awakened1 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I have a complicated situation that I cannot wrap my head around. I have read great advice on these forums in the past which is why I decided to share. I am currently in a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. In fact it doesn't even feel like a relationship anymore. We have been together for 5 yrs and the last year or so has been a complete mess. We were having issues around this time last year and she decided she wanted to end things. I was crushed. I really loved her and it took me to a very low point in my life. These forums really helped me through to be honest. Within two weeks of us breaking up she already had a new man. I believe she left me for him even though she will not admit to it. I guess after the grass is greener syndrome wore off she came crawling back to me. I loved her and wanted us to work out so I decided to give her another chance. I don't know if I have completely forgave/got over what she did. I am to the point now where Idk if I really want to continue things. Now on to the complicated part of my story...I was sitting at my desk at work about a month ago when something told me to look to my right. When I did I locked eyes with the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever stared in to. Over the next few weeks the glancing back and forth continued. She didn't work in my department so I wasn't able to speak to her and didn't really know if that was the right thing to do anyway since I am in a relationship but something was just telling me she was right for me. Everything about her seemed so right. After working the same shift for 2yrs my boss one day decided he was going to start me on an earlier shift. When sitting in the break room one day, in she came. My heart began beating through my chest. I never get nervous in front of women, why now? We made small talk and I loved every sec. of it. She was so down to earth. These talks have continued over the past few weeks. We both laugh together and just seem to click. She did mention a bf she has but I can just tell by the way she looks at me that she feels it to. Maybe I am just wishful thinking who knows. I haven't made any advances because I feel thats wrong to do due to my situation and hers but at the same time I feel like this is something I should not let pass me by. I've never been so strongly attracted to a girl I don't even really know.
Jules Dash Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Curb you enthusiasm. You don't want to be making a post 6 weeks from now detailing how you thought she was the one but broke your heart when she decided to stick with her boyfriend. Maybe her boyfriend has not been giving her enough attention lately and the staring down you give her make her feel special briefly. Sometimes a twinkle in their eye is just a twinkle in their eye.
Mangina Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I have a complicated situation that I cannot wrap my head around. I have read great advice on these forums in the past which is why I decided to share. I am currently in a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. In fact it doesn't even feel like a relationship anymore. We have been together for 5 yrs and the last year or so has been a complete mess. We were having issues around this time last year and she decided she wanted to end things. I was crushed. I really loved her and it took me to a very low point in my life. These forums really helped me through to be honest. Within two weeks of us breaking up she already had a new man. I believe she left me for him even though she will not admit to it. I guess after the grass is greener syndrome wore off she came crawling back to me. I loved her and wanted us to work out so I decided to give her another chance. I don't know if I have completely forgave/got over what she did. I am to the point now where Idk if I really want to continue things. Now on to the complicated part of my story...I was sitting at my desk at work about a month ago when something told me to look to my right. When I did I locked eyes with the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever stared in to. Over the next few weeks the glancing back and forth continued. She didn't work in my department so I wasn't able to speak to her and didn't really know if that was the right thing to do anyway since I am in a relationship but something was just telling me she was right for me. Everything about her seemed so right. After working the same shift for 2yrs my boss one day decided he was going to start me on an earlier shift. When sitting in the break room one day, in she came. My heart began beating through my chest. I never get nervous in front of women, why now? We made small talk and I loved every sec. of it. She was so down to earth. These talks have continued over the past few weeks. We both laugh together and just seem to click. She did mention a bf she has but I can just tell by the way she looks at me that she feels it to. Maybe I am just wishful thinking who knows. I haven't made any advances because I feel thats wrong to do due to my situation and hers but at the same time I feel like this is something I should not let pass me by. I've never been so strongly attracted to a girl I don't even really know. Don't let it pass you by and don't waste anymore time making small talk. She might just be telling you she has bf because, IDK people, guys and girls do that. You need to know now if she's into you or if she's just trying to friend you. I've been used as an emotional tampon by so many girls.
Assasda Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 You said the key words at the end of your un-paragraphed story. "you dont even know" Anyways, if youre not happy in your relationship. why are you in it? Break up with your girlfriend then. Then you can move on 2
HappyLove Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Sounds like you're doing the same thing your gf did to you. If you're not happy in your relationship then stop leading your gf on. Be a single man who's ready to date, then pursue single women.
nerdlingZA Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Don't let it pass you by and don't waste anymore time making small talk. She might just be telling you she has bf because, IDK people, guys and girls do that. You need to know now if she's into you or if she's just trying to friend you. I've been used as an emotional tampon by so many girls. You allow 'em to use you as tampon
Assasda Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 You allow 'em to use you as tampon hahahah his name is "mangina"
Zippy2000 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 You're suffering the grass is greener syndrome like you say.
mightycpa Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I'm expect a lot of hate mail from what I'm about to tell you, but I have a great deal of experience in this matter, and this is the winningnest of strategies. Hopefully, you're not living with your GF. 1) Tell your GF that you have been thinking about it, and that while you don't want to end things with her, that you no longer want to be exclusive. Tell her that you jumped right back into the same patterns that she left, and that the smart thing to do is to reboot the relationship completely. DO NOT tell her about the other girl specifically, even if she asks. Tell her that you need to dial back the relationship, so that you can get some perspective, and to have the relationship with her that you want. Tell her she can date people if she wants, and that you reserve the right to date others too. She will have one of two reactions, after whatever drama ensues. She'll be able to live with it, or she won't. That will tell you a lot about where she really is, considering she's left you once already. You can always cut if off later if the new girl is what you really want. 2) Go ask the new girl out. Have a good time. See if this is real or not. Only one way to find out. And when the time is right, you can tell her that you're also seeing someone else that you've been seeing for a while. Dating both will tell you a great deal your true feelings for the both of them. It won't last too long, but while it does, enjoy!
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