My ex is contacting me

[anniek]

Hi I would like some advise from people who may have been in this situation. My bf broke things off with me because he thought we should both try to move on from a LDR that wasn't working. He said he still loved me and wanted to stay friends. I tried but couldn't do it, I still wanted a relationship. So about 2 weeks ago I started the no contact rule with the hope that he may miss me enough to want to try again. Well after about a week he started texting me asking how I was and if I wanted to catch up. I have been responding to his text messages but only after I wait about a 1/2 hour and have only been politely responding with..I'm sorry I'm busy maybe later. He has been texting me everyday and asking to talk. I guess what I want to know is if I should talk to him now or wait the recommended 3-4 weeks before I do. I'm afraid he might just get pissed off and stop wanting to talk to me.

[ErinKl]

If you want to try and rebuild this relationship, definitely talk to him and don't wait any longer. There is really no point in waiting more, unless you want to break up with him for good and get over your feelings to him asap.

[Chi townD]

Okay... you're not in NC (No Contact). Here's the deal. He made a choice and unfortunately, it wasn't you. He made the decision not to be with you anymore. Once he made that choice, he doesn't get to dictate what kind of relationship you have with him anymore.

 

 

Here's the rub. He's not your friend. I'm pretty sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with him for the end result being that you are nothing more than a "really good friend to him".

 

 

So, why is he bothering you? Could be he feels guilt about ending it. Could be that he wants to keep you around to fill that emotional need. But, trust me, he's on the lookout for your replacement. And once he finds her, he's going to kick you and this "friendship" right into the gutter.

[mightycpa]

Mistake #1 :

So about 2 weeks ago I started the no contact rule with the hope that he may miss me enough to want to try again

 

Mistake #2 :

I have been responding to his text messages

Mistake #3 :

I'm afraid he might just get pissed off and stop wanting to talk to me.

Question :

what I want to know is if I should talk to him now or wait

Answer : Don't contact him.

 

Why :

after about a week he started texting me asking how I was and if I wanted to catch up

Is this really what you want? To tell him how you are and to catch up? No, I doubt it. You want him to change his mind. You should wait until he tells you, with some desperation in his voice, that he's changed his mind.

 

Until he does, you should not respond at all, recommended time period be damned!

[evanescentworld]

Are you happy with this scenario:

 

Him: "Jump!"

 

You: "How high?"

 

If he just wants to touch base, see how you are, chat, pass the time with pleasantries and keep you dangling, then you are basically letting him do precisely what you told him you couldn't do: just be 'friends'.

 

You said no, but he's disregarding your wishes, disrespecting your broken heart and doing whatever he wants, because it makes HIM feel better.

Sod whatever you want, this is what he wants.

 

Oh, really.....?

 

Stop responding. Block him, and prevent him from being able to reach you.

Believe me when I tell you this: If he really, really, REALLY wants you back, he will go through hell and high water to do whatever it takes to reach you.

If he doesn't make that effort, then take it as read, he doesn't care enough about you to want to be with you; he just cares enough to make sure you are there as a stop-gap, an option, a soft place to fall....