Darren2013 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 The only reason women don't pursue men is because there is usually not an incentive for them to do so. It doesn't take long before men from the left and right approach her to ask her out. The only time women will approach is if the majority of men decided starting tomorrow to stop pursuing women. If that were to happen then women would be more motivated to pursue and take risks. There may very well come a time in future generations where the trend is that less and less men pursue women. Things are always changing.
Author Darren2013 Posted September 6, 2014 Author Posted September 6, 2014 (edited) Even Military men can be too scared to approach women. That just goes to show that even Military experience doesn't help improve a man's dating life. Being a courageous solider for one's country doesn't mean they will have that same courage when it comes to asking women out. Why is that? Because in Military training you aren't given incentives. None of the superior officers are going to reprimand a solider to drop down and do 50 push-ups for being too shy to ask a lady out. No you are pretty much on your own to motivate yourself in that area whether you are a civilian or Military man. My Dad told me that he probably would have asked my Mom out sooner if he had to do extra push-ups as a punishment for being shy with women. He served as a Marine for 30 years. Edited September 6, 2014 by Darren2013
NGC1300 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 The only reason women don't pursue men is because there is usually not an incentive for them to do so. It doesn't take long before men from the left and right approach her to ask her out. The only time women will approach is if the majority of men decided starting tomorrow to stop pursuing women. If that were to happen then women would be more motivated to pursue and take risks. There may very well come a time in future generations where the trend is that less and less men pursue women. Things are always changing. You are correct. The male really holds no power in the dating scene at all. Every woman knows the next salivating male is right around the corner, so she has to put in DRASTICALLY less effort in every relationship she enters. Because affection from the opposite sex is acquired so easily, she also values her partner much much less than he does her. This isn't even a matter of debate. 2/3 of divorces are initiated by the woman. Male suicide over breakups is a common occurrence, while female suicide over breakups is almost unheard of. They simply do not value their partners to an equivalent extent. This also allows women to demand higher and higher expectations from men while bringing very little to the table themselves. A man can be a loser for any single reason, yet a woman is magically never a loser. She may show you affection, but the harsh truth is you mean nothing to her. 2
Author Darren2013 Posted September 6, 2014 Author Posted September 6, 2014 Yep the harsh truth is that majority of women are looking for a reason to reject a man no matter how much he improves himself and strives for perfection. It is like they are wired to look for a reason to reject you. And about breakups the majority of time women do the dumping. Even in cases where men dump women I have a feeling that a good percentage of those were setup by the woman. If she doesn't have the guts to take charge and end the relationship herself then she will just take steps to piss her boyfriend off in the hopes he will do the dirty work for her. He leaves thinking it was his idea but really she just let him think that because she is doing whatever it takes to get the hell out of there. She may purposely let herself go physically and gain weight in the hopes he will no longer find her attractive and leave.
travelbug1996 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Yea women are becoming the new men and vice versa. smh
2.50 a gallon Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Who says women don't pursue men. I am long out of the dating scene, but when I was at least a quarter of the women that I dated, were because they made the first move. That includes my ExW, who propositioned me 20 minutes after we met. I have been with my current lady for coming up on 19 years, it was she who asked me out on our first date.
Imported Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 (edited) Who says women don't pursue men. I am long out of the dating scene, but when I was at least a quarter of the women that I dated, were because they made the first move. That includes my ExW, who propositioned me 20 minutes after we met. I have been with my current lady for coming up on 19 years, it was she who asked me out on our first date. Hey, these guys were having a nice circle jerk with each other. You don't need to point out their reality isn't every guys reality. Edited September 6, 2014 by Imported Don't worry, they'll probably ignore it anyway and/or have an excuse. 8
NGC1300 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Hey, these guys were having a nice circle jerk with each other. You don't need to point out their reality isn't every guys reality. Women approaching is the exception though. This you can't deny.
Imported Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Women approaching is the exception though. This you can't deny. When you enter a room full of women and many of the single and looking girls perk up with interest towards you, that is much better than waiting around hoping that girl you actually want appraoches you. What man would want to wait around for that? Where does the approach start? It starts with her showing she is interested. Then you pick and choose. Or wait till you see more agreeable options. It's actually a very nice system. Women you don't want don't bother you most of the time. Deny it? Depends on how you look at it. To me, it's a very moot point.
preraph Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Darren, you're never going to get anywhere with that attitude. Women do pursue men. We place ourselves in their path or smile at them or compliment them. But we're not about to do it to someone who's being a jerk or someone who hasn't yet gotten to be enough of a man to reciprocate. 1
CaliGypsy Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 A lot of Women are more subtle in their pursuit I guess. IMO for women of a certain age and era it's just how we were raised. I'll be honest. I've never actually asked a man out. I can't imagine how much courage it takes.
Mangina Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Not the bigger girls, they pursue me, so I date them.
lollipopspot Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Every woman knows the next salivating male is right around the corner, so she has to put in DRASTICALLY less effort in every relationship she enters. Because affection from the opposite sex is acquired so easily, she also values her partner much much less than he does her. This isn't even a matter of debate. Sure it's a matter of debate. I mean, maybe it's true if you're a Sports Illustrated model, but for average lady, untrue. Especially after 40. 2
Mr Scorpio Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 This is utter nonsense. Rubbish. Bunkum. Balderdash. Flim-flam. There are plenty of women who can't just leave the house in a potato sack only to be inundated with a barrage of dandys. And even those who do might not like any of the men who approach them. Furthermore, there are woman who do pursue men. Are there men who never get pursued? Sure. But that doesn't make it a universal truth. Saying that men have no power is a way to absolve oneself of responsibility for their current lack of a romantic life. 4
Author Darren2013 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 Darren, you're never going to get anywhere with that attitude. Women do pursue men. We place ourselves in their path or smile at them or compliment them. But we're not about to do it to someone who's being a jerk or someone who hasn't yet gotten to be enough of a man to reciprocate. That doesn't count as pursuit. There's a difference between smiling and complimenting vs. asking a man out. And compliments don't necessarily mean interest. It can just mean that you are being friendly. I have been around the block long enough to know that it means nothing. Some women are just friendly and flirty as part of their personality. It says nothing defiinitively about they being interested and it certainly doesn't count as asking a man out.
Author Darren2013 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 A woman has to give me a strong signal that I am not able to explain away before I will do anything. Only when I get a signal that I can't find an explanation for will I be confident enough to ask her out. Smiles and compliments can be explained away and are not convincing. I feel like a paranormal investigator when it comes to dating. The first step in any paranormal investigation is to look for natural explanations first. This is analogous to looking for the friendly explanations first instead of assuming that she is throwing signals of interest in going out. If I find something I can't explain away then it is time to bring in the EVP and other paranormal equipment because then we may have a legitimate ghost.
denise_xo Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I have pursued a lot of men. I have pretty average looks and have never been the type to receive lots of male attention 'automatically', so I've always actively approached men.
carhill Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 The only reason women don't pursue men is because there is usually not an incentive for them to do so. I would opine, in my demographic, it would be 'sufficient incentive'. IMO, sufficiently motivated, people do act. Since I watch how women qualify me, and other men, every day, and have been watching for 55 years in the same demographic, it's pretty easy to detect common patterns over time. In a demographic where men are always approaching women, whether they're married or coupled or single, there's a very narrow range of aspects which will impel similar from a woman, simply because they have substantial choices. The man will need to stand out, and it's usually due to being 'known' or demonstrating other aspects of socio-economic power and prestige. However, other forms of popularity can have play. Rarely, a woman can miscalculate and goes after someone who otherwise is unremarkable. I've seen a few like that and I think, initially, dealt with some of it during my courtship with my exW, in that she incorrectly imputed values where there were none, socio-economically. IMO, with full information at the beginning, she would have discontinued in favor of a more advantaged male. I recall, at the time, thinking it a bit odd that someone divorced from a partner in a CPA firm and receiving a nice alimony check each month would be interested in a blue collar grunt guy but you know how dating and romance are; sometimes we don't think clearly! Anyway, other than that, the only time I've noted incentives is when MW's have pursued me for emotional support and giving them something their husbands evidently don't, at least at that particular time. That's situational so I wouldn't impute it to the broader spectrum of incentives but it did get them off-center sufficiently to actually approach me. That's life!
Tayken Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Lets be honest...not all women are created equal just like men. Most of the time unwanted attraction is something you can do without 1
preraph Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I feel like a paranormal investigator when it comes to dating. Which is why you'll always only be dating ghosts.
Author Darren2013 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 Which is why you'll always only be dating ghosts. You didn't get the analogy. Getting unexplainable buying signals is like finding a real ghost or real paranormal activity. It makes paranormal investigators happy to find a legitimate haunting.
StanMusial Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 You didn't get the analogy. Getting unexplainable buying signals is like finding a real ghost or real paranormal activity. It makes paranormal investigators happy to find a legitimate haunting. Gd son what is this gibberish? Are we talking about man/woman relationships here? And yes, some women do pursue men. Granted they tend to be "off" in some way but that should suit you just fine. 1
Eggplant Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 My ex told me that when he was 12 years old, his 23-year-old brother told him to go talk to one of his female schoolmates he encountered in a store. As a shy 12 year old who wasn't even very interested in the girl to begin with, he refused. When they got back home, the older brother beat the crap out of my ex.
jay1983 Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 You are correct. The male really holds no power in the dating scene at all. Every woman knows the next salivating male is right around the corner, so she has to put in DRASTICALLY less effort in every relationship she enters. Because affection from the opposite sex is acquired so easily, she also values her partner much much less than he does her. This isn't even a matter of debate. 2/3 of divorces are initiated by the woman. Male suicide over breakups is a common occurrence, while female suicide over breakups is almost unheard of. They simply do not value their partners to an equivalent extent. This also allows women to demand higher and higher expectations from men while bringing very little to the table themselves. A man can be a loser for any single reason, yet a woman is magically never a loser. She may show you affection, but the harsh truth is you mean nothing to her. True, but here's an idea. Why not blame men for handing over the gasoline and striking the match? All women do is take it and run with it. If you told me I could get paid and not work, I'd quit my day job.
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