Depressed Fiance - what did she say?

[Hollywood-Tourist]

It's natural for you to care about her. And sure, therapy would not only help the "relationship", but also herself - the route of violence is destructive in every aspect. But, you can't save her from herself. It would be amazing if people suddenly "woke up", society could replace prisons with psychologists. But it just isn't possible.

 

I think she's capable of far more. At the same time I hope nobody will ever trigger her to test her limits or whatever goes on in her mind.

 

That's a fair post.

 

 

I also believe that if pushed she could be capable of a lot more too. She has possibly just shown a small fraction of her violent tendencies with what she did to the dog & of course what she did to me.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

What exactly did she say to you when you spoke to her? How did the conversation go?

 

 

She just said I don't want to speak to you just now, don't contact me until I contact you.

 

 

The conversation was really short because she sounded 'offended' that I'd called her to find out what the f*ck was happening with us.

 

 

I kept my cool & explained that I wanted to meet up to talk etc but she said she wasn't ready for that yet because she is still angry & is scared of me (which is a bit rich considering, it should be the other way about & me scared of her.)

 

Im a bit confused, did she say she doesn't want to speak to you anymore?

 

 

Not as such, just that she wasn't ready to at the moment.

 

Its almost as if she's trying to put the blame on you for her actions...sounds like my ex.

 

She is putting the blame on me because she can't accept any responsibility.

[lauri]

I was in a similar situation with my ex trying to put the blame on me for all the things that happened during / after the breakup. I tried to show her by telling her through words but she didn't listen. The only way she finally apologized to me was through the silence I kept for over 7 months...by that time I was over the hump and able to make a sound decision.

 

She knows deep down inside she's wrong...but the only way to get her to finally admit it is by NC and disappearing. I really do hope for your sake she admits it and stops trying to put the blame on you...she has to take responsibility for her actions. But just for my experience alone, don't waste your time and energy trying to convince her this.

[BC1980]

She just said I don't want to speak to you just now, don't contact me until I contact you.

 

So you are supposed to sit around and wait until she is ready to talk? Why do you have to wait for her to decided if you are a couple anymore? I think you should decide it's over and never speak to her again.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

She knows deep down inside she's wrong...but the only way to get her to finally admit it is by NC and disappearing.

 

 

Easier said than done. The no contact as it is has already got to me so much & it's getting to the point where I can't take anymore.

 

 

I just can't disappear & forget about her, that is the total opposite of what I want to do.

 

 

It's so frustrating because she is in the wrong, knows deep down that she is & is now going cold turkey on me.

 

 

I really do hope for your sake she admits it and stops trying to put the blame on you...she has to take responsibility for her actions.

 

She's too pig headed for that & stubborn.

[No Limit]

I also believe that if pushed she could be capable of a lot more too. She has possibly just shown a small fraction of her violent tendencies with what she did to the dog & of course what she did to me.

 

These actions were just her start. I'm just glad that people who are... troubled like her aren't smart enough to work on nuclear weapons.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

So you are supposed to sit around and wait until she is ready to talk?

 

 

Of course not.

 

 

But I have been trying to keep myself busy in the mean time with things like walks/runs etc but there's only so much of that you can do before you get bored.

 

 

Why do you have to wait for her to decided if you are a couple anymore?

 

 

Who knows.

 

 

Maybe I should take control and say we are a couple and that we are getting back together.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

These actions were just her start. I'm just glad that people who are... troubled like her aren't smart enough to work on nuclear weapons.

 

Do you mean she could be capable of murder if pushed?

[No Limit]

Do you mean she could be capable of murder if pushed?

 

Yes, I do. I'm actually absolutely sure of it.

My father (a man far from regular "normal innocence" from the laws' point of view; not a murderer though) choked my mother only once (during her pregnancy!) after years of "problematic" behavior patterns. She on the other hand started with a random attack, without any signs of aggressions before that.

 

She's a time bomb.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

My father (a man far from regular "normal innocence" from the laws' point of view; not a murderer though) choked my mother only once (during her pregnancy!) after years of "problematic" behavior patterns. She on the other hand started with a random attack, without any signs of aggressions before that.

 

She's a time bomb.

 

And are they still together?

[Strength in Healing]

Do you have any proof of what happened? Are her parents willing to testify against their own daughter? Do you have pictures of your bruises?

 

 

Just thought I'd chime in...

 

First off, as for if the parents are willing to testify against their child: they don't have a choice, if they're subpenaed. They refuse to testify, they get obstruction. They lie under oath, they get perjury. A married couple cannot be compelled to testify against each other, but parent to child is not protected.

 

And to depressed... statute of limitations in most states is 2 years on domestic violence, you COULD still report it, BUT a court of justice would question why you waited so long, and any decent lawyer would argue you had a reason to bring it to light NOW versus when it happened. Would go nowhere.

 

I only read to page 2 of this topic so I apologize if anything changed since.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

First off, as for if the parents are willing to testify against their child: they don't have a choice, if they're subpenaed. They refuse to testify, they get obstruction.

 

 

Either way, the parents would be forced to tell the truth even if that did mean 'betraying' their daughter.

 

 

And to depressed... statute of limitations in most states is 2 years on domestic violence, you COULD still report it, BUT a court of justice would question why you waited so long, and any decent lawyer would argue you had a reason to bring it to light NOW versus when it happened. Would go nowhere.

 

Would my reason for fear of what might have happened to me in the meantime be a valid reason in the courts' eyes do you think if that was my response to why did I leave it this long to report it?

 

 

Surely agreeing with the lawyer and by raising a case of Domestic Violence to the authorities, it would be seen as a courageous thing.

 

 

Because many DV cases go unreported especially by male victims.

[ThorntonMelon]

Maybe I should take control and say we are a couple and that we are getting back together.

 

This has now tied the listing of her Good and Bad traits as the most batsh-t crazy thing posted in this thread.

 

D-F I am assuming this isn't the greatest fishing effort in the history of LS and that you actually have lost your mind. So if this is on Candid Camera, know that only about 50% of me believes this is legit, but much like a car crash, I can't stop looking.

 

At this point no one is going to any police officers, and you know that, except I am afraid you're going to start stalking her sooner than later and then she will go to the cops.

 

You're acting like you're just about ready to snap. The lack of acceptance of reality here is appalling. I say that just in case there is a sane piece of you that might process that even while your emotional state is crumbling. If I was your friend or parent I'd check you into a facility. Legit.

 

You don't need a message board, you need major therapy. We can't help you. 100% of people know she has dumped you and I would bet she is probably sleeping with another man. I can predict your response ("There's NO evidence of that") and you're right, I'm not obsessed with her, so I don't care who she's f---ing. But she is acting like someone who dumped her crazy ex and is afraid he's going to do something really stupid once she completely pulls the cord, so she's avoiding him with all her might, but isn't actually ending it, hoping he'll take the hint and go away without a terrible confrontation.