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Ok, so I screwed up...


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Posted

Yesterday, I ran into my ex at grad school. It had been 3 months NC and I was pretty pleased with my progress and proud, i must add. However, in the past few days, people told me on several ocassions that he had been asking about me etc because he'd seen me once on campus and wasn't sure if i was studying or teaching.

 

Then yesterday, i ran into him and casually said hi exchanged a couple of words and happily made my way to class. Not overly anxious, honestly i was kind cut off guard cause i wasn't expecting running into him at that particular moment and part of campus. But i did so gracefully.

 

However today, I screwed... i stalked his twitter, which i hadn't done in all NC. This was sparked but weeks of previous talks of people who came and told me he'd been asking about me. 2) When we went NC i knew he started going out with some girl. The past few weeks someone told me he was single cause this girl had another boyfriend, and i def wasn't him. This struck me as very weird but i initially brushed it off too.

 

Fast forward, through my "stalkin" session, i find out that these two have been official since a week after our last "meeting", like that all of a sudden. So the've been dating for say 2 months. They keep tweeting all the I Love Yous and seriously intense stuff... Only on tw. FB it's like they don't exist (as far as i can see etc...). I know it was SERIOUSLY wrong of me to do this, not for him but for me. I can't get him off my mind. It did NOT crush me, as i suspected this, BUT it just seems like they're going "awkwardly fast" and i feel its sketchy that people think (close people to HER) that sh'es dating someone else, when clearly they're together (maybe she's playing him?). I realize this is not my business, but this is a guy i love, and as much as i want to brush it off i can't, i do miss him but i think i do just fine right now. Part of me was hoping to reconcile in a few months or at least talk again since we were together for almost 5 years but i highly doubt that will be possible. They do seem SUPER happy and that's ok. I guess i'm not even sure how i feel right now.

 

It just keeps running through my mind...:sick:

Posted

Honestly just keep your head down low. You've been doing so great. Just keep focusing on yourself and everything else will fall into place. He's not your concern anymore, so dont worry about him.

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Posted

Don't think so much about what you have already done, think about what you should do next.

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Posted

That's the thing, i feel kinda lost right now. I'm giving me this weekend to gather myself back again... :( and figure out what's next

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