preraph Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 And to go further to cover myself I plan to drive to a different county and mail it from their post office. I won't mail it from the county I live in. But the poster who said to not make it expensive you are right. 30 dollars was an estimate after adding up all the postage fees. The gift itself would be less than 10 bucks. If she doesn't think it is from me then I will feel good knowing I did a good deed in secret. Ideally it is better that people don't know the source of the good deed. Let her speculate but that's all. It's not a good deed. It's creepy. It's made creepier by the fact you're going to such lengths to drive to a different country. You don't care about this girl. You are trying to creep her out. I bet she already knows you're the type to do this too.
Mr Scorpio Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Well she does believe in the supernatural so I have to make it look like it was sent from an angel or from God. Heaven does not have a return address. Well, .
Author Darren2013 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 It is complicated. Here is the thing. There are clues that lead to the very real possibility that she may have a crush on me and is reacting the same way I am. We both went quiet on each other and started avoiding each other around the same time. When I see her walking by I look away from her quickly out of shyness. She does the same thing when I walk by her. Now I can't be sure whether we are both avoiding each other for the same reason. It could be that she is waiting for me to break the ice just like I am waiting for her to talk to me.
Mr Scorpio Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Now I can't be sure whether we are both avoiding each other for the same reason. It could be that she is waiting for me to break the ice just like I am waiting for her to talk to me. I have an idea of a "safe" way you could break the ice. Walk up to her and ask her if she'd like to go out with you.
preraph Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Of course, the fact you're sending it to her work will tell her right away it's someone she works with. Women always know who's acting weird around them like this.
Author Darren2013 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Posted September 5, 2014 It's not a good deed. It's creepy. It's made creepier by the fact you're going to such lengths to drive to a different country. You don't care about this girl. You are trying to creep her out. I bet she already knows you're the type to do this too. I am driving to a different county not country. The point is to mail it from a post office that is not in the same town I live in
MGX Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) It is complicated. Here is the thing. There are clues that lead to the very real possibility that she may have a crush on me and is reacting the same way I am. We both went quiet on each other and started avoiding each other around the same time. When I see her walking by I look away from her quickly out of shyness. She does the same thing when I walk by her. Now I can't be sure whether we are both avoiding each other for the same reason. It could be that she is waiting for me to break the ice just like I am waiting for her to talk to me. That might not be a good thing, Darren. You could be misreading her completely, which is a common thing that guys on this site do with women. You never told us why don't you go up to her and tell her about how you feel about her or at least attempt to ask her out. Are you shy? Afraid of rejection? Don't want to cause trouble in the workplace in case you fail? I don't think you're a pervert or creepy, but simply very shy. Of course, the fact you're sending it to her work will tell her right away it's someone she works with. Women always know who's acting weird around them like this. Not always. Women can be frighteningly oblivious about the men around them. Besides, it could be one of her regular customers, not a fellow employee...unless Darren's "clue" changes this. Edited September 5, 2014 by MGX
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Darren While the thought -- you want to do something nice for your crush -- is lovely your execution is horrible. Do not do this. Any sane person would throw out anonymous food. I'd be afraid it was poison. Also anonymous gets you nowhere. If she loves it, she won't know it's from you so what good is that? If she later finds out she may think less of you because you didn't have the spine / guts to sign the card. My suggestion: buy her less of the chocolate & hand it to her. 2
jb82 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I know this seems like some sort of action or resolution, but trust me - this will not accomplish what you think it will. Talk to her
Author Darren2013 Posted September 6, 2014 Author Posted September 6, 2014 (edited) I mean this has been going on for over a month as far as the new behavior patterns. She is doing the exact same thing I am doing. I only look at her when her back is to me. I've caught her doing the same thing when my back is toward her. I could see it in the sunlight reflection of some windows. I do not think it is all just a coincidence that we suddenly stopped talking to each other at the same time. For 12 years until just last month we talked to each other normally and been very friendly. I only saw her as a friend all that time until one day last month I suppose my feelings progressed unexpectedly. So maybe I had some kind of epiphany. Now when I see her my heart skips a beat and I flinch. Even though she is acting the same way now with the distance thing I can't definitively say what is going on one way or the other. Even if there has been a progression of feelings mutually at the same time one thing is certain and that is one of us is going to have to re-initiate contact at some point. If we assume for a moment that she is just as stubborn as I am and we have same personalities then this will likely continue to be a stalemate indefinitely. Sometimes the person that would make a good match for us is standing right in front of us for a long time and we are blind to it for so long. That could be what is going on here hence an epiphany. As soon as I had this epiphany that's when I began to distance myself from her because I'm not sure what to do about these feelings. This sudden shift happened without warning. If this were 2 months ago I never would have predicted that I would develop feelings for someone at work. Edited September 6, 2014 by Darren2013
Author Darren2013 Posted September 6, 2014 Author Posted September 6, 2014 That might not be a good thing, Darren. You could be misreading her completely, which is a common thing that guys on this site do with women. You never told us why don't you go up to her and tell her about how you feel about her or at least attempt to ask her out. Are you shy? Afraid of rejection? Don't want to cause trouble in the workplace in case you fail? I don't think you're a pervert or creepy, but simply very shy. Not always. Women can be frighteningly oblivious about the men around them. Besides, it could be one of her regular customers, not a fellow employee...unless Darren's "clue" changes this. It isn't a gender thing. Women also misread the signs that men give too so they are no better. It is just part of being human. You do not have to take my word for it. Just now there's already a thread in this part of the forum from a woman asking for help on reading a certain guy. If it wasn't just as common for women to misread signals then there wouldn't be women making threads asking for help on how to read a guy's intentions or motives or interest, etc. And if my crush is anything like me then she too is just as much at risk of misreading me. I may have carried the avoidance thing too far and as a result she may take that as discouragement from trying to get close to me.
d0nnivain Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 You have to be kidding me? This woman has been your friend for 12 years? For heaven's sake on the basis of more than a decade's worth of friendship, walk up to her & hand her the chocolate or at least sign your name when you send it. Even if she doesn't return your romantic interest, on the basis of a friendship of that length she will be kind & gracious when you talk. Your approach barely made sense when I thought this crush was a random woman who might not know your name. It's the absolute wrong thing to do in this setting. If you send it to her anonymously & she later finds out it was you, instead of thinking awww how sweet, he's shy, she's going to think, what a putz (or something worse, think 5 letter word beginning with P ending in Y). You hit the nail on the head when you said you took the avoidance thing too are. Especially if she is shy too, she will be thrilled that you took the initiative. Man up already! You will be glad you did even if it doesn't work out.
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