missinglink Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 So, I gave it all some more deep thought. As if what I had done wasn't enough thinking. But I finally think I have it all sorted out. The outline: Together with girlfriend for 3.5 years Always had some level of doubt about the relationship after a few months in Things felt like I was doing them for her but not because I personally wanted to I love everything about her, our relationship, how she treats me, etc. I'm just not in love with her I think I know why the love is there but I'm not in it. Sex was never a big deal to me. I'm not a virgin, she is, I've respected that and admire that she is saving it for marriage. I am fine without sex, but I feel that a relationship without sex is lacking a certain connection that can only be achieved through the bond of sex. I used to think that sex wasn't that important in a relationship and would dismiss the issue. But now I think it is important in a proper relationship. I don't not love my girlfriend, It's just that I love her in a different way. I love her like a sister or a best friend. It is the sex that breaks the barrier between friends and can make them something more. Sure I don't kiss my friends or even partake in foreplay, but there is another level of connection that comes with sex that cannot be found any other way. Please correct me if I'm wrong on this idea. But is it not true? I feel like we are just friends more than lovers. I can't even bring myself to foreplay with her anymore because something just feels off. Is it wrong of me to see things this way?
ThorntonMelon Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 It's not wrong of you to feel anything you feel. The question is acting on those feelings. I think you owe it to your girlfriend to share your feelings honestly. Maybe she'll dump you after you tell her - but I think you both deserve to discuss things straight up and honestly and see how she feels about it. 1
me85 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) I have to say, kudos for you for staying with someone for that long without having sex with them. That's very noble of you. But you are not happy so you must walk away now. I understand completely how you feel and would feel the same way. Sex is immensely important in a RS. Sure, you can be a match without the sex and still connect, but to bond through intercourse is a much higher level of connection. Oh and yeah, like Thorton said...have you told her how you feel? Edited September 5, 2014 by me85
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Like I said in your other post sex may play a part in it, but even with sex you can still fall out of love. The relationship has run it's course, she is not the one for you, now it's time to harden the F up and move on.
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