Koans Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 (edited) For those who had their ex's just bounce out the blue with no reasons. In your history together with them, have they ever not stood up for themselves against a direct source. Did they always just burden you problems not about them. Are they the type that talks to you about other people, then talks to other people about you. But never bring a issue of whats bothering them directly to you. Do they bottle things up when you think they should express it. Has she told you that one of her friends that she fell out friendship with, call her fake, as she was telling you how she doesn't like that person while maintaining friendship. But failed to see it in the friends eyes of how your ex abruptly ended the friendship with no reason. Does she have past history of being bullied or had parental figures who didn't allow her to express herself. Does she not make sense in her actions, filled with unexplainable insecurities and weaknesses. Example, (Ex breaks up with me, rebounds, breaks up with current guy but keeps his picture, your picture and adds an old ex boyfriend before you who cheated on her that she once deleted- all at the same time) If so, maybe they are passive-aggressive. Personality trait. You can fantasize of them contacting you back, but they have a built in fear that won't allow them if not acknowledged. Hence, every single relationship they have will be based on the same style of breaking up down the line. Coz they lack the most important ingredient. Communication. Edited September 7, 2014 by Koans 1
AltiumV Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 so true. However i have come up with a couple of theories with scenarios like this. one of my ex's use to complain to my brothers fiance for months but never once spoke to me about it, i sometimes believe that they don't want to start fights or conflict because you might yell at them or break up with them, so they bottle it up and slowly start to emotionally disconnect from the relationship and then pull the plug. this is most likely the situation with ALL out of the blue breakups it usually starts about a month before the breakup, then a couple of days before the BIG fight with 100+ complaints when they are ready to pull a trigger or a new guy has come into action. they don't fight due to insecurity and fear, its almost selfish but ahwell. they way i see it mate is that everyone is entitled to there happiness and if they want out they want out everyone has there own coping mechanism.
infamousma Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 most of what you just type was pretty much my recent last ex XD I've known the girl for the last 3 years, started out as friends and somehow became lovers. We talked everyday, mainly her talking to me about her friends, family problems, school, work, etc. I know she has insecurities but for a girl with insecurities, she sure does take a lot of selfies! Apparently from what she told me she was kinda bullied in grade/high school for her looks. And from stories, it seems her mother is very bipolar as she would do some questionable actions towards my ex when she was younger... Also she barely has any friends and most of them are guy friends, two happen to like her but she completely friendzoned them. Ultimately what ended us was bad communication on her part. We have mutual friends and she asked two of them what to do about our relationship. Both friends told her to talk to me about it. Well, that never happened and I know she is stubborn and as she told me shes not the type of girl to ask or tell someone for something because she doesnt want to be that type of gf to "nag." So apparently I had to guess what she was hinting at -.- now my ex acts cold to me, everything I say she sharply dissects and makes it seem like I was at fault. She told our mutual friends that she broke up with me, yet I was the one who dumped her. I just dont understand women... and I dont think I ever will or want to 1
mightycpa Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Nope. She wasn't like that at all. She just found the next guy and moved on. I have no doubt he met the same untimely end that I did. Or maybe he did it to her first.
Recommended Posts