dragonfire13 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I got out of a two year relationship (with a guy I had known for seven years) around six months ago. We have not been in contact since, which was actually the best course of action as the break up was extremely painful, made worse by my ex lashing out and saying hurtful things at the time. He reached recently to wish me happy birthday. Part of me was tempted to ignore and block him (he reached out on WhatsApp ) but I thought that would look petty and like I was still bitter about it... when the reality is, I'm a million times happier now that I'm out of what was an unhealthy relationship. Because of some of the hurtful things this guy said and the disrespectful way he handled the break up, I always thought that if he had the audacity to contact me again, I would either ignore it or tell him where to go. Instead, I sent a simple thank you and left it at that. Was that a pushover move? Or the mature approach? I feel like this guy wasn't even worth a response, but because of the WhatsApp last seen feature, it would look like I still was bothered by it enough to ignore it, so I just looked at it as a courtesy gesture.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 you should have ignored it. The fact that you are more concerned about how you look to a guy that disrespected you than you are about your own recovery is a problem. You're still putting his views instead of your own. Next time ignore. 4
d0nnivain Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 He was extending an olive branch of sorts & showing that maybe he's not the most impolite insensitive clod on earth. He may genuinely have wanted you to have a happy birthday but you have to assume that at least part of that was because in his mind if you were having a happy birthday that meant you were over him & no still upset. Your response was polite. Saying nothing would have been OK but good for you for taking the high road. Anything beyond those two words would have been weak & it was uncalled for. 2
Standard-Fare Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I think your response was appropriate, as long as you don't engage him any further. If there's any more contact from him, ignore it. At some point (maybe not now because he'll notice), try to block him on Whats App, assuming that's possible. Hopefully you've already blocked him on other forms of social media, etc. 2
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 Great advice, and exactly my train of thought thank you! Yeah, we have removed/blocked each from social media. He did initially block me on WhatsApp too. He must have decided to unblock me at some point and I've been none the wiser as I deleted his phone number many months ago (subsequently, this removes them off WhatsApp too).
whichwayisup Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I got out of a two year relationship (with a guy I had known for seven years) around six months ago. We have not been in contact since, which was actually the best course of action as the break up was extremely painful, made worse by my ex lashing out and saying hurtful things at the time. He reached recently to wish me happy birthday. Part of me was tempted to ignore and block him (he reached out on WhatsApp ) but I thought that would look petty and like I was still bitter about it... when the reality is, I'm a million times happier now that I'm out of what was an unhealthy relationship. Edited to add, oops, saw you wrote him back already. If he contacts you again, be honest and tell him that you have no desire to keep in touch. Because of some of the hurtful things this guy said and the disrespectful way he handled the break up, I always thought that if he had the audacity to contact me again, I would either ignore it or tell him where to go. Instead, I sent a simple thank you and left it at that. Was that a pushover move? Or the mature approach? I feel like this guy wasn't even worth a response, but because of the WhatsApp last seen feature, it would look like I still was bothered by it enough to ignore it, so I just looked at it as a courtesy gesture. Who cares what he thinks? if you're still upset or bitter or if you've moved on. He is fishing..Don't reply back. Block him! You said you feel much better without him in your life so don't even open the door a crack. And, don't feel bad about ignoring him. Remember how much he hurt you and also was cruel. He doesn't deserve another thought from you! 1
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) Feel bad blocking him...damn conscience! Edited September 11, 2014 by dragonfire13
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