SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Hello I'm new here and this is my first post. I have shadowed a few threads here and they have all been a tremendous help. Looking for some help and prospective from you guys. So basically I met this girl, and we hit it off from the start.I picked up all the body language hits that she was interested; Lots of smiling, laughing, physical contact, etc. I got her phone number and set up a dinner date for the next night. We went to dinner and said goodbye. let her know I had a great time and wanted to see her again. She agreed and said she would like to see me again. I made sure we had contact, and we ended the night with a hug. We continued to exchange texts and everything was going great. Continued texting for 3 days. She offers and then proceeds to comes over with her girl friend to hang out after I tell her I'm sitting around bored. SHE asks me to go and meet some more of her friends with her. Ok cool. So we do that, and afterwards she invites me over for a movie. We go back to her place and watch a movie, we kiss some, do some cuddling/ spooning etc. She says she wants to do it again sometime. It gets late and the night ends with me going back to my place because she says she does not let guys stay the night that soon in a relationship. (Side note: She called the pillow we were laying on her "Boyfriend Pillow"? We continue to text. Try to set up another date but schedules conflict. We agree to work out date two days later after she says she wants to take a workout class with me. I talk to her that day of our workout date and she says that she forgot but SHE suggests the next day as an alternate. I tell her that would work and ask her to let me know what time she is free that day. No Response or text from her since then. 4 days later I run into her twice. Once She is with another guy, and actually tells me she is headed to the gym with him... Seriously? The second time I saw her I only managed to get in a "hey, how are you?" as she was entering a building while I was headed up some stairs. She responded with a "pretty good, and a smile" Its 5 days later since I asked her to text with no response and I'm trying to figure out where I went wrong. I feel led on as she suggested an alternate date and then never replied to my texts after seeing me in person with no mention as to what happened. I really liked this girl and we clicked on multiple levels. Physically and mentally. How should I proceed? and Can you see where I went wrong? Is it some kind of test? I have never been in a situation like this where a girl suggested an alternate and never followed through. Thanks a bunch for any help
todreaminblue Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 some times text messages dont get sent to right numbers..or they gt lost in cyberspace and turn up too late.....had that happen .. i once got a message asking if i wanted some yummy vietnamese food bought over....the other day actually......obviously it wasnt for me because i have a phobia about the alien eggs that are all slimy that they commonly have in vietnamese food some kind of greyish mushroom..........you should call her and ask directly if she got your message unless you knwo for sure she isnt answering .......dont leave it.......deb
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 I would think that would be a legitimate possibility, but there was never any mention on her part of a missed text the two times I ran into her. I'm concerned that I will seem too eager and overbearing by asking about it too soon, but its been 5 days. Do you think now is an appropriate time to ask her about it, or should I wait a little longer?
Zippy2000 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Well, in my job I work in IT. There is no such thing as a lost text. There IS a possibility texts don`t get sent but your phone will report that with "MESSAGE NOT SENT", but this was on older analogue phones not with 3G Smart phones. To answer your question if she is interested. I believe its a no. If you saw her twice already she would of mentioned it. Shes skirting round the issue. For her not to answer its because shes doing the slow fade. This is exactly something that happened to me last year when I met a girl for drinks. We got on. Asked her for a second date and she couldnt bring herself to say no but always made up excuses or never brought up the subject at all. Looking back now I feel a bit of a fool as I didnt see the signs. Here are your signs 1. Its been almost a week. If she was interested she would have text back or called you. 2. You ran into her NOT just once and twice and no mention. Shes had a change of mind or heart. Take you pick but this is something similar what happened to me last year. The girl who I was interested in? Shes now with another man. So here is your number 3 sign She was going to the gym with another man. 1
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 Aww man, that's what I was afraid to hear. I guess I just find it amazing that a girl would be willing to make out with me, do some spooning, etc. drop hints like using the word "boyfriend" while suggesting future endeavors, and arrange an alternate day for a date even though all this time she is not interested. Why would a girl lead a guy on like that?
Jules Dash Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Aww man, that's what I was afraid to hear. I guess I just find it amazing that a girl would be willing to make out with me, do some spooning, etc. drop hints like using the word "boyfriend" while suggesting future endeavors, and arrange an alternate day for a date even though all this time she is not interested. Why would a girl lead a guy on like that? It happens all the time in the dating game. It would be a huge waste of your time trying to figure out where exactly you may have gone wrong, especially since you probably did nothing wrong. It really isn't convincing that you were led on. People can have quick changes of heart when dating and it mostly proceeds in the negative direction. I would not contact and let her get back to you if she decides to. In the mean time, date.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I think she wanted sex and you did not go any further than what you did. Seems like she wanted you to take charge and take her. Been through stuff like that, and wondered afterwards was having sex worth it. Meaning I feel like things could have been better if sex was not the main focus. But that is just me. At least you have your dignity and feel shortened in the relationship and not used.
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 Thanks for the advise brahs, really helpful and taken to heart. She wants something to happen, she'll have to put the work in cause I'm done. 1
cristalina Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 From a girl's perspective, it definitely sounds like she's doing the slow fade. For some reason she had a change of heart. You more than likely did absolutely nothing wrong. She did. She should have been up front and said something along the lines of, "I changed my mind" or "sorry, but I just don't feel like this is right" or "I just don't feel the chemistry." The dating scene is rough, and people would get on a lot better with more honesty. I wouldn't even think twice about her, and go ahead and have some more dates with other people. - Cris 1
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) Another question... Sorry for all them but never struck out with a girl like this before. I'm really curious as to what actually happened, and I know she is not obligated to give me an answer, but what would be the best way to go about asking her?? Would it be appropriate to do so? I'm just curious and the fact that I have ran into her a few times makes it kinda awkward not knowing, I'd rather know and be on good terms. Edited September 5, 2014 by jab116
Jules Dash Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Another question... Sorry for all them but never struck out with a girl like this before. I'm really curious as to what actually happened, and I know she is not obligated to give me an answer, but what would be the best way to go about asking her?? Would it be appropriate to do so? I'm just curious and the fact that I have ran into her a few times makes it kinda awkward not knowing, I'd rather know and be on good terms. Do not ask. I know how curious you may be but it is not a good idea and definitely won't be a turn on. You did nothing wrong. People just have changes of heart for what ever reason that is good enough for them. 1
cristalina Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Another question... Sorry for all them but never struck out with a girl like this before. I'm really curious as to what actually happened, and I know she is not obligated to give me an answer, but what would be the best way to go about asking her?? Would it be appropriate to do so? I'm just curious and the fact that I have ran into her a few times makes it kinda awkward not knowing, I'd rather know and be on good terms. As difficult as it is, don't ask. She's choosing to ignore you, and honestly you don't want a girl like that anyway. Being honest is always the right thing to do, and she chose to not be. Move along. You deserve better. 1
longjohn Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Sounds like she was dating you and others. Make no mistake the chances are very high with the same carrier that an SMS has made it without issue. Most likely thing happened is she thought she got a better deal from the other guy and has chosen to ignore you. I doubt you did anything wrong. In this day and age there is little in the way of dating etiquette or niceties. People just do as they please for themselves and care little for others. Don't be surprised if she resurfaces in a few weeks/months if she does be sure she's pegged you in the number 2 slot while some other meathead was in the number 1 slot. Don't ever allow yourself or settle to be the number 2 guy. If I were you I'd move on. Eventually you'll find a decent woman out there actually interested in you and what you have to offer. 3
cristalina Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Don't be surprised if she resurfaces in a few weeks/months if she does be sure she's pegged you in the number 2 slot while some other meathead was in the number 1 slot. Don't ever allow yourself or settle to be the number 2 guy. If I were you I'd move on. Eventually you'll find a decent woman out there actually interested in you and what you have to offer. This right here. 1
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 Thanks everyone! You have been a huge help so far! If anyone has any other input I would love to hear it. I will post any updates here if they arise
Jules Dash Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 . Most likely thing happened is she thought she got a better deal from the other guy and has chosen to ignore you. I doubt you did anything wrong. Often this is the case. Our ego wants us to always to win the Gold but sometimes we just have to accept the silver and keep moving.
preraph Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I'm saying she has another boyfriend she's keen on. She sounds impulsive. That comment about the pillow was just odd. I think she's probably really pursuing this other guy. Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Sounds like she needs to figure out what to do instead of stirring men up impulsively and then leaving them to twist in the wind. Her bad, not yours.
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 I thought that comment was strange as well. That comment made me think for a while that I moved too fast and she wanted a little break, but obviously that's not the case. Thanks for the input.
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 Looking back on it after reading a bunch more topics in this category, I honestly think she was expecting sex. She invited me over to her place and we did some kissing/ spooning/ cuddling, but never had sex. She did at one point fall asleep on me during the movie so I figured she was tired and it was out of the question. One thing she did say before I left was, "I've never had a boy stay the night before" so probably just looking for a booty call. In hindsight I think she was put off by my lack of escalation. Too bad there is nothing I can do now, even if that was the case. Of course I could be totally wrong and she could have completely unrelated reasons. Just thought I'd share my thoughts reflecting back and vent a little. any more inputs are more than welcome, ya'll have been a big help
Jules Dash Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 You are searching for answers that you will never ever get. This is just speculation at best. You really think she is not interested in you because you didn't go for sex on one particular night? If that really is the case, you would have been nothing more than a one night stand. She lost interest just because... you did nothing wrong. This happens. She did nothing wrong and neither did you. This is what happens when women and men mingle.
Author SomeDude16 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 uhhhhh, I know your right deep down inside and thats what I hate the most. I really hate losing. I really really hate the unknown.
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