Popcorn07 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I'm completely new to this and I'm sorry this is going to be a long one! My fiancé of 6 years has been under a lot of stress and pressure in the last couple months due to me not working, all bills ect are on his shoulders, and having a very stressful job. I knew he was finding it tough but he never sat down and actually talked to me about and how I could help. Then just a week ago he came home from work went and got a couple of tshirts and just left without saying a word to me or even looking at me. He then blocked me on his phone so I couldn't contact him obviously I was worried sick i didn't know if he was ok or not. He didn't get in contact with me until 24 hours later saying he needed space, so I respected that even though I didn't understand why at the time. Then a couple of days ago he comes round to explain to me why he's left and that it's over. His excuses for this was that on a couple of occasions I didn't have his dinner ready on the table for when he got home and that the flat wasn't spotless. I'm still soo confused and struggling to accept the break up and understand where it went wrong. Only a few days before he walked out he was telling me how much he loved me and talking about the wedding and getting excited for it he had our first dance song chosen and his speech almost all written out. Anyone got any constructive advice on what I should do next? Obviously I don't want it to be the end I know we can work through this we've had arguments worse than this before! It just doesn't seem right to throw 6 years of everything being thrown at us and growing together ect and hard work for a few measly excuses. To me it sounds like he's having a bit of a breakdown about all the things in his life that might not be going exactly how he had to planned. Any help and advice would be very much appreciated I'm going out of my mind and extremely upset
Bella2 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I'm completely new to this and I'm sorry this is going to be a long one! My fiancé of 6 years has been under a lot of stress and pressure in the last couple months due to me not working, all bills ect are on his shoulders, and having a very stressful job. I knew he was finding it tough but he never sat down and actually talked to me about and how I could help. Then just a week ago he came home from work went and got a couple of tshirts and just left without saying a word to me or even looking at me. He then blocked me on his phone so I couldn't contact him obviously I was worried sick i didn't know if he was ok or not. He didn't get in contact with me until 24 hours later saying he needed space, so I respected that even though I didn't understand why at the time. Then a couple of days ago he comes round to explain to me why he's left and that it's over. His excuses for this was that on a couple of occasions I didn't have his dinner ready on the table for when he got home and that the flat wasn't spotless. I'm still soo confused and struggling to accept the break up and understand where it went wrong. Only a few days before he walked out he was telling me how much he loved me and talking about the wedding and getting excited for it he had our first dance song chosen and his speech almost all written out. Anyone got any constructive advice on what I should do next? Obviously I don't want it to be the end I know we can work through this we've had arguments worse than this before! It just doesn't seem right to throw 6 years of everything being thrown at us and growing together ect and hard work for a few measly excuses. To me it sounds like he's having a bit of a breakdown about all the things in his life that might not be going exactly how he had to planned. Any help and advice would be very much appreciated I'm going out of my mind and extremely upset I'm sorry for you!! These are tough things to handle. I don't know, maybe he really is very stressed. Did he already had doubts before?? I guess you should give him some time and space, as he says he needs...
Author Popcorn07 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 As far as I know he didn't, we only got engaged like 3 months ago. He said he's been feeling stressed and down the last month or so but if he was really as unhappy as he says he was surely he wouldn't be able to be loving towards me and talk about getting married ect.
Bella2 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Do you still have daily contact? If you do so, don't try to sound desperate etc. You will regret this later on. Would he be willing to sit down and have an honest talk? Maybe not immediately, but in a couple of weeks, when things have cooled down and he might have a clearer view on things?
Author Popcorn07 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 We have done since he came round and spoke to me, when he left he rang my friends and family to go round and be with me so I was ok?! He then text me that same night and the next morning he's agreed we can go for a drink or meet us in a few weeks time and see how things are. I need to chill out on the contact front as I'm finding myself getting upset and just having text vomit!!
Bella2 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I understand, it sucks Give him time and space, I guess. Maybe it really is all based on stress (can't imagine he would leave you for not having dinner ready...). Maybe it's more than that. I think you have to try (TRY HARD!) to be patient and wait and see. 1
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