I was catfished TWICE by the same person..still talking 7 months later.

[eca]

This is LONG, so I apologize, I just am in need of advice.

 

I met this guy online, Matt. Matt sends me a picture that is far too good to be true, tells me he's in a band, and is basically this super popular guy (via proof of the thousands of friends/like/comments on his Facebook, twitter, instagram, etc) I immediately know Matt is not the guy he sent me photos of. He claims his phone can't make voice calls, he has no mic/cam and cannot purchase either to plug into his laptop, etc. After 1.5 months of asking Matt to add me on his facebook, tumblr, etc (& him claiming each time he will do it later) I contact the profiles he's given me.

 

Turns out Matt has given me the REAL guy's profiles. The real guy (also named Matt, which I guess is why fake Matt felt fine giving me the profiles) and I figure out who fake Matt is is via a screenshot fake Matt sent me awhile ago, logged in as someone named Danica on a university website. Real Matt searches his friend list, finds a girl with the exact same first & last name, & contacts her (aka contacts fake Matt). Real Matt then skype video chats with me. He is seriously freaked out after the 50+ screenshots I send him of fake Matt talking about his family, life, etc. Fake Matt knew every little detail..he must have faked real Matt TONS of times before. Afterwards, real Matt tells me I should cut off contact with fake Matt/Danica.

 

 

Fake Matt is still sending me messages at this point. I break the news to him, telling him I have definitive proof that he isn't who he says he is. He admits it, giving me some lame excuse, that he was "bored". He denies that he is that girl, and says he was logged into her account to do an assignment for her. He promises further explanation, so I just accept it. I ask for a real picture of him, and he says he'll do it later (as usual). He sends me one the next day, it's grainy as hell, and once again, I know it is not him. I tell him he MUST tell me the full truth from now on if this is to continue. He promises, over and over that he will be 100% honest.

 

 

We continue talking..(I know). I don't trust him at all at this point, but I'm really interested in finding out WHO this person is. I spend the next 2 months talking to him. He starts mentioning conversations with coworkers, tells me the name of his 'actual' workplace, etc. He chats to me all throughout work, and gives very vivid descriptions of conversations and coworkers, including his bosses' names. I start contacting his coworkers, sending them a paragraph describing the situation, along with the photo he sent me. Most didn't respond, probably thought I was a nutjob. The 3 who did respond were his two bosses, and 1 coworker. Both bosses didn't recognize the guy in the picture, or the name. One confirmed the phone number he had given me belonged to one of their employees, but could only tell me it wasn't to the guy I was looking for. Great.. Finally the coworker gets back to me. I give this coworker details about conversations he apparently had with fake Matt. The coworker confirms that this person is actually Danica..yes, the same one from the screenshot that real Matt and I found. He also confirms the phone number is Dancia's.

 

 

I confront fake Matt with all this. He insists he is not Danica, & tells me he has asked her for specific details about her job, so he in turn can tell me those details to make it seem like he has a great job. I tell him it's borderline impossible that he knew that amount of detail about a workplace, and no one would give him exact conversation details like that. He insists he's being honest, and that he is NOT Danica. I question him having the exact same work hours as her, etc, and he says "most people work those hours". I tell him he's one sick individual and block all forms of contact.

Unfortunately, I forget he has my roommate's email, and he contacts her the next day with some bull about why he lied about the job, etc. I break and read it, and respond. We begin talking again, and no, I still don't trust him at all.

 

Fast forward to 2 weeks later, after countless google reverse image searches ending in nothing, I decide to try 1 more really grainy image that is the fakest looking of them all. A result pops up for some male model. Bingo. He has now lied to me twice about his looks/used 2 dif guys pics, and I'm pretty sure everything he's said has been a lie as well. Even after promising to never lie again, he began lying the DAY after I caught him the first time by sending another fake pic. I confront him, he's at "work" and says he will explain later. I say whatever, and go out with friends, leaving my phone at home.

 

 

I come home to an email the size of Africa about why he's done all this. His main explanation is that he used to be in the army, and so sharing his real name, job, address, phone number, pictures, etc with me isn't easy. He also says he was abused as a child, and now is under a protection service, so he can't really share these things with me. I don't really believe it, as he is a master manipulator, but the lengthy email seems sincere.

He promises yet again to be 100% honest with me from here on out, and says he WILL eventually tell me these things, at a pace that makes him feel comfortable so he won't lie again. There's tons more to tell, but basically, it has now been 2 months, and I've yet to see a picture of this individual, know his address, phone number, real name, anything. He knows ALL of this about me. Luckily I moved about a week ago, so he doesn't and will NOT be getting my real address.

 

 

He said he loved me 5 days after we met, and goes on and on about how much he loves me. I've asked many times why someone who loves me would do this, and tell him that relationships can't be built on lies. I've wasted 7 months now with this individual, and am really just looking for advice. I've asked for his real picture many times, and he always says he will get to it, an excuse I've been given many times. I'm frustrated, and don't trust him, but he ropes me back in each time.

 

 

I've never been this type of girl, and I've ended all my former relationships by going full no contact, and never breaking it. Any thoughts, opinions, questions, etc would be great. Thank you for reading!

[longjohn]

This is LONG, so I apologize, I just am in need of advice.

 

I met this guy online, Matt. Matt sends me a picture that is far too good to be true, tells me he's in a band, and is basically this super popular guy (via proof of the thousands of friends/like/comments on his Facebook, twitter, instagram, etc) I immediately know Matt is not the guy he sent me photos of. He claims his phone can't make voice calls, he has no mic/cam and cannot purchase either to plug into his laptop, etc. After 1.5 months of asking Matt to add me on his facebook, tumblr, etc (& him claiming each time he will do it later) I contact the profiles he's given me.

 

Turns out Matt has given me the REAL guy's profiles. The real guy (also named Matt, which I guess is why fake Matt felt fine giving me the profiles) and I figure out who fake Matt is is via a screenshot fake Matt sent me awhile ago, logged in as someone named Danica on a university website. Real Matt searches his friend list, finds a girl with the exact same first & last name, & contacts her (aka contacts fake Matt). Real Matt then skype video chats with me. He is seriously freaked out after the 50+ screenshots I send him of fake Matt talking about his family, life, etc. Fake Matt knew every little detail..he must have faked real Matt TONS of times before. Afterwards, real Matt tells me I should cut off contact with fake Matt/Danica.

 

 

Fake Matt is still sending me messages at this point. I break the news to him, telling him I have definitive proof that he isn't who he says he is. He admits it, giving me some lame excuse, that he was "bored". He denies that he is that girl, and says he was logged into her account to do an assignment for her. He promises further explanation, so I just accept it. I ask for a real picture of him, and he says he'll do it later (as usual). He sends me one the next day, it's grainy as hell, and once again, I know it is not him. I tell him he MUST tell me the full truth from now on if this is to continue. He promises, over and over that he will be 100% honest.

 

 

We continue talking..(I know). I don't trust him at all at this point, but I'm really interested in finding out WHO this person is. I spend the next 2 months talking to him. He starts mentioning conversations with coworkers, tells me the name of his 'actual' workplace, etc. He chats to me all throughout work, and gives very vivid descriptions of conversations and coworkers, including his bosses' names. I start contacting his coworkers, sending them a paragraph describing the situation, along with the photo he sent me. Most didn't respond, probably thought I was a nutjob. The 3 who did respond were his two bosses, and 1 coworker. Both bosses didn't recognize the guy in the picture, or the name. One confirmed the phone number he had given me belonged to one of their employees, but could only tell me it wasn't to the guy I was looking for. Great.. Finally the coworker gets back to me. I give this coworker details about conversations he apparently had with fake Matt. The coworker confirms that this person is actually Danica..yes, the same one from the screenshot that real Matt and I found. He also confirms the phone number is Dancia's.

 

 

I confront fake Matt with all this. He insists he is not Danica, & tells me he has asked her for specific details about her job, so he in turn can tell me those details to make it seem like he has a great job. I tell him it's borderline impossible that he knew that amount of detail about a workplace, and no one would give him exact conversation details like that. He insists he's being honest, and that he is NOT Danica. I question him having the exact same work hours as her, etc, and he says "most people work those hours". I tell him he's one sick individual and block all forms of contact.

Unfortunately, I forget he has my roommate's email, and he contacts her the next day with some bull about why he lied about the job, etc. I break and read it, and respond. We begin talking again, and no, I still don't trust him at all.

 

Fast forward to 2 weeks later, after countless google reverse image searches ending in nothing, I decide to try 1 more really grainy image that is the fakest looking of them all. A result pops up for some male model. Bingo. He has now lied to me twice about his looks/used 2 dif guys pics, and I'm pretty sure everything he's said has been a lie as well. Even after promising to never lie again, he began lying the DAY after I caught him the first time by sending another fake pic. I confront him, he's at "work" and says he will explain later. I say whatever, and go out with friends, leaving my phone at home.

 

 

I come home to an email the size of Africa about why he's done all this. His main explanation is that he used to be in the army, and so sharing his real name, job, address, phone number, pictures, etc with me isn't easy. He also says he was abused as a child, and now is under a protection service, so he can't really share these things with me. I don't really believe it, as he is a master manipulator, but the lengthy email seems sincere.

He promises yet again to be 100% honest with me from here on out, and says he WILL eventually tell me these things, at a pace that makes him feel comfortable so he won't lie again. There's tons more to tell, but basically, it has now been 2 months, and I've yet to see a picture of this individual, know his address, phone number, real name, anything. He knows ALL of this about me. Luckily I moved about a week ago, so he doesn't and will NOT be getting my real address.

 

 

He said he loved me 5 days after we met, and goes on and on about how much he loves me. I've asked many times why someone who loves me would do this, and tell him that relationships can't be built on lies. I've wasted 7 months now with this individual, and am really just looking for advice. I've asked for his real picture many times, and he always says he will get to it, an excuse I've been given many times. I'm frustrated, and don't trust him, but he ropes me back in each time.

 

 

I've never been this type of girl, and I've ended all my former relationships by going full no contact, and never breaking it. Any thoughts, opinions, questions, etc would be great. Thank you for reading!

The second I get smell a lie I'm out of there. That person is blowing so much hot air I'm sure there's no ozone above their house LOL. Seriously put on a good pair of shoes and run.. don't look back just run away. Delete the freak and move on. Why waste time on these types of idiots.

[Imported]

OP, he is not a "master manipulator". You're just really really really naive.

 

If you leave your car door unlocked with keys in the ignition, it doesn't take a "master" car theif to steal it.

 

With some people, it's that easy.

 

 

Here's what I think. You should give him/her another chance. Surely third times the charm. He's probably 007, so of course he can't really tell you everything.

[Zahara]

The title was enough. Why in the world would anyone that has been catfished TWICE still stay in contact.

 

Words that associate with catfish: depective manipulate, fraud, trick, victim, etc.

 

Maybe you are this "type" of girl because you so desperately need for this to be real, so you cling and hope Matt comes through for you. This is some deep denial.

[Michelle ma Belle]

He said he loved me 5 days after we met, and goes on and on about how much he loves me. I've asked many times why someone who loves me would do this, and tell him that relationships can't be built on lies. I've wasted 7 months now with this individual, and am really just looking for advice. I've asked for his real picture many times, and he always says he will get to it, an excuse I've been given many times. I'm frustrated, and don't trust him, but he ropes me back in each time.

 

 

I've never been this type of girl, and I've ended all my former relationships by going full no contact, and never breaking it. Any thoughts, opinions, questions, etc would be great. Thank you for reading!

 

I'm sorry but what exactly does this guy say or do that continually "ropes you back in"?!

 

There is NOTHING captivating about this idiot apart from your own dreams of playing detective that warrants the time and energy you've invested thus far. Do you really not have anything better to do than to indulge this guy for this long?

 

The internet is FULL of questionable characters with shady agendas for heaven's sake. The anonymity that being online affords only fuels these kinds of people.

 

What exactly do you want from this guy? Honesty?

 

Come on sweetie! Wake up and get back to living your life, your REAL life and stop playing virtual footsies with a liar.

 

NC ASAP. Simple as that.

[cristalina]

I'm not really sure what he could be doing to rope you back in. You're dealing with a facade. I have no idea why you waste your time. Do you deserve this treatment? No. Are you worthy of honest and caring friendship and relationships? Yes. It's time for you to embrace who you are as a woman, stand on your mountain that you are Queen of, and throw that sucker off the cliff (not literally). Move on girl. You don't need that kind of dishonesty in your life. There is so much more out there that is wonderful, beautiful, and honest. XO - Cris

[veggirl]

girl...meet a guy in real life and quit it with the online "relationships". for gods sake, you weren't even a victim here, you were a willing participant in a freakin play or something.

[slizl]

You know you are a woman, right? You know that you can probably throw on a sun dress and do to a local restaurant, sit at the bar and meet tons of men in real life, right? You have it so easy, but yet you are chasing down a person on the internet?

[Standard-Fare]

The problem here is you. There is absolutely no reason why you have to engage with this person at all. Are you getting ANYTHING positive out of this?

 

Question yourself on why you're doing this.

[Zippy2000]

The problem is definitely you. Stop replying to "him".

 

He`s getting kicks making you think who "he" is.

 

I say CUT all contact. All CONNECTIONS. If the person is crazy "he" will come after you.

 

When that happens and things start to scare you.

 

GO TO THE POLICE!