Ugh! So, the guy at work that I don't like, gave me a compliment!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

If you were looking like a troll and sprayed her with a water gun, she'd be angry...give a guy like Ryan Gosling the gun and she'll open her arms to get drenched by him.

 

Oh, I'd be drenched if Ryan Gosling were nearby, whether he had a water gun or not . But I digress...

 

OP, a man paying you a compliment is not the worse thing in the world. He wasn't lecherous or rude nor did he chase you around the building. Let it go!

Edited September 12, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra

[d0nnivain]

I made a post about a security guard at work that apparently "likes" me. So, since everyone thought I was being rude by not greeting him, I decided to be civil and just greet him, and avoid small talk, so I have been just greeting him that's it. Well, today I said morning, and then he said, " you look nice" I said thanks and walked away to scan in through the door, didn't even look at him, then he said, "you don't have to be soo shy." I was like wtf??? Then he said "oh, you don't like compliments do you? I said not really. And was short. Geez! Now, he thinks I'm being shy. Why are some guys soo dumb? Hello!!!! I'm not interested!!!!!!! That's why I don't talk to you! Annoying. And is that even appropriate to say?

 

Being given a compliment is not harming you. Being kind to him is not harming you. Being mean to him & this upset about a simple compliment is harming you because you are wasting so much energy on this.

 

General politeness does not mean you are agreeing to date him.

 

Learn to accept a compliment graciously.

 

If you are kinder in general to people your world will improve.

 

His follow ups were inappropriate but had you just said thank you or even nodded, most likely they would not have happened.

 

In the future if you are confronted with a similar circumstance, try my technique: "I appreciate the compliment but that's as far as it goes." I have never had a man fail to back off after that but everybody keeps their dignity.

[AD1980]

As an unattractive man this is exactly why I don't approach women

[Natsu21]

As an unattractive man this is exactly why I don't approach women

 

Bingo.

 

Though I'm not really unattractive.

[Phoe]

What in the world?!

 

Please, rethink your attitude if you think someone should be tarred and feathered for saying you looked nice. A woman who has the right kind of attitude and mindset will accept a compliment gracefully. If someone compliments me on something, it makes my day. There's no need for a moment like that to escalate into a dramatic situation.

[Imported]

But if your crush shut off your planner, you wouldn't care.

 

Gotta love double standards.

 

So you're some glowing example of humanity? If a very unattractive girl that you absolutely want no part of keeps hounding on you and does presumptuous things like...walks up to you and grabs your phone out of your hands that you were texting on so you have to pay attention to her...that's OK?

 

Me personally, I don't love double standards. I don't even like em. But I doubt if the shoe were on the other foot, you'd be much better than most women.

 

Although, I gotta say....I think OP just wants attention.

[you_can_not_see_me]

its funny how the tone of the replies made a 180, first everyone was shaming the guy, now everyone is telling OP to chill.

[todreaminblue]

just take the compliment..... smile and say thank you ....if he says you are shy say not really...smile and walk away........be civil be nice if he says anything remotely condescending or overly sexually aggressive say i dont appreciate your comment....can we keep the comments courteous thank you.....walk away......

 

i have found if you ignore a guy ....who makes overly sexualised comments they become more so....uncompromising .....and arrogant....they chase you..putting a guy in his place can be done with decorum and grace......do it quick.....from the comments you have mentioned i dont get a sexualised innuendo...yet...

 

 

i get a guy who says hey you look nice.....not sexualised...nice...isnt sexualised....why do you find it offensive......saying hey i love your tits....or hey if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me......is sexualised...or move a little closer baby i love the way you smell......thats sexualised...when i have guys make sexualised comments to me ....i shut them down ...everything else i say thank you ....sweet of you to say.or what a nice comment.....whether i like them or not........then i go on with my

day.........deb

[Natsu21]

So you're some glowing example of humanity? If a very unattractive girl that you absolutely want no part of keeps hounding on you and does presumptuous things like...walks up to you and grabs your phone out of your hands that you were texting on so you have to pay attention to her...that's OK?

 

Me personally, I don't love double standards. I don't even like em. But I doubt if the shoe were on the other foot, you'd be much better than most women.

 

Although, I gotta say....I think OP just wants attention.

 

I tell a girl im not interested outright. If she continues her actions she's crossing a line and feelings WILL get hurt.

 

This all could have been avoided if she wasn't sending mixed signals.

 

TI'm not a glowing example of a human being, but if I let this carry on, it's because I like the attention. That's all.

 

It's not rocket science.

[preraph]

It's a problem because it's causing problems now with her stupid coworkers over something that shouldn't have happened because they shouldn't have been aiding and abetting him in coming on to women at work, which is unprofessional to begin with. You think she wants to get up every morning and deal with that? Isn't dealing with just work enough for what they pay you??

[gaius]

As an unattractive man this is exactly why I don't approach women

You don't like when a woman spends an inordinate amount of time talking about you?

 

She might hate what he's doing on some level but she likes it on another.