JoeinGa Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 I caught my wife of 26 years in an affair last September. I had had suspicions for some time and I hid a voice recorder and found out what I had been trying to deny could not be happening. I am certain that if this man would have committed to her that she would have left me and went to him. I was crushed but wanted to work through it for the sake of the family. She said she did too and we gave it a go. It wasn't the easiest of times but we were rocking along, mostly making progress while also having a few setbacks. 5 weeks ago she returned to her affair partners home and stayed there for nearly 30 minutes. When I confronted her she lied and said she had been somewhere else until she figured out I really knew. She said she had gone there to return items that belonged to him...."for closure" she said. All of the while, I had asked her if there was anything at all on my property that had come from that man and she had continually said no. I tried to call her 7 times while she was there and she would not answer the phone. She says that she did not see the man and had been sitting in his yard trying to muster the courage to get out and return the items. She said that she finally decided to just get out and leave them on his porch. When I first caught her I was devastated, but relieved at the same time to finally have an answer to her bizarre behavior of so long. This time however, it is much different. Over the past several months I figured out that I really didn't have to have this woman and I have mixed feelings about continuing on. Is there anyone who would believe this story she is telling? Is there anyone who believes that this man is not still in the forefront of her mind? Those are the only conclusions I can draw and just interested in hearing from you. Thanks!
CarrieT Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 I'm a woman and I don't believe her story. Her "closure" was a final roll in the hay. Of course he is still in her mind; he is the forbidden fruit which makes him that much more desirable. If there were things that needed to be returned, she should have come to YOU to ask how to handle the transaction in a way that would not destroy your trust. Instead, she went behind you back. For THINGS. If it really was about returning things, she could have mailed them. Sorry, I think you are getting shafted. 2
BetrayedH Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Who knows if she's telling the truth or not? That's the scenario she's created for you. In my mind, the bigger problem is that she's still apparently all good with lying to you. A cheater's method is to lie, deny, minimize, and lie some more. She lied and denied that she went there at all. And now that she's caught, what makes you think that she's not minimizing what happened there? You clearly have a partner in life that still has no problem lying straight to your face, and about visiting a (supposedly) former affair partner.
Recommended Posts