l.k Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Does dumper really come back when they c that u have kind of moved on..?? If the relationship was good nd was long term do they realize it one day ?? If the dumper is avoiding and ignoring since the breakup will they ever realize what they had with the dumpee was worth saving.... if the dumper is single and is having a very good time ( having fun) with thr friends eventually realize what they have lost and regret it one day ??
Ordinaryday Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Absolutely not, and believing that they will come back will just give you false hope and delay you moving on. I NEVER heard from many of the dumpers again, NOTHING. Not a single peep from them since the day they dumped me. and even if they do contact you, 99/100 times the contact is meaningless anyway, designed to ease their guilt and not reconcile with you. a "hi how are you?" text message is not "I made a mistake dumping you. please take me back" no matter how many times you read it. it's best to just presume you will never hear from them again. 7
DontWakeMeUp Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 and even if they do contact you, 99/100 times the contact is meaningless anyway, designed to ease their guilt and not reconcile with you. a "hi how are you?" text message is not "I made a mistake dumping you. please take me back" no matter how many times you read it. Exactly this. You may hear from them, you may not-- if you do, it may just be to ease their conscience after breaking up with someone they presumably once cared about. 1
SoThatHappened Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 In my experience, they always come back. However, a breakup happened because the relationship... was broken. You absolutely need to be independent of the person and the relationship. You have to be. 1
Missy0724 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Yes, they will. They may say they want to, "be friends". This is a tough one. I believe if said, offered right away, it either means: 1. They really mean it, so that means they were over the romantic relationship WAY before break up...but stayed with you anyway. That doesn't feel too good to the dumpee; will feel used and there was dishonesty. This creates anger in the dumpee, so will not work. If dumpee still has romantic feelings, which is usually the case. 2. Ease their own guilt, know they hurt you, trying to lessen the blow. Just because the relationship is broken, doesn't mean they just stop caring. They are not "in love" anymore, but still care. They would be a sociopath if they didn't... 3. For their own ego, because maybe they don't have a lot of other friends. Or have not stayed friends with other exes, want the "title" of being "friends" with an ex, to prove to other people; family, ex wife or ex husband that they are "loveable" and OK, not "broken". To boost their own ego, self confidence, because they really are lacking in that department. As a dumper, it's not kind or fair to offer "friends" right away, to this person whose heart you just broke! SO selfish! I know it's so hard...but that person will have false hope, wonder if you want to be "friends" to start over, try again, begin as friends again. And just because we don't hear those words, we are still so LOVE DRUNK, we create it, believe it, in our own minds. We cannot, are not, thinking clearly at all! That is why it's respectful and kind to actually leave each other alone for a while. Live and learn... lol I believe "friends", TRUE friends can only occur after A LOT of time has passed. This is just common sense. There are just too many emotions, confusion, anger, unsettled feelings, romantic attachment still going on, for a while after break up. At least for one person. If break up mutual, deep feelings did not develop, than of course! I have moved right to friendship with a few men, after OLD. We both discovered there was no romantic spark, but we connected as friends. So we have remained casual friends who text, go out for a beer every now and then. Talk about our relationships, life, divorces, kids, etc. It's a good thing...
infamousma Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 IT all depends man, we are all different in how we handle our situations and every girl is different too. I had a messy breakup with my last ex who cheated on me but for some reason in my head I kept after it and believed. We did eventually get back together, it was a slow process but it happened. With my ex now, I cant really say but only time will tell and she is young. I'm not a person who gives up easily and if I like something then I go for it. Just take this time to heal yourself and improve on whatever it was that made you guys break up. I for one make a list of the reasons that I was told and look at this list everyday to remind myself what to fix and work on.
W101 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 It really depends on the kind of relationship and how and why the break up occurred in the first place, even if the relationship was 100% perfect, there's still no guarantee an ex will return, I think it all depends on the ex's mindset at the time of wanting to reconcile, there's no yes or no answer to this question, only a maybe, to me, a maybe isn't a good enough reason to sit around asking yourself this and waiting around hoping an ex will return, that'll only serve to prolong the time it takes to emotionally heal from the breakup. In my experience, I don't think about it, I don't wonder about what an ex is up to, who she's seeing, doing, etc, there's just no good reason to, chances are the ex is in that very same mindset, breaking up with anyone you've invested love with for a long period of time is a hard choice to make, why would someone go back on that?, unless the breakup was a heated one and came from something like that. Before I met my ex, she was seeing a guy for something like 4/5 years, she was sad for a few weeks but mostly relieved to be away from the relationship, fast forward a month, she didn't care at all, it was like he never even existed, all those years together, all those times to remember, all that love they made, oh the fun they had, washed down the drain like yesterdays bad hotdog, I'm sure he hoped, wished, prayed to god and cried his heart out, I'm sure now he wishes didn't, you see where I'm going with this? My advice, don't think about the possibility the ex will return, if it happens, great, if not the exes loss.
organizedchaos Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Does dumper really come back when they c that u have kind of moved on..?? If the relationship was good nd was long term do they realize it one day ?? If the dumper is avoiding and ignoring since the breakup will they ever realize what they had with the dumpee was worth saving.... if the dumper is single and is having a very good time ( having fun) with thr friends eventually realize what they have lost and regret it one day ?? Don't know, don't care. It's been a little over a year since I was dumped after 3 years together. I was great to her. She never came back. I have a new girlfriend now and no idea what she is up to. Her loss! Just move on and forget about what the ex will or will not do. 1
mightycpa Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 No. No telling which kind you have either, the coming back kind, or the staying away kind. Only time will tell. Either way, one thing is certain. What you're fantasizing about is so rare, that of all the people who have broken up on this site, there may be one or maybe even two where it worked out in the end, but probably no more than that. The chances that it will happen for you? Practically zero, in my opinion. I don't mean to be harsh, but don't hang your hopes on that happening one day. Assume it won't, and you'll do yourself a favor. Look forward in your life, not backwards. It's a big world, with great people. Don't cheat yourself out of what lies ahead.
Author l.k Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 My sutuation is.. Had a 4 yr true love relatnship (3 yrs were long distance)... She broke up 7 months ago (i chased for first 3 months she was all cold then went nc for 4 months) coz she wanted to exprience bew college life with new frnds... Started partying drinking and stuff and in between nc period i also came to know that she has logged into my fb account nd is has stated stalking nd few days after she texted me "do u have a girlfriend ?" And i ingnored this message she contacted me once asking "do u have a girlfriend" to which i ignores this msge... Then yesterday i broke nc cz i was missing her like hell nd cared about her... Me- hii.. Hope u r doing fine She- sup Me- nthing much u say She- u want somthing ? Me- no She- ok then ? Me- cant i even text u ? She ignored this message Then i sent a last msge saying that i just want to c her happy and i will not bother her again She blocked me on whatsapp after reading this message I mean i dint even abuse her or tortured her... I cared and sent a friendly message... Why did she block me... She alwyas said she will never block me.... I love her allot... It was the truest love any1 could ever experience.. I know the only option i m left with now is to move further in life.... But part of me will always love her... Will she ever realize wt she has lost... Will she ever come back atleast to know how i m... ??
mightycpa Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 It was the truest love any1 could ever experience Gee, and I thought my lost love and I had the truest love anyone can experience. Go figure! I don't mean to make light of your feelings, but just about everybody on this board has felt exactly like that. You're that the beginning of a road so many of us have traveled. You'll figure out at some point that yours wasn't special, it was just like the ones the rest of us had. Emphasis on the "HAD". 1
somedude81 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 My ex dumped me and I haven't seen her in nine months. Not once has she initiated contact. She replied to me for a while, but the last time was many months ago.
Jord11 Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 I've been in nc for almost 2 years, she broke up with me and left haven't said a word since, sometimes they don't come back and I won't talk to her again unless she initiates it 1
Sugarkane Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 If they do, I haven't heard from dumpers even years later. And I didn't lie, cheat or treat anyone poorly. 1
SLK11 Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 My ex came back after a month in a half and 16 days no contact to apologize I shouldn't of called her back but I did. It was all just hot air coming out her mouth. Needless to say I told her to go kick rocks and now back to NC. Who cares if they come back they are not worth ur time.
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