a group, don't stare at his body when he changes his t-shirt, hold my tongue and just nod when the other girls mention how "hot" he is but that "the David Beckham factor" (meaning his voice) ruins it. . . . . . . . . . . . which for the record it absolutely doesnt!! - Urgh shoot me!
evanescentworld Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 You know the best cure ever? The real nail in the coffin to this crush/infatuation? Tell her. Open up and confess. I guarantee your feelings will change overnight. once she knows, once she is aware, because she is in the loop, the barely-simmering secret desire will very soon wear off. When it's out in the open, your sentiments will change. (*you're*) 1
Author Te_amo Posted September 8, 2014 Author Posted September 8, 2014 You know the best cure ever? The real nail in the coffin to this crush/infatuation? Tell her. Open up and confess. I guarantee your feelings will change overnight. once she knows, once she is aware, because she is in the loop, the barely-simmering secret desire will very soon wear off. When it's out in the open, your sentiments will change. (*you're*) Ah but how can I do that though!? "Y'know your boyfriend of 8 years, the father of your children, the one I work practically one on one with 3x a weeks, yeah god help me I'm crazy for him". However I put that she's gonna hate me! I'm meant to be her best friend, I'm meant to have her back not my eye on her fella! I can't do it to her! Haha you're
evanescentworld Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 Well what would you rather do? be completely honest with your best friend, be upfront and respect her enough to want her to understand your predicament, or frankly, lie to her by omission? Whatever happens, the dynamics of this relationship HAS changed. It has. You HAVE developped feelings for HER man. You can never really see her, or him, in the same light again. Something's got to give. And I hate to tell you, but if matters carry on as they are, and he gets an inkling of this, there is a chance you guys will give in to your feelings and stray into the forbidden territory that is cheating, lying and subterfuge. Then, it's really over. Please don't say it can never happen. Because too many threads on this forum are bare-faced evidence to the contrary. The minute someone says "I guarantee nothing's going to happen" you can pretty much guarantee that at the drop of a hat, with the right signals, something damn well is....
Author Te_amo Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 Well what would you rather do? be completely honest with your best friend, be upfront and respect her enough to want her to understand your predicament, or frankly, lie to her by omission? Whatever happens, the dynamics of this relationship HAS changed. It has. You HAVE developped feelings for HER man. You can never really see her, or him, in the same light again. Something's got to give. And I hate to tell you, but if matters carry on as they are, and he gets an inkling of this, there is a chance you guys will give in to your feelings and stray into the forbidden territory that is cheating, lying and subterfuge. Then, it's really over. Please don't say it can never happen. Because too many threads on this forum are bare-faced evidence to the contrary. The minute someone says "I guarantee nothing's going to happen" you can pretty much guarantee that at the drop of a hat, with the right signals, something damn well is.... Yeah I do see the sense in that! But its hard to actually do.. Its, truth at what cost! This girl is like the sister I never had - i don't want to lose her! Nor do i want to leave my job and I don't know how i could continue to work there if all this blew up. Argh its all such a huge mess! I'm annoyed at myself, I didn't want to fall in love with him! Well yeah but even if my morals went out the window he wouldn't be interested! He is oh so in love with her! Literally worships the ground she walks on - hahah no I'm kidding, it's cute! And i know she's mad about him too, even if she doesn't show it - there a great couple, I don't wish them any trouble.
Giggle Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Honestly, I don't know the wife of my MM crush, but I've no desire to mess up their life either. You /are/ probably going to change jobs though. You could tell her in a lighthearted way maybe.. He's starting to look too much like Prince Charming, especially with you not having somebody.
Mary Oak Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 This happened to me. I was crazy about my friends long term gf. We did everything together and were "best friends". It was wonderful spending all the time with her and talking on the phone with her for Hours and hours. But..,. It was wrong. I couldn't help what I felt. I really thought she was the one for me. I ended up telling her and her gf, who was also my friend. I had to. My friend actually said "well, I can't blame you. She is pretty terrific ". And letting it out slowly allowed me to focus on other things and move on. It is really a compliment to your friend that she has such an awesome guy. I have also been in the position where my best friend liked my current gf. She was not so honest about it and now I hate her. Do what is best. Tell her. Be light hearted about it. But be honest. She deserves that. Tell her you know they are meant for each other but you have developed a crush and she is one lucky girl. I believe after you let it Out, your feelings will change.
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