Can't get over her

[Grevensteiner]

I met a girl 2 months ago. I got my first kiss with her, currently we do kiss passionately on every date. We meet like 3-4 times a week. It's great.

 

Well, not really that great, it seems as if it doesn't mean ANYTHING AT ALL to her. She keeps calling some guy who lives 200km away, and talks with him pretty emotionally for a long time each day. Even when she's with me. She also drives to him for 3 days soon.

 

Yesterday while we were in a club she danced and was hugging with some random dude, me and her friend had to take her out of the club and drive her home.

 

Last Friday she met with someone and didn't want to tell where she was and what she was doing.

 

Right now she doesn't want to meet tomorrow and on Tuesday, because she prefers to drink alco in her place with I-don't-know-who.

 

----------------

 

The fact that she doesn't wanna meet because she "prefers drinking at her place"...that's one red flag too much for me. The problem is that I think about this girl all the time, she's really great, beautiful, nice to talk to. Yet I know she PROBABLY ****s other dudes in the meantime.

 

I want to breat contact, but it's really hard to do. We know each other for 2 months and I invested a lot of feelings in her. Not to mention that hope I still have for something more, that's eating me from the inside. That's the main problem I guess.

 

What should I do? How long does the pain lasts, after breaking the contact? Also, how should I break the contact? Just block her everywhere, delete her number, and suddenly stop contacting her? Or just tell her I don't wanna maintain such a relationship? I fear the latter would be final with no return.

 

I'm 21, she's 19. And she kind of told me she doesn't want to get too involved because she had bad relationship experiences.

Edited September 7, 2014 by Grevensteiner

[doeblin]

We know each other for 2 months and I invested a lot of feelings in her.

 

Did she ever say you were exclusive? If not, then that's it, you're not exclusive, so you too should behave that way. Go meet other women.

 

Don't block her or unfriend her, just don't initiate conversation for a while, like you had a separate romantic life that doesn't involve her. And then actually have a separate romantic life.

 

If she's really into you she will come: you showed enough interest already. You will look needy if you pursued this further. Chicks hate needy guys.

 

 

Also, the only thing you did was kissing? Maybe you should have escalated it further... seems like you missed the train.

 

Anyway... move on, dude.

Edited September 7, 2014 by doeblin

[evanescentworld]

Grevensteiner, she's what's commonly known as a player.

She has no intention of going out and being exclusive with one guy.

You're investing way too much in this because she's not reciprocating - and as stated, if you haven't had the 'exclusive' talk, there is no obligation for her to stick with you.

Sadly, it's all "in your head"....Commitment isn't commitment, and exclusive isn't exclusive when the sentiments are purely one-sided.

[Mrin]

This sounds like a classic case of "want what you can't have-itis". Don't worry dude - we've all been there. Reduce contact to a trickle and go out with other women.

[evanescentworld]

Mrin is referring to the OP, not to girls.....