Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 ::Merin is trying reallllyy hard not to pull her hair out:: So today at work.. we've been moving for a few weeks into our new clinic and so we've had a lot of inspections to make sure things are good to go... So one of the guys who is working in the building comes into my suite and says "Hey when the building inspector comes, can you come across the way and let me know because I need to talk to him" I said okay no problem.. So the inspector finally comes.. I tell him this guy needs to speak with him and I go get him.. the 2 of them chat.. whatever.. the inspector leaves and this guy says "Thanks so much for coming to get me and let me know he was here" I was like sure, no problem.. then he says "Can I get you something to drink?" I'm thinking.. okay, a Dr. Pepper right? Like it wasn't a big deal to go get him, but whateva.. so I said "Okay that would be great" he looks at me and says "Really? Great how about tonite?" Whhaattttt? I was speechless.. like WTF just happend here? I kind of stood there for a minute.. I said Uh.. no I can't. He says "Okay how about tomorrow night?" again... I'm like No, I can't.. he says how about next week? I said "Well ya know I'll check with my BF and see if he can make it next week" so then I feel dumb for not understanding what he meant to begin with.. he probably felt dumb that I didn't get it either at first... So I tell him I've got to go... and OMG I'm in MY freakin suite.. sh*t! I sat wondering.. do I tell my BF about this? Not because anything was going to happen.. but my EXBF always wanted to know if something like this had happend... so I tell my BF tonite what happend.. he is kind of laughing.. he says "So... was he good looking?" whaaattt? I'm like No.. he says "If you weren't with me, would you go out with him, do you like him?" I said "No, I like you" he's like hmmm.. okay.. sorry. Now what was that all about? Bah! I don't understand whats wrong with me!? Am I that naive that I don't get when guys are hitting on me? AND what was up with my BF asking me IF this guy is good looking? Uggggghhhh!!!!
whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 awwww he's jealous!!! Even though you had NO intention of going out this guy, the thought of you being asked out irked him!! I am with you...Where the F does "Can I get something to drink" go to "Great, how about tonight!" WTF? Cocky guy eh...Seems to be trying out a new line or something...Weird.
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup awwww he's jealous!!! Even though you had NO intention of going out this guy, the thought of you being asked out irked him!! I am with you...Where the F does "Can I get something to drink" go to "Great, how about tonight!" WTF? Cocky guy eh...Seems to be trying out a new line or something...Weird. LOL for real Girl.. I was like this>> I really had no idea he was asking me out.. and it made me feel so dumb. My BF... ya think he was mad at me? Mad at the guy? Mad at all? LOL uggghhhh I just don't get it.. should I not have told him about this?
brashgal Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Sounds like you would have done him a favor by telling him to get a new line. I wonder if he's ever had a girl accept once she realized what he was doing. I can't even imagine what kind of girl would. I think your boyfriend was just trying to tease you, don't you? Tell him you aren't interested in guys that make you feel dumb...
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 I sat wondering.. do I tell my BF about this? Not because anything was going to happen.. but my EXBF always wanted to know if something like this had happend... so I tell my BF tonite what happend.. he is kind of laughing.. he says "So... was he good looking?" whaaattt? I'm like No.. he says "If you weren't with me, would you go out with him, do you like him?" I said "No, I like you" he's like hmmm.. okay.. sorry. Merin, don't nail me down on this one, but he found it rather flattering that you were hit on. It gives him a boost for his ego (he has an attractive gf). Although your last answer somehow seemed to disappoint him, as you did not word your liking for bf very strong.
HotCaliGirl Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 I think that you should not have told your boyfriend about it. It makes someone jealous and upset to hear that someone asked their boy/girlfriend out, regardless of how uninterested you were. It's not like if he was cute and you'd consider going out with him if you didn't have a boyfriend, that you'd tell your boyfriend that, so in his mind, he is left wondering if that were really the case, etc. When he said how about tonight, you should have told him you'd dehydrate by then, that you could use a Dr. Pepper now! What a wacko to say that! And that is funny that you said you had to leave when you were in your suite! He was acting dumb by saying what about tonight, tomorrow, etc. to see if the net would catch any fish. Total player type of a guy. Ugh.
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 I honestly don't know.. Maybe this is just another one of my many issues.. This guy who asked me out.. as wierd as it may sound, these kinds of situations just make me feel very uncomfortable.. I have patients sometimes that will do this as well and it makes me feel uncomfortable for a number of reasons. My BF.. I didn't tell him to make him feel insecure or jealous.. he knows I'm crazy about him and so yeah.. I honestly just didn't know wtf was wrong with this guy and he is going to be in this building we've just moved into for another 6 months or so.. d'Arthez.. I don't think I didn't word it strong enough that my BF is the one I want.. I just couldn't or can't understand why he asked me if this guy would be someone I would have an interest in.. ugh.. I don't know. Probably just another issue for me to add to my growing collection.
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by brashgal Sounds like you would have done him a favor by telling him to get a new line. I wonder if he's ever had a girl accept once she realized what he was doing. I can't even imagine what kind of girl would. I think your boyfriend was just trying to tease you, don't you? Tell him you aren't interested in guys that make you feel dumb... Yeah Brashgal he could've been just teasing me.. I dunno.. LOL it's probably again just me.. but I do tend to over think things and wonder a lot.. so yeah. This other guy.. ugh! I'm just going to try to stay clear of him.
Hund1976 Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 I don't think the whole thing is that big of a deal. I wouldn't tell your boyfriend every time someone hits on you though. An ex of mine sold insurance so she met tons of people throughout the day. She used to always tell me about people hitting on her. And she was the type of girl that would act real flirty when she was out. So I used to tell her not to tell me about that stuff, but she kept doing it for some reason. Anyways back to your story, hopefully the guy at work got the hint and that will be the end of that. And don't tell your BF about future people hitting on you. Its bound to make him somewhat jealous.
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Yeah, it is hard to read his questions. Many possible and different reasons. Sorry it felt uncomfortable. So it can either be that he is sorry for asking you these questions, sorry because he doubted you, or somewhat sorry for the response you gave. Depending on the reason (if you can find out!), it might indeed be better not to tell your bf in the future if someone (tried to) hit on you.
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 I don't think the whole thing is that big of a deal. I wouldn't tell your boyfriend every time someone hits on you though. An ex of mine sold insurance so she met tons of people throughout the day. She used to always tell me about people hitting on her. And she was the type of girl that would act real flirty when she was out. So I used to tell her not to tell me about that stuff, but she kept doing it for some reason. Anyways back to your story, hopefully the guy at work got the hint and that will be the end of that. And don't tell your BF about future people hitting on you. Its bound to make him somewhat jealous. Let me make this very clear.. I don't tell my BF about EVERY guy that hits on me. This was a situation that bothered me, A LOT.. so I told him. My BF will ask me IF this guy or that guy was hitting on me.. usually even when someone is being what I consider to be flirty not creepy (like this guy at my work was) I tell my BF NO he wasn't hitting on me he was just being nice or whatever..
HotCaliGirl Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 I agree with Hund1976...some people say it is good to make your partner jealous, for whatever reason like they'll appreciate you more BUT I don't think it is a good thing and can lead to resentment. I know your relationship is great and your boyfriend knows you're crazy about him, but it is human nature that he will get jealous when you tell him these innocent things and jealousy is not a good feeling to have. He might start imagining or wondering about the thought of you actually going out with that guy IF he was not your boyfriend and other scenerios in his head so it is best to spare him of those images and thoughts... Merin Wrote: I don't tell my BF about EVERY guy that hits on me. This was a situation that bothered me, A LOT.. so I told him. I think that these kinds of things you should tell your girlfriends about, just not your boyfriend. Nobody has control over jealousy and it is almost guaranteed to cause some jealousy and/or other negative feelings, regardless of how much he knows you wouldn't ever act on anybody asking you out... Also, maybe he needed to hear you gush more to him about how much you would not go out wtih him, since he actually asked you that question, when you know so strongly that you wouldn't that you don't think it needs to be expanded on. The fact that your bf still asked you means that he just needed to hear more of you putting down that guy to confirm he's the only one...
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 Again.. I appreciate what your saying.. This was something that bothered me, so I told him. I was in a relationship where I couldn't tell my EXBF anything about anything.. If anyone talked to me I couldn't tell him, IF any of my guy FRIENDS called to say hi I couldn't tell him.. it didn't matter if they were actually hitting on me or not, he assumed they were so yeah.. I couldn't tell him. He was over the top jealous and I walked on eggshells. IF he found out or saw any guy even looking my way and I hadn't told him then he would get so pissed off he would tell me I was keeping things from him.. so I guess this is my issue and I own it. My BF HAS told me about girls hitting on him.. I'm all okay and set as long as he doesn't respond to it and play into it. Also.. I might be dumb at times.. but I know what is discussion for my Girlfriends and not topic for my BF.
Devildog Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Let me make this very clear.. I don't tell my BF about EVERY guy that hits on me. WHEW, that's good to know.
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 don't tell your b/f about this shyt. trust me when I say that no guy likes to hear this stuff. now if some dude is stalking or asking you out repeatedly or harassing you that is a different matter. i usually date pretty attractive women and it really pisses me off when they say " oh guess what alpha, i was buying cantelope at Kroger yesterday and some dude hit on me" yeah, like i f***king want to hear that. if women hit on me when i am dating someone i ussually don't mention it unless there is a strategic purppose, i.e. to make her jealous or whatever.
moimeme Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 I think that you should not have told your boyfriend about it. It makes someone jealous and upset to hear that someone asked their boy/girlfriend out, regardless of how uninterested you were. I would feel like a liar if I didn't tell about people hitting on me. To me, if you keep it a secret, that makes it into something big. If you talk about it, it's obvious it is meaningless and just another one of the day's events. I would want my guy to be the same.
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme If you talk about it, it's obvious it is meaningless and just another one of the day's events. I would want my guy to be the same. So if one day MOIMEME your b/f came home and said "Hey, MOIMEME, girl X hit on me today and wanted to go out sometime", then what would you do? What if girl X was your best girlfriend or another female you knew??
seattle0500 Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 I agree with Alpha on this one....and I'm a woman who gets hit on frequently. It's a nice ego boost, but keep it to yourself. You're not gonna act on it, so why do you have to share it with others? I don't even tell my female friends about it b/c I feel almost like it's kinda pathetic to tell people about it, it smacks of insecurity and needing validation. If you know you're attractive and some guy or girl hits on you, take it as a compliment and let it be. You know it deep down. Why do you have to broadcast it to others? Be honest, you have an ulterior motive if you do...
Podna Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 OK. I have to chime in on this. Merin, I’m very sorry that this guy made you feel uncomfortable or silly. He sounds like he was trying to play Mr. Slick and instead looked like Mr. Retard. As far as your BF is concerned, I think maybe he was just trying to ascertain if he should be jealous or not. By asking, “was he good looking?” he was really saying “so should I be worried about his guy?”… By asking “if you weren’t with me, would you go out with him?” again, he was trying to find out if this guy was somehow a threat. However, he could have been trying to test YOU, by seeing if you were going to tell him the guy was attractive or really sweet just to make him jealous. The truth is, I am sure your BF knows that you are a real knockout and there is NO WAY to stop guys from looking at you or hitting on you. And by the sound of it, your EXBF wasn’t man enough to handle your looks. To be honest I can kinda sympathize with Mr. Retard, the poor bustard. Hope that helps
moimeme Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 So if one day MOIMEME your b/f came home and said "Hey, MOIMEME, girl X hit on me today and wanted to go out sometime", then what would you do? I'd say I got me a hottie Why would I care? If he's coming home to me and not going out with her, why should I sweat it?? Besides, forewarned is forearmed. I maybe wouldn't invite her to the next pool party I imagine I might also reward him for being honest by giving him a few more reasons to not want to leave me What if girl X was your best girlfriend or another female you knew?? Then I'd appreciate knowing about it and even more so if he told me. I'd be sad if I had trusted this 'friend' but if she wasn't a true friend, I'd really appreciate finding out.
jellybean Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 That's about the stupidist approach at asking a woman out, that I've ever heard. No wonder it left you confused....could be he was feeling a little nervous tho, and maybe his words just came out all wrong. Who knows, who cares...you've got a guy. When I've been in a relationship, I've NEVER mentioned to a b/f that I was hit on. The reason : it would serve no purpose....no doubt it's flattering, but when I'm committed to someone, any other man asking me out is a totally meaningless event. Not worth mentioning IMHO, and could possibly leave a b/f wondering and guessing about my devotion, and other stuff that I'm totally innocent of. I can be trusted....so sad that I was lied to and cheating on by my recent ex,who did not share the same values.
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Podna OK. I have to chime in on this. Merin, I’m very sorry that this guy made you feel uncomfortable or silly. He sounds like he was trying to play Mr. Slick and instead looked like Mr. Retard. As far as your BF is concerned, I think maybe he was just trying to ascertain if he should be jealous or not. By asking, “was he good looking?” he was really saying “so should I be worried about his guy?”… By asking “if you weren’t with me, would you go out with him?” again, he was trying to find out if this guy was somehow a threat. However, he could have been trying to test YOU, by seeing if you were going to tell him the guy was attractive or really sweet just to make him jealous. The truth is, I am sure your BF knows that you are a real knockout and there is NO WAY to stop guys from looking at you or hitting on you. And by the sound of it, your EXBF wasn’t man enough to handle your looks. To be honest I can kinda sympathize with Mr. Retard, the poor bustard. Hope that helps Thanks Podna, that helped a lot
miso Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 don't tell your b/f about this shyt. trust me when I say that no guy likes to hear this stuff. now if some dude is stalking or asking you out repeatedly or harassing you that is a different matter. i usually date pretty attractive women and it really pisses me off when they say " oh guess what alpha, i was buying cantelope at Kroger yesterday and some dude hit on me" yeah, like i f***king want to hear that. if women hit on me when i am dating someone i ussually don't mention it unless there is a strategic purppose, i.e. to make her jealous or whatever. QUOTE ALPHAMALE so alpha does it make you not like the girl or does it just keep you on your toes? MERIN i dont think any girls would realise that was a pick up about your bf, it was obvious you were telling him cos it was a funny story not to make him jealous, he'll think about that after he is probably going thru it now thinking "did i act too possessive?"
Mz. Pixie Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Well, Merin if you really look like your picture here at LS then I'd say men are intimidated by you- probably women too- because you're smart too. Anyway, this guy probably didn't know what to say so his play wasn't dead on but what a geek! I don't tell BF when someone flirts with me but I will tell him when someone asks me out. It's just like a rule we have- he tells me if someone asks him out. I was teasing him yesterday about women pushing up on my man! I've posted before about his nutty ex gf well- the other day he got a call from this random chick he went out with once before he met me. I was in the truck but he didn't answer and she left a message. She was just checking to see how he was doing. Now, she's already called him once and he told her he was seeing someone. I said, "Whats up with this?" teasing him. He said, "They want some but they can't have some" I think it's a ego stroke for men to know that other men think their woman is hot but that they can't have them. That's just my opinion. If he can handle it without being obsessive why shouldn't you let him know that other people are interested? You're not interested in them which is the only thing that matters.
Author Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie Well, Merin if you really look like your picture here at LS then I'd say men are intimidated by you- probably women too- because you're smart too. Anyway, this guy probably didn't know what to say so his play wasn't dead on but what a geek! I don't tell BF when someone flirts with me but I will tell him when someone asks me out. It's just like a rule we have- he tells me if someone asks him out. I was teasing him yesterday about women pushing up on my man! I've posted before about his nutty ex gf well- the other day he got a call from this random chick he went out with once before he met me. I was in the truck but he didn't answer and she left a message. She was just checking to see how he was doing. Now, she's already called him once and he told her he was seeing someone. I said, "Whats up with this?" teasing him. He said, "They want some but they can't have some" I think it's a ego stroke for men to know that other men think their woman is hot but that they can't have them. That's just my opinion. If he can handle it without being obsessive why shouldn't you let him know that other people are interested? You're not interested in them which is the only thing that matters. Thanks girl.. yeah the photo is me.. I guess I just don't see myself the same way other ppl do you know? My BF finds it hard to believe that I don't see myself the same way he does... but honestly LOL I just don't. I know what a DORK I really am.. LOL so yeah. I agree with not telling when someone is just flirting... but yeah.. again this bugged me so I told him.
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