Unfortunately - nothing is working...

[Matelow]

Hey again guys!

 

Ill keep this as brief as possible. Got dumped after a 1.5 year LDR, hurt massively.

 

1st few weeks was in contact with her, no begging for her back or anything like that. Then NC. Contacted her once in May about something as what I thought she would laugh at, didn't, and then NC from then on. Had her on snapchat only for the last month (Added me, kept her on, because it was good seeing her) and blocked today.

 

So to get over her, I am doing everything you would tell me to do. Im working out a hell of a lot, being with my friends all the time, and I work 12-13 hrs a day Mon-Fri every day, so I am kept busy.

 

So why am I not getting over her? I think I am being pathetic, and am getting a bit ashamed with myself that it is getting to me so much. Every living moment is thought on her. So annoying, I just want it to end!

 

You can't tell me anything I don't know. I know I will find better, I know she is not worth a damn, etc. But can't shift the heartache after doing all the classic things you would tell me.

 

So - evidently I am at a loss! Is there anything else you can advise me on doing?

 

Don't know what this will thread will achieve, but I just needed to vent - sorry guys

[NC-Thomas]

Hey man!

 

Probably you've already heard this a 1000 times but it will pass with time. It's just biology doing its part, the chemicals (survival mechanisms) in your brain are just telling you that you miss her.

 

Also did you take time to grief? Are you coping with your emotions instead of just locking them up?

 

Distraction is good, but emotions tend to "want to get heard" if you know what i mean. Listen to them.

 

Keep doing NC and be mild to yourself, don't consider yourself pathetic. I have been 4 months NC and I still think of my ex everyday (2 year RS).

 

Good luck and keep venting here on LS. Thats were this forum is for!

[lop98]

question:

So why am I not getting over her?

 

answer...

and blocked today.

 

Is there anything else you can advise me on doing?

uh, YES, considering you just went back to 0 and only started your recovery today, have more discipline... stick to what you're doing but remember that's just support to your main action, which is REAL and firm No Contact... cutting the main source of pain so things start to work for you and you can actually heal.

[Matelow]

Truth is . she was probably seeing someone else while leading you on. I had that happen to me and it's worst. working on yourself is the very best thing you can do . So kudos to you for doing that but do it for you not for her' date=' sometimes we get so beat down that we put people on a pedastal they dont deserve.[/quote']

 

If you are talking about the snapchat thing - we never sent a direct snapchat to each other (if that makes sense) so she wasn't leading me on. Unless sending a picture of a yoghurt pot is the new way of flirting!

 

She has never lead me on at all actually - I sent her a final email saying not to contact me, and hope she that after a certain period of time we can be friends, but it won't happen if we get in touch. When I eventually do get over her fully, I wouldn't knock the possibility of a friendship as I know she is a genuinely nice person. Just wasn't so nice to me in the end!

 

Thanks for the support, its actually making me feel better talking to you guys.

[Zzyxx]

This is totally normal. I also feel like I'm not where I should be in the recovery process, but as long as you're doing everything that you can, that's all you can ask of yourself. Would talking to someone professionally help? Sometimes there are cognitive behaviorial things you can do, even though they never did much for me personally. Unfortunately these things can just take longer than usual sometimes, so just keep doing NC until whenever you feel ready to date again, and that may help things also.

[Haydn]

Know how you feel. No time limit to this. But any social media should be knocked on the head. (Really) Keep venting. Better out than in.