Mysterio Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 I wonder if one of the needs in us to be with someone on a romantic level is Biology, more than just stating we need love. I come on this board and have been on others and it seems like 95 % of us, feel sad that we don't have a romantic love or even close friends. It was never like that for me. I actually have a lot of friends. I would say about 20 and 12 are really close. I have been discontented with 3 of them in the last couple of months. It sad to me that those three are that significant that the other 17 can't drown them out in terms of me just letting the friendships just be whatever and concentrate on other things. I also think on a daily basis that I have been deprived by not having/meeting a potential love interest and that weighs on me too. I have to fight not to think about it. I know that I will meet another woman in my life that I will be able to have a romantic relationship for the long term. Yet my former love potentials can't cancel out that feeling. So once again. Is all our love angst just basically a bio need, like not getting enough oxygen/food/water/sunlight to grow or maintain a healthy state of body/mind/soul? I never used to feel this way. When I was a kid up until 24. I never got into these dynamics. Basically. I don't like being on the outs with friends and not having a love relationship beyond sex with a woman. I don't know why its getting to me. I guess I have to let the universe unfold. Although on a positive note one of my friends that I am on the outs with is getting his act together.
evanescentworld Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Love is an emotional need. Biology has no needs other than for procreation. You're confusing the two. There are societies and cultures which view marriage and partnerships in different ways. We in the West get very hung up on having a partner, and fulfilling emotional requirements. We permit our quest for happiness to hinge upon being WITH somebody. But we should never be dependent upon the presence of a partner, to make us happy. We should be able to achieve contentment, inner peace and tranquil joy perfectly well on our own. Having a partner should be the icing on the cake. WE bake the cake. Hell, we ARE the cake. If your original recipe is flawed, or the creation of this cake with all the necessary components, is a mess, then no amount of icing is going to make that perfect.
Author Mysterio Posted September 6, 2014 Author Posted September 6, 2014 Evan. Sex for the most part is for pleasure. Even though we love it. I don't think its the same need bio wise like we need to have oxygen/food/water. O/F/W are factors we can't do without.
todreaminblue Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 i truly believe that good and true relationships can have a blossoming effect on some people.....it should happen for all thats what a good and true relationship does...allows you to blossom......into it and with it.....a good relationship with a partner makes you a better person......not a lesser one....it is a need in both to be together......its an enhance thing.....when i am in bad relationships .....i go down big time.......its how i know the relationship isn't for me...... in friends i have and people i have known i can tell the ones in good relationships because it shows in their countenance.....a transformation when they speak of their partner...and in themselves....a happiness...... a friend the other day said nah i don't love him..i do believe he annoys her....lol.. but where her countenance said otherwise about love...there was softness there, a glow.....she loves him......i didnt push it.......but i knew.....i tested the waters....by saying i didnt know if she should marry him she had been told she should......her face changed when i said no maybe you should think about it.......i took that comment back...... yes its biological and i believe on a cellular level, that most people need to connect with another....on a spiritual and emotional level and a physical level......sex ....is important.....its part of expressing a deep love of someone ...or it is to me.......and i miss sex.....i miss feeling connected to another.....it is what drives me to date to find my guy to connect with.....i just know on every level in me.....it needs to be the right guy......for that relationship to enhance and actually set em free instead of tie me down....its all perspective......and each to his own......but that is my opinion...it doesnt make me needy of a guy..i am willing to wait for that right guy..and i wont have to have sex with him before marriage to know he is right for me...i will just know.......deb
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