Author JazzyFox Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 I'm so confused ... so, Andrew, I called him back. And he kept asking me why I was so hard to reach, why I didn't call anymore, ... and I said, "well, you are the one who wanted to end this relationship." Pause. Then he says, "I didn't say that." ??? I said "I don't have time to play games" He says: "I'm not playing games. I miss you. I enjoy talking to you." I said "well, I'm not interested in a relationship that is only phone-based. So, I'll let you get back to work, take care, and we'll talk another time." Andrew ... help! What was that all about. Could he be suffering from Alzeimer's at such a young age? Or was he testing me? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Jazzyfox, Youcam out with guns a blazin. You made it clear how you see the relationship, that being that you beleive you are putting in all trhe effort. Ypu slammed him again by saying that you are not interested in relationship that is only phone based. He can now either run if he always has. or he can stand up and acknoledge you for someone who wnats to have a shot at a loving relationship. He would be a fool not too. If he says he misses you he would, I beleive thta you might have scared him. Has he had many relationships before? Keep me posted Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 23, 2005 Author Share Posted March 23, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ If he says he misses you he would, I beleive thta you might have scared him. Has he had many relationships before? He's had plenty of relationships, mostly casual (yet some long-term) since his divorce ten years ago, which means he would often have one steady "friend" and then bang the occasional friendly tourist. Anyways, a bit of an update for you ... since our last convo, see previous post, he has written me two emails (which I have not replied) and sent me a happy easter card (despite the fact that he is jewish!). The emails are pretty casual ... but not his style. It seems that you might be right: I scared him, and he's trying to "casually" keep the communication lines open. But as Recordproducer has previously said, he's pulling my nose with this friends thing. And as I have previously said, if he can't step up to the plate, he doesn't deserve to play the game. Truth is, I don't need more friends. Got plenty, as it is. So my new strategy is to keep it cool. If he calls, I answer. When I get the card, I'll email him back. And apart from that, I'll maintain NC. Ball is in his court. So, question to you is, am I being to hard on him? (sometimes I feel sorry for him - but I still think he needs a dose of tough love) Link to post Share on other sites
fatalist Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 i read your whole dilemma, and i'm somewhat stuck in the same boat, you asked the question if you were too hard on him, IMO i don't think so, your just stepping your game up. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Jazzyfox how does one pull ones nose? You say you have enough freinds does that u mean u want an intimate freind? Personally you can never have enough freinds The ball is in his court? are you sure he knows where he stands ie, he knows how you feel and what u want? IMO if he doesnt know where he stands he will be indecisive. His style in his emails was not his? what does that mean? Feel free to post some more Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 24, 2005 Author Share Posted March 24, 2005 Andrew: bottom line is that he is "stepping up to the plate" albeit VERY tentatively. My best friend (a guy) says that I scared the cr$p out of him, and he is now testing the waters. His communication methods are out of pattern, which shows that he is TRYING to make an effort ... albeit VERY tentatively. For example, I got a present from him in the mail yesterday (the first present ever! and for no occasion). I finally text messaged him, saying "Got present! Beautiful! Thanks". Now in the past 6 months, he has NEVER text messaged me (despite the fact that I programmed his phone with a few messages, and with my numbers, etc) even though I must have sent him maybe 20 messages. Instead, he would call. So what did he do last night? He text messaged me back with "Missu" ??? You see? I had opened the door for him to call me ... but he's obviously scared ... because every phone convo we have had in the past month has turned sour. So he messages me instead. ??? My friend says that when I get the easter card next week, I should give him a call, keep it nice and casual, but ask him exactly where I stand ... "friends neverland" or "let's try again" But I would much rather he call me, and hopefully, this weekend. Happy Easter everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Eggs for all Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Originally posted by JazzyFox [/i??? My friend says that when I get the easter card next week, I should give him a call, keep it nice and casual, but ask him exactly where I stand ... "friends neverland" or "let's try again" Jazzyfox i hope in the easternland im in munchin on eggs that ole mate chooses "lets try again" But remember p.s please excuse my post im in a foreign land Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ Jazzyfox i hope in the easternland im in munchin on eggs that ole mate chooses "lets try again" He has't called. What does that mean? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Jazzyfox, He didnt call? You obviously wanted him to call. Maybee he lost your phone number, or has alzeimeres . Maybee he couldnt sleep all weekend and in the craziness thought calling you was a bad thing. Does he know hwere he stands? If you are sure he does I cant see why he would not call. Unless he just making sure. Any way did he send a text or email or a card? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 I guess I spoke too soon. He called soon after I posted that message, but of course I wasn't home ... So I called him back a few hours later, and we had a really nice conversation It was nice, and friendly, and we caught up on our respective lives, and he was just so ... ... awesome ... But I did not pull the convo into deep waters, and I did not confront him about where I (we) stand, and I just kept it nice and easy, and hung up after 30 minutes. But, listen to this!, about 15 mins into the convo, he starts going on and on about all of our little sexcapades ... and it was just about the closest thing to phone sex without being phone sex. I kept stearing the convo into "cleaner" waters , but he kept reminiscing this time, and that time, and on and on. So, was he just horny or does he "really" miss me? What should I do now? Keep it calm and easy, and let him come to his senses on his own time? Or should I force his hand? He did say this, that he is working absolutely crazy hours (spring break), and he is having a hard time just keeping his head on straight. And he said that in the past, he has always tried to plan things, and they never work out. So now, he just lets the plans come to him. So what do you make out of all this? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 he wants you bad His life is out of his control. Heneeds steering perhaps Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ he wants you bad His life is out of his control. Heneeds steering perhaps Is that really the role I should be playing? Everytime I try to steer, he gets defensive. So is it because I'm not steering right, or because he's not ready to let go of the wheel? My friends say I should stick to the plan: Play it cool, and let him take the lead. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Clearly Jazzyfox this man needs some steering. maybee he has forgotten where the wheel is and if he find sit what he is to do. Your freinds are correct in saying let him lead but maybee he doesnt know how. Just talk to him and tell him exactly whta u want and ask if he steer u that way, if not u both will steer of course into the cosmos But the cosmos is mysterious and wonderfull Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 But should I call? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Definitely Set the controls for the heart of the sun Link to post Share on other sites
Author JazzyFox Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 And what do I say? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Say: My freind does the blood in your heart pump blood through your veins and mind for me? If so I beleive we need to establish some sort of island cause we both seem to be adrift. You can stay on my island if you are prepared to put in the effort We can grow coconuts and swim in the sea Link to post Share on other sites
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