btvdts Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I've read here a couple of times that once you find love again, it will make you get over your ex completely. I got dumped almost a year ago. for starters, I suck at dating. since then I've gone out with 2 girls on two dates each. nothing happened past that. I have been trying to work on myself the past year and I feel like I've accomplished quite a bit. One thing that I have not done since the break up is be intimate with anyone. Did that help anyone? Just getting the physical part into your life again? I have had the opportunity but I honestly didn't want to. I never have been the type of guy to date multiple girls at once. hell I don't even know how to do that lol. some of my friends said to try doing that, but honestly I don't even know how about doing that. Lately my ex has been popping up in my mind a lot. a lot of dreams about her and what not. we have had no contact for the past year. at this point I really wish I never thought about her, but **** happens. sorry I'm not even sure what the point of this was, just ranting I guess. keep your head up my friends...soon enough we will all be at a better place.
Reels Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 You were not in the situation that you could date again. Until you are not sure, you should not attempt.
me85 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 This happens. It's very normal. I have dated 3 guys since my BU. I fooled around with all of them and slept with the 3rd. It was around a year before I got to the point of sleeping with someone else. It doesn't change anything. Although these guys were nice, funny, charming...all that...they weren't my ex. But you still have to move forward. I felt like I needed a break after dating because I was progressing so quickly and just seemed a bit forced (on my part) to do so because that's what you're supposed to do, right?? Go on like normal and act like stuff doesn't bother you. Well, it does. And you can run from it all you want but eventually it will catch up to you. Sooner or later we have to face our pain and go through the hard stuff. I, however, had an entire six months of not dating. Almost complete solitude during that time. So I did, in fact, go through the hard stuff but after 6 months I felt ready to date again but until you get to that point of really being ready you shouldn't date. I dated 3 different guys and felt not one single spark with any of them so now I'm back to the whole anti-dating thing again. LOL ...because I realized that's not what I really want anyways. I enjoy being single. Of course I get lonely but I just deal with it until that feeling passes. I feel very strong and above it all right now (hehe) because I can be happy alone and no one else around me can. Such a pity. I'm perfectly content with being on my own. Single life is great. 2
True Gent Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I've read here a couple of times that once you find love again, it will make you get over your ex completely. I got dumped almost a year ago. for starters, I suck at dating. since then I've gone out with 2 girls on two dates each. nothing happened past that. I have been trying to work on myself the past year and I feel like I've accomplished quite a bit. One thing that I have not done since the break up is be intimate with anyone. Did that help anyone? Just getting the physical part into your life again? I have had the opportunity but I honestly didn't want to. I never have been the type of guy to date multiple girls at once. hell I don't even know how to do that lol. some of my friends said to try doing that, but honestly I don't even know how about doing that. Lately my ex has been popping up in my mind a lot. a lot of dreams about her and what not. we have had no contact for the past year. at this point I really wish I never thought about her, but **** happens. sorry I'm not even sure what the point of this was, just ranting I guess. keep your head up my friends...soon enough we will all be at a better place. I know where you're coming from. I haven't been intimate with anyone since my ex. I last had sex with her 11 months ago and the most I've done with someone else since is hold hands and have a kiss. I'm not sure if I suck at dating or if dating itself just sucks... Like yourself I'm not the kind of person to just go around having casual sex, I would rather do without instead of getting physical for the sake of it. I need a real connection with my partner, that's just how I'm wired. I do believe that the only real cure for getting 100% over the ex is finding a new love. I haven't found that yet and like you my ex still creeps into my thoughts even though I don't love her or want her anymore. After a long time with someone they become ingrained in your thoughts, they are a part of you and it's a habit that's hard to break. You're going through totally normal emotions, in time you'll get there. Just believe in yourself. This happens. It's very normal. I have dated 3 guys since my BU. I fooled around with all of them and slept with the 3rd. It was around a year before I got to the point of sleeping with someone else. It doesn't change anything. Although these guys were nice, funny, charming...all that...they weren't my ex. But you still have to move forward. I felt like I needed a break after dating because I was progressing so quickly and just seemed a bit forced (on my part) to do so because that's what you're supposed to do, right?? Go on like normal and act like stuff doesn't bother you. Well, it does. And you can run from it all you want but eventually it will catch up to you. Sooner or later we have to face our pain and go through the hard stuff. I, however, had an entire six months of not dating. Almost complete solitude during that time. So I did, in fact, go through the hard stuff but after 6 months I felt ready to date again but until you get to that point of really being ready you shouldn't date. I dated 3 different guys and felt not one single spark with any of them so now I'm back to the whole anti-dating thing again. LOL ...because I realized that's not what I really want anyways. I enjoy being single. Of course I get lonely but I just deal with it until that feeling passes. I feel very strong and above it all right now (hehe) because I can be happy alone and no one else around me can. Such a pity. I'm perfectly content with being on my own. Single life is great. I can relate to some of your post too, I actually am not really in a hurry for a new relationship. It's my first time being single and fully independent and I'm liking it. Going on dates with no sparks is tedious and time consuming. Heck I can't even be bothered to browse OLD at the moment, the thought of it gives me a headache right now. I'm finding out exactly who I am as an individual and what I can be capable of on my own. You're right single life is great. 2
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