Willis Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 I met this girl at a club last week. She's a good friend of one of my friends. We only spoke for five minutes, but she was flirting with me a little bit every time I laid eyes on her. Anyway, I couldn't get her out of my head, so I added her on FB the next day. She accepted and I decided to text her. We've been texting this whole past week, both initiating convo and both asking each other questions. When I was leaving town for work some days ago - I'm going to be gone a whole month - we still texted. I was a bit sad, because that meant I couldn't ask her out at least until October, but at least we kept on texting. She even started sending me those kiss-face emoticons, here and there, usually when saying goodnight. Two days ago, I didn't respond for 14 hours, because I was extremely busy at work. Then when I responded and explained that I was too busy to reply, she didn't respond for 24 hours. But when she finally did respond, she also apologized and even remembered this little thing I was going to do the next day (I told her about it days before) and said she "wished she could be there" with a sad smiley attached. I responded "so sweet of you to remember" and she wrote "Of course I remembered ;)" I asked her what her plans for the weekend were and... NOTHING for over 48 hours now. I know this might sound silly, but I started getting worried and confused why she doesn't respond, thinking I might have done something wrong etc. So... what's going on? Is she interested? Has she lost interest? Help!
Assasda Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 calm down on the texts. Just call her when you get back
dragonfire13 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 She's definitely interested otherwise she wouldn't bother responding, let alone initiating, not to mention those oh-so-flirty emoticons ;-) There could be a number of reasons why she hasn't responded: she may have lost interest though I doubt it, as a woman myself the only way I would lose interest that quickly is if a guy turned out to be a player, or was rude and arrogant. She could genuinely be busy or preoccupied. I personally reckon she hasn't responded because you're out of town and that text, as much as you were trying to keep the conversation going, was a bit pointless and maybe she's a bit bored of texting. It could also be that she's be paranoid about coming across as too available, or like she doesn't get out much, especially if all of these delayed responses started after you took your time responding. My advice? Ask her out when you're back in town, and maybe even casually text her again in a few days. If she doesn't respond, you have your answer and I would cease contact, but more than likely she'll get a buzz that you're chasing her.
GemmaUK Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Texting for a week is dull and boring. Going away or not you could have made more impact in the space of a week.
Author Willis Posted September 6, 2014 Author Posted September 6, 2014 Texting for a week is dull and boring. Going away or not you could have made more impact in the space of a week. What kind of impact? I can't ask her out right now, obviously, so there's nothing else to do. I could call her, but then again I wanted to wait until I was in town again...
preraph Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 She's probably trying to follow your lead and not text too much. Anyway, she likes you. Girls will wait. When you're out of town say for a few days, text once and say, "I'll call when I get back in town and settled and we'll go do something. " You've let them know that's the plan and not to expect everyday texting clingy crapola but yet they have the security of knowing you're looking forward to seeing them when you get back.
angel.eyes Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 What kind of impact? I can't ask her out right now, obviously, so there's nothing else to do. I could call her, but then again I wanted to wait until I was in town again... Huh? Why not? You both have calendars and can plan ahead. So why delay asking her on a date? IME, the guy has always nailed down the details for the first date BEFORE either I or he left for the trip. Then he used texting and phone calls to keep our connection alive until the date. That's a guy who's interested, motivated, and has an end game. He knows what he wants and goes for it. Very appealing! What you're doing with endless, purposeless texting is sort of pointless. Everything is in limbo. The impression you leave: either you're too timid and passive to ask her out on an actual date (not very attractive) or you're bored and killing time but not necessarily interested (a total waste of her time). Texting gets old very quickly. TBH, she hung in there way longer than I would have in the situation. If she responds, call her up and ask for a date. Then organize it for a day or two after you get back. My advice: be a lot more assertive if you don't want things to fizzle out or to end up with "let's just be friends" when you eventually ask someone for a date. There are invariably other fish nibbling aggressively while you dither.
Author Willis Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 I understand. But it happened. Nobody I know goes the other way around. My generation texts first, then when the texting has shown interest, the call comes along. Not the other way around. I'll try to follow your advice.
DazedandConfused8 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 You're playing games. You didn't respond for a long period of time so now she's doing the same to you. It seems like she's interested though, so set up some time to get together in person.
angel.eyes Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I understand. But it happened. Nobody I know goes the other way around. My generation texts first, then when the texting has shown interest, the call comes along. Not the other way around. I'll try to follow your advice. Well, I can't speak to your immediate circle of friends, but I am asked out several times a day by guys I've just met. (I'm in a relationship, so everyone in my social circle knows I'm unavailable.) Unless, you're in high school, I can assure you that many guys are way more assertive than you. When they first meet me, they engage in a brief friendly chit chat, then ask me for a date. They don't endlessly text with no purpose. But if that works for you, carry on.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 If she's attractive and actively dating then I doubt telling her you'll see her when you're back or scheduling a date for when you get back will get you anywhere. Chances are in the next month she's going to continue to date men who are more available or put more effort in, and she could well not be available when you return. Bear in mind she was flirting with you and gave you her number within five minutes at the club, you're not going to be the only guy she does this with. I think your only way to play this (from a female perspective) is to try and build things from afar while you're outta town, keep texting but call her every few days, check in, see what's new and how she is. Try and build a bond so that you are still in the running. Whenever I've been dating I've been multi-dating and with so many great guys out there putting effort in it's easy for someone to fall by the wayside if they're not really competing. Once you're a week away from returning you can ask her if she's free on a certain night once you're back and set up a date. But I wouldn't put much stock in it. A month is a long time in the world of dating.
Recommended Posts