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What did he mean by this? He said that I "drove out here for nothing."

Lipitor11

By Lipitor11
in General Relationship Discussion

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
Posted (edited)

I went over to my guy friends place to hook up, so I went down on him first and he came. Well, we didn't have sex because he couldn't get it up, since he already came. Then he said, "I feel bad because you drove out here for nothing." I'm like no... I went to see him and I told him the drive wasn't for nothing, sure we didn't have sex, but I did go down on him.

 

Not sure if it was a good or bad thing for him to say that?

Edited by Lipitor11
OwMyEyeball Established Member

OwMyEyeball

Posted
Posted

Him orgasm = good

 

You no orgasm = bad

 

Not fair exchange

 

Man sad ;(

  • Like 5
MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
Posted

Good thing for him to say. He wishes he could reciprocate.

 

And your answer was fine. Get yours first next time. ;)

  • Like 3
aprilisi Established Member

aprilisi

Posted
Posted

Good, but there are other ways to please a woman

I put up with a man like this for months, he could get it up for oral over and over then be too tired to please me

 

If it happens again, insist that he pleases you another way. A man's reaction to that will tell you alot

  • Like 2
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
Posted

Um why wouldn't you let him go down on you first?

 

When I was single I wouldn't so much as touch a guy until the pleased me first.

 

When you go down on a guy they tend to have an orgasm. Meaning, you DON'T.....

 

Which in my opinion, is a total waste. What is the joy of sucking a guy off who doesn't really care much about you when you get no pleasure in return?

 

I think it would make the guy think less of you? That you come to service him without demanding pleasure in return.

 

I only had my foray into casual sex last year briefly but that is what I learnt from my limited time engaging in such activities.

  • Like 1
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
Posted
Good, but there are other ways to please a woman

I put up with a man like this for months, he could get it up for oral over and over then be too tired to please me

 

If it happens again, insist that he pleases you another way. A man's reaction to that will tell you alot

 

Yeah.... You should seek out men who are highly attracted to you and are dying to please you. That's what I did when I was single.

 

Where's the fun in pleasing a guy who doesn't have a strong urge to please you?

 

What is the use in hooking up with a guy who doesn't show you that he finds you very desirable and someone he has urges to please?

 

At least for me, it would have really damaged my self esteem if I were to give myself away, intimately, to men who didnt have that much of a desire to please me.

 

From my experience, there are normally plenty of single men who would LOVE to please you.

 

It at least makes you feel desirable and attractive when you are after casual sex, to go after guys who are keen to please you.

 

I highly discourage any woman for settling for any less when they choose to engage in casual sex. I just don't see how it could feel good to be a sexually servant to a man who isn't al that attracted to you enough to be dying to please you.

 

Take care......

  • Like 4
Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
Um why wouldn't you let him go down on you first?

 

When I was single I wouldn't so much as touch a guy until the pleased me first.

 

When you go down on a guy they tend to have an orgasm. Meaning, you DON'T.....

 

Which in my opinion, is a total waste. What is the joy of sucking a guy off who doesn't really care much about you when you get no pleasure in return?

 

I think it would make the guy think less of you? That you come to service him without demanding pleasure in return.

 

I only had my foray into casual sex last year briefly but that is what I learnt from my limited time engaging in such activities.

 

 

Nothing new there...there are endless girls/women doing just that as long as the guy/man is good looking/handsome on a regular basis on a typical friday night and in temp relationships

 

Oh...and you are wrong about having an orgasm when a woman goes down on you.....that is completely false, as not everyone is good at it :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

Posted
Posted

You blew it friend.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
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Yeah, so he's done and that means his hands are broken??

  • Like 1
StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

Posted
Posted

He was trying to be nice. Don't worry about it. At least he didn't kick you out of his house. Wait did he?

  • Like 1
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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Good, but there are other ways to please a woman

I put up with a man like this for months, he could get it up for oral over and over then be too tired to please me

 

If it happens again, insist that he pleases you another way. A man's reaction to that will tell you alot

 

Well, he was pleasing me too while I was giving him oral, we were doing the 69, we have done this before actually having sex, but to my surprise he came fast.

Ronni_W Established Member

Ronni_W

Posted
Posted

Lipitor11,

If I understand it correctly, you both came...you just didn't have penetrative sex?

 

In his mind, I guess, a "hook-up" necessarily includes intercourse. In that case, he would have had the same reaction/feeling if he had driven to your place and the same thing happened...or didn't happen, as the case may be.

 

If anything, his comment just gives you a bit more insight into his way of thinking on this matter; it's a neutral, neither "good" nor "bad".

  • Author
Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Lipitor11,

If I understand it correctly, you both came...you just didn't have penetrative sex?

 

In his mind, I guess, a "hook-up" necessarily includes intercourse. In that case, he would have had the same reaction/feeling if he had driven to your place and the same thing happened...or didn't happen, as the case may be.

 

If anything, his comment just gives you a bit more insight into his way of thinking on this matter; it's a neutral, neither "good" nor "bad".

 

He came, I didn't.

Elias33 Established Member

Elias33

Posted
Posted

I think the guy didn't mean it badly. If that is what you're after.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
Posted

Generally, many boyfriends or guys who really care for you will finish the girl off and give her an orgasm each lovemaking or hook up session.

 

When it comes to casual encounters, not as many men will go through extra mile for you......

 

When I was single, I sought out men who I had genuine MUTUAL chemistry with and who a f sully had urges to please me.

 

There are men I have men who ENJOY getting a girl off even if it is only a casual or one night thing.

 

Why don't you just ensure that this guy starts off on you, before you move on to him? Your reason being " I get more into sex after I orgasm, where as you are done with experiencing pleasure once your orgasm and are less likely to enjoy getting me off once your pleasure has been taken care of"

 

I would add " this isn't a relationship so I feel a bit uncomfortable expecting you to please me after you have already came.... That's more a thing a bf would do for me. So from now on I'd rather that I get to orgasm first"

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
He came, I didn't.

 

And he just stopped?

 

Was he paralyzed from the orgasm?

 

Some guys are really lame. I can get hard again within one minute after I cum. Half the time I don't even get soft until the girl no longer wants it.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
I went over to my guy friends place to hook up, so I went down on him first and he came. Well, we didn't have sex because he couldn't get it up, since he already came. Then he said, "I feel bad because you drove out here for nothing." I'm like no... I went to see him and I told him the drive wasn't for nothing, sure we didn't have sex, but I did go down on him.

 

Not sure if it was a good or bad thing for him to say that?

 

Come on OP, how old are you? He felt embarrassed that he couldn't satisfy you. A lot of guys feel that way if they think they didn't last long enough. How is this news?

  • Like 2
Ronni_W Established Member

Ronni_W

Posted
Posted
He came, I didn't.

So then that's why he said it. I mean, I think for most and no matter who is doing the driving for a "hook-up", there probably is an expectation that there will be a pay-off in form of orgasm(s).

 

In any case, based on what he said, that seems to be what HE thinks-believes; how HE feels about hook-ups.

Given that you don't feel put-out about it, clearly you don't share his view/feeling.

But still his comment was just an expression of where he's at; not a "good" or a "bad" reflection on anything else.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
I went over to my guy friends place to hook up, so I went down on him first and he came. Well, we didn't have sex because he couldn't get it up, since he already came. Then he said, "I feel bad because you drove out here for nothing." I'm like no... I went to see him and I told him the drive wasn't for nothing, sure we didn't have sex, but I did go down on him.

 

Not sure if it was a good or bad thing for him to say that?

 

:confused:

 

Huh?

 

Not sure what you're asking.

 

You came to hook up and didn't get sex or pleasured yourself...but went down on him. For me, and also for him, he doesn't see you going down on him as much of a mutual hook up. It seemed more like you went over and serviced him and he gave you nothing in return really, so you were gonna end up leaving "empty-handed" so to speak.

 

Unless of course going down on him was just as satisfying to you as if he went down on you or you had sex.

 

But I'm not sure what you're confused about in terms of what he said. It seems pretty straight forward.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted

Lets not forget, some women just prefer to go down on men and derive satisfaction from that be it in a car, elevator, washroom etc

 

Regardless, as a non selfish person myself, I always try and repay the compliment in some way shape or form

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

Personally I find oral sex far more intimate than t'other. I don't want a man to go down on me unless I completely trust him. It makes me feel incredibly vulnerable and as such there are times when I can't enjoy it as much as perhaps I should if I could relax.

 

Back to OP though. He probably just feels disappointed that it didn't go as planned and no - its not normal to continue with your erection after ejaculation. Its normal to need a break, catch your breath and then go again. You know the old adage "roll over and go to sleep"? There is a reason why that happens - I can't remember the science behind it but the vast majority of men are "programmed" to push up a few zzz's after sex and are shattered after. He probably feels bad about that.

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