Spartan040 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 So, I'm 17 and I've never really done anything sexual, most I've ever done is kiss a girl, didn't even get to use tongue. I know a lot about sex from what I've heard and what I've read from credible sources, but I've never had a chance to put any of this into practice so I really don't know how good I would be. Would this be a deciding factor in dating a guy for most girls? Would it be a deciding factor if you were going to hook up with a guy? I honestly worry about this because I want it to be good for whatever girl I end up with and I'd feel like if it wasn't then I'd be taking advantage of the girl. Some people say I'm too hard on myself. Is that true?
bluesgirl Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 I definitely think you're being too hard on yourself! I didn't first kiss a guy until I was 18 and looking back now I was so young. You gain experience as you get older and even though this seems like a big deal right now, 5 years down the road it won't be. I'm sure you will find a girlfriend and experience all of this stuff but for now I wouldn't sweat it. 1
guest569 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 You're 17, i dont think most girls will expect you to have a lot of experience. It definitely wouldn't be a deciding factor, i think you have nothing to worry about. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 It's actually more common than you think to be sexually inexperienced at 17. I wouldn't worry too much about it, most people have had a kiss by now and many full intercourse but chances are the majority of people are still in 'inexperienced' territory. The most important thing in a sexual relationship is that you are eager to please your partner and to make it feel as good for her as it does for you. Focus on foreplay, and kissing, don't rush. Don't be afraid to experiment.
d0nnivain Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 At 17 I would not date you if I thought you had a lot of sexual experience. I was a virgin & the last thing I wanted was some jerk pressuring me for sex. I'm going to give you the same advice I gave the 24 year old on here with the same Q. The only one who cares is you. Shut up about it. Don't lead with it. After you have had sex you can confess if you must (I wouldn't) but I promise when the time comes, instinct will take over. After that you can practice with your partner. For now, you are 17. You just learned how to drive. You can't vote or drink because "society says" those are adult activities which require a certain level of maturity to handle. So does sex. Calm down. Stop being in a rush. Fall in love. It will happen & hopefully with somebody you love because it's so much better then. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 Look, I'm one of the most negative people out there, so trust that I'm not saying this just to give you a false ray of sunshine in a cruel world. You're 17. You've kissed a girl. Probably been on a few dates or at least some date-like activities. No woman worth your time is going to fault you for being a virgin. Focus on school, get into college and just be a generally social guy and you'll be fine. If you were 27 and still in this position, I think it would be time to hit the panic button. But you're not anywhere near that. 3
preraph Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 The biggest problem with an inexperienced guy isn't that he isn't good but that many times his only source of sex info has been porn, and porn isn't about what's good for the woman but what's good for the man, and so you shouldn't go in trying to be good in the sense that you try to bust a move you got off watching porn because that will send the woman running for the hills. So forget anything you may have learned from that source because you won't be doing most of it unless you're paying a prostitute. Especially on the first few dates. Sex comes pretty naturally. Don't worry about being good the first time. Worry about being affectionate leading up to it. You need to do a lot of just kissing before you try to take the next step. If you will spend the time to do that with a girl you'll both get comfortable enough to sort of guide the other by letting each other know what feels good. So don't just jump in. Get a girlfriend and get comfortable and it will come naturally. And then over time you will pick up more diversity and try new things.
Author Spartan040 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 Thanks guys, it's appreciated. And I wasn't planning on being with a random girl, I want an actual girlfriend. I just haven't found anybody so far. Either they've been taken, or uninterested, or unable to date me, or combinations of those. Why, I don't know.
Gloria25 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Regardless of age, everyone has a certain "level" of sexual experience... Once a gf was telling me how a friend of hers, in her 30's, wanted sex, sex, and sex from her husband...Can you believe that despite this woman in her 30's wanting so much sex - that she NEVER, EVER gave a BJ? So, goes to show that that age isn't always an indication of experience. Differences in experience can be fun if the both parties are willing to explore together.... So, I'm willing to work with someone - what I don't appreciate is someone who doesn't know what the heck they are doing, do it thinking they are the "bomb", and aren't open to cleaning up their act.
GH3 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 If you really love someone, sex just feels great because its with them. I wouldn't worry too much about it. And being a virgin beyond 17 or 18 is an accomplishment nowadays. Nothing to be self conscious about 1
evanescentworld Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Thanks guys, it's appreciated. And I wasn't planning on being with a random girl, I want an actual girlfriend. I just haven't found anybody so far. Either they've been taken, or uninterested, or unable to date me, or combinations of those. Why, I don't know. You need to take those rose-tinted specs off. To be blunt, forget about love, at your age. You won't know, recognise and appreciate 'Love' until you're at least in your late 20's. Everything between now and then will be a trial run. What you currently believe to be love, will be an embryonic infatuation and excitement about being with someone of the opposite sex. You'll walk 8-feet off the ground, with your head in the air and your heart will soar - but it won't be love; it will be the thrill of finally being with someone, and the proof and validation every young person requires as proof they're dateable. You are so very young, and as I have heard on TV, you're "not fully cooked yet". That is to say, your thinking process and logic-stations aren't in place, completely. Everything I've said is probably rubbing you up the wrong way. Hell, in your shoes, I'd feel pretty indignant and belittled, too. Sadly, I have the advantage of having been where you are at right now. Most of us have. Don't be in such a rush. Don't hurry the process. Don't wish and fall headlong into something that feels good, and looks right, because sadly, at this age, it won't last. They very, very rarely do. Relax, live life and be more carefree, and less focussed on doing things which appear to be the norm. They're not. You'll risk getting burned, and jaded, and eventually, you may find that hitting relationships at your age, actually leaves you more negative and pessimistic about future outcomes in the long run. As the song goes, "Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth....". (It continues, "oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.") Which is why basically, all of my advice above may have been a complete waste of time. I hope everything pans out for you as it should.
mightycpa Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 You're being way to hard on yourself. Any girl who would turn down an inexperienced 17 year old is denying herself a huge opportunity. Don't worry about it, you have a lot of company at your age. 1
R3d Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Remember, The 40 Year Old Virgin. He got married.... You can be a virgin at any age and get dates. It's never too late. 1
evanescentworld Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Why and how would YOU 'see' how often they use porn? That's creepy... is it a common topic of discussion?
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