2005tahoe Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I have had several dates over the past year. A little background, My dad was 14 years older than my mom. They met when he was 35 and she was 21 and they stayed married until he died at age 69. My dad was old fashioned with how he treated women, like, opening doors, pulling out seats, paying for meals, etc. So thats where I get it from. But it seems like that kind of treatment scares women off. I had a date Sunday, we went for a nice meal and to a movie that she suggested. We talked, laughed and shared certain looks to each other out of interest. We usually communicate everyday via text but naturally those have slowed down. She agreed to a second date and I asked her to go to a major league baseball game with me at the end of the month. She said she would let me know her schedule and let me know. So, here it is 3 days later and I have not heard from her at all. She is active on facebook and has liked some of my post. I would usually text her every morning with "good morning", sometimes she responds, sometimes she doesnt. I would reach out but I am afraid that I am getting annoying to her or clingy. I dont want to lose interest in her or vice versa. How do I reach out without being annoying? She has mentioned that she likes my persistance when it came to asking her out. ( I asked her out 6 times before she finally agreed to go). I am just so lost. What do I do?
BluEyeL Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Why so long between a first and a second date? Can't you ask her out for next week? Just dinner or a walk or something?
PegNosePete Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 opening doors, pulling out seats, paying for meals, etc. So thats where I get it from. But it seems like that kind of treatment scares women off. What? Rubbish. Many things scare women off but politeness is not one of them. She said she would let me know her schedule and let me know. So, here it is 3 days later and I have not heard from her at all. Well, this is not a good sign, if she really wanted to go then she would have said "yes" rather than "I'll let you know", and even if she wasn't sure she would have let you know by now. How do I reach out without being annoying? She has mentioned that she likes my persistance when it came to asking her out. ( I asked her out 6 times before she finally agreed to go). Ehhh... OK. So you badgered and badgered her into a date and eventually she gave in. Dude that is not a good thing. She liked your persistence? Rubbish, she either only agreed to shut you up, or she had nothing better to do. Seems like she wasn't really interested in the first place. But anyway I would just send her a reminder, asking if she's checked her schedule yet. Anything less than a "yes I have a free day on XXX", forget her and move on. 2
Author 2005tahoe Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 I asked her out after our first date and she agreed but said she would have to check her schedule. This past tuesday I texted her and asked her about going out on the second date and she said she had to work the rest of this week and the weekend. I have not talked or texted her since saying good night on tuesday. I dont want to ruin it with her but I dont want her thinking that I dont care or not interested.
cristalina Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I would just send her a reminder, asking if she's checked her schedule yet. Anything less than a "yes I have a free day on XXX", forget her and move on. I agree with this. Send one more message asking if she checked her schedule. If she doesn't give you a definite then it's time to move on. Good luck! - Cris
PegNosePete Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I dont want to ruin it with her but I dont want her thinking that I dont care or not interested. Ruin what? I am sorry to say, it seems she doesn't care or is not interested anyway so it doesn't matter what she thinks your intentions are. If she was interested she would have tacked "but I am free Wednesday!" onto the end of her last message. 2
longjohn Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 What? Rubbish. Many things scare women off but politeness is not one of them. Tell that to the lady I dated who said I was "too formal". Too formal because for some strange reason I too open doors, pay for the meal and otherwise be a gentleman with a lady. OP if I where you I'd call her, ask her out to lunch or dinner in the next few days. Before you meet for the game. That will give you a chance to see if she's interested and if so you can at least talk some more to her. If she's not interested she may not answer or respond to your call. Either way you'll get some answers.
PegNosePete Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Tell that to the lady I dated who said I was "too formal". Too formal because for some strange reason I too open doors, pay for the meal and otherwise be a gentleman with a lady. 1) It's not the fact that you did those things, it's the too-formal way in which you did them. 2) She didn't fancy you and was making up excuses.
Jules Dash Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 OP, she is not interested in you. She got your hopes up by giving you a date. You got your shot and it didn't work out. Think of all the guys who don't even get the shot. Their posts are all over this place.
Zippy2000 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 If you go through the other threads on the dating forum. There lots of information of "slow fades" to the "disappearing act". You my friend are not alone. The truth is out the. "The Ex Files" lol
slizl Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 You asked her out 6 times before she said yes? She keeps you around because you are an ego boost to her. She will drop you the second something better comes along. I would break up with her asap.
Recommended Posts