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First date in years!


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Posted

And i am kind of excited! Been talking txting with this girl online past 1.5 months. I have bad anxiety so this will be very tough..but once i hit that hump...i know i will be proud of myself!

 

Set up a mini-golf date. Something simple and fun to begin with

  • Like 1
Posted

Sounds good. Just go in with a good attitude and have fun. Stay in the present and enjoy your time out. Good luck!

  • Author
Posted
Sounds good. Just go in with a good attitude and have fun. Stay in the present and enjoy your time out. Good luck!

 

thats the goal..lets see where this goes no matter how nervous i will be :laugh:

Posted

OP...what is your age group, just curious? Good on you though for landing the date, but I have to tell you that if you haven't been on a date for a while, you will need to know a couple of things

 

1. dress smart even though it's min golf....no jeans/running shoes. Wear a dress pant / shirt / short sleeve

 

2. be sure to smell good

3. make eye contact and pay compliment once you meet her

4. avoid talking about you mostly

5. crack a bit of joke here and there...so sexual innuendo

6. smile

7. tell her you are a hugger before hand and capitalizing on this when you meet

8. Just enjoy the date and try and get a 2nd

 

Enjoy the date Romeo

Posted
3. make eye contact and pay compliment once you meet her

 

The meeting compliment: Any consensus on that one. For some of the gentler, mellower guys here I think that a compliment can come across as cheesy very easily if in the first few minutes; it will certainly relate to their looks only. You cannot say "Say you are so empathetic / funny / etc" that early on, so limiting a compliment to looks starts getting brittle with me (I greatly value and deliver looks, but hey, a little shallow?) I also accept that it can be both truthful, and encourage confidence in both parties. Any further thoughts?

Posted
The meeting compliment: Any consensus on that one. For some of the gentler, mellower guys here I think that a compliment can come across as cheesy very easily if in the first few minutes; it will certainly relate to their looks only. You cannot say "Say you are so empathetic / funny / etc" that early on, so limiting a compliment to looks starts getting brittle with me (I greatly value and deliver looks, but hey, a little shallow?) I also accept that it can be both truthful, and encourage confidence in both parties. Any further thoughts?

 

 

Clarification...the compliment will be directed at their appearance i.e. outfit, shoes (if indeed they do look nice), as opposed to their looks (face)

Posted
1. dress smart even though it's min golf....no jeans/running shoes. Wear a dress pant / shirt / short sleeve

 

Everybody knows you wear GOLF SHORTS to mini golf. Plaid shorts, solid matching or contrasting polo shirt and some dockers.

 

 

4. avoid talking about you mostly
People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions, and follow up on what truly interests her.

 

"Really, you like to bake? Easy bake oven, or the real thing? Betty Crocker, or from scratch? Bread or cakes or chicken?" Like that.

 

7. tell her you are a hugger before hand and capitalizing on this when you meet
Please don't do this, unless you really are a hugger.
Posted
First date in years!

And i am kind of excited!

 

That would be my fervent hope, to be excited. Good luck to you!

 

iMO, the mini-golf should go well. Be yourself and focus on having fun. It'll work out.

Posted

Mini-golf -- brilliant! Lots of opportunities to see if she's friendly to the touch by steadying her over curbs, etc. with your hand on her back or arm and just generally be a gentleman and at the same time in a very casual environment. Perfect.

Posted

Jeez.....getting ahead of yourself aren't you?

 

Mini-golf -- brilliant! Lots of opportunities to see if she's friendly to the touch by steadying her over curbs, etc. with your hand on her back or arm and just generally be a gentleman and at the same time in a very casual environment. Perfect.
Posted
Everybody knows you wear GOLF SHORTS to mini golf. Plaid shorts, solid matching or contrasting polo shirt and some dockers.

 

Unless you're an adult, in which case shorts will make you look like a 10 year old.

Posted

Congrats! I agree that mini golf is a fantastic first date idea. Show up early. Be yourself. Be attentive and considerate. Ask questions and show interest. Most importantly, enjoy the time spent with her and the activity. If it seems to go well, tell her as the date ends that you had a good time and ask for another date.

 

Best of luck!:)

  • Author
Posted (edited)

I work in the golf world...so i have decent style haha

 

It's been years...what is the rule on touch? a few times ect?

Edited by Brady_to_Moss
Posted

Meh, leave it to the thread starter to be the voice of calm and reason here. Let's keep it that way, shall we folks? Thanks in advance!

Posted

Glad to hear it, hope you have a fun date! :)

  • Author
Posted
Glad to hear it, hope you have a fun date! :)

 

thanks..i am 25 and ready to make a move in the dating world even if it scares me to death.

 

 

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take right?!

  • Like 1
Posted

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take right?!

 

Indeed, indeed. ;)

 

Let us know how it turns out!

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Indeed, indeed. ;)

 

Let us know how it turns out!

will do...now my only issues is what;s the deal with contact first date? I wouldn't kiss on the first date..but hand on back while waling through door ect IDK

Edited by Brady_to_Moss
Posted (edited)
will do...now my only issues is what;s the deal with contact first date? I wouldn't kiss on the first date unless it went amazing..but physical touch hints ect..i have no diea

 

Don't even worry about that. Let's take the worst possible case:

 

She really, really likes you. You don't kiss her. You don't grope her. You act like you respect her.

 

What do you think she'll do? Dump you? Seriously?

 

Reverse the situation. What would you do? You'd worry about it, right?

 

Why didn't she kiss me? I was giving off all the right signals!
If you could have kissed her, and you didn't, you will ALWAYS get a second chance. You might try holding her hand if it is going well. Girls like that. Brady to Moss! Touchdown!

 

Drop all the worrying, THAT is not attractive. You will make your worst fears come true. So stop it, OK? For your own good.

Edited by mightycpa
  • Author
Posted
Don't even worry about that. Let's take the worst possible case:

 

She really, really likes you. You don't kiss her. You don't grope her. You act like you respect her.

 

What do you think she'll do? Dump you? Seriously?

 

Reverse the situation. What would you do? You'd worry about it, right?

 

If you could have kissed her, and you didn't, you will ALWAYS get a second chance. You might try holding her hand if it is going well. Girls like that. Brady to Moss! Touchdown!

 

Drop all the worrying, THAT is not attractive. You will make your worst fears come true. So stop it, OK? For your own good.

 

See i feel like a hand on a women is a very intimate place for them...but small of her back or back of the arm is OK like i said walking though door ect

Posted
See i feel like a hand on a women is a very intimate place for them...but small of her back or back of the arm is OK like i said walking though door ect

 

There you go. Stay in YOUR comfort zone, not mine. That sounds perfectly fine. You'll get the signals if she sends them out. Just don't ignore them... trust your instincts.

Posted
will do...now my only issues is what;s the deal with contact first date? I wouldn't kiss on the first date..but hand on back while waling through door ect IDK

 

There's no hard and fast answer to this, it depends on your personality and the preferences of the specific woman you are dating. Some women would next a man if they didn't touch her on the first date; on the other hand I'd be wary of a man who did, as I like things to go slow.

 

I think the 'right' answer is to do whatever feels right and natural to you. Ideally your aim would be to find a compatible gf anyway (if I'm not mistaken?), so doing that would be a good filter. :)

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