Shin_00 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Hi, I am writing to put my broken heart in place.... I have been in love with a woman for 8 months and we had the most amazing times together.. went everywhere in the town, even took her to Paris my home town and attached a love lock in Paris with our names on saying Love you forever, always have been there to comfort her and gave her alot of attention, even did nice gestures as giving her breakfast in bed and cooking her 5 star michelline food in her kitchen... However, a week before my bday (3 weeks ago) she decided to dump me, and then regretted it and took me back the next hour, to dump me again 4 days later... I was so heartbroken and she asked me to remain friends which I couldn't... I am 26 and she's 44, that's the age gap... Most of her exs are phenomenal douchebags and especially her ex husband who cheated on her.. I was there to hold her and tell her that everything was ok, and we had the most romantic love making and our relationship was full of romance. Only had one argument in those 8 months which we talked about... She has 2 kids and is struggling to find a home, that's why she dumped me... I told her that I was alright with the decision and didn't break up on bad terms. However since day one of break up, I removed her from my facebook to start healing, coz this is my 3rd major breakup.. and she blocked me in return... I miss her so so much and want her back.. I have followed the NC since day 1 of the break up with explaining her that I'm here nor as a friend or an enemy, but it would give us both the space we want... What are my chances of getting her back considering, she was depressed with her divorce before she met me and I got her spark back when I met her! I decided to hit the gym and improve my mind and body.. I need people to talk... I feel so alone...
Ronni_W Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Shin_00, I'm sorry for what you're going through. You already know that you are doing all the "right things" to recover from a break-up...and that letting go of the good/beautiful memories is the hard part. Your ex could not find a way out of her own struggles. She has made the appropriate, best choice for herself...it simply means that you don't fit-in with where she is/what she needs out of life. So, I think it would be wiser (safer for your heart) to work towards accepting that the relationship is permanently over, and to not wonder or think about the possibility of a reconciliation. As difficult as it may be, especially so soon after the break-up, do what you can/must to stay positive and optimistic that there is someone with whom you will, in the future, share all of it, and more...AND you will fit perfectly into her life...and she in yours. Hugs and best. 1
Author Shin_00 Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 Thank you for the message... However before the breaking up, she did mention "it's not you, it's me" and I did provide her with everything and even talked about everything... Now giving up on me I know she will regret it later in life when she moves on... But she did break up with me via phone instead of face to face... which is a bit cowardly and thinks it was immature of me to remove her off facebook....
dragonfire13 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Im so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down...when someone breaks up with you, asks for you back just to break up with you again I know how horrible it is having been though it myself, especially because they got your hopes up just for it to be dashed again. You say you've removed her from social media and don't want to keep in contact so you can heal. That's a good move, though it's at odds with your desire to get back together with her. This may seem harsh, but even if you were to get back together, on/off relationships rarely work out. Take it from someone who tried for two years. The final break up was a million times worse than the initial breakup. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you will get through this. My on/off relationship came to an end in the midst of housing issues, financial worries, friends who were trying to take advantage of me and family drama. But four months later, I'm doing great. Don't get me wrong, I had days where I could not even get out of bed (again, that may not have been entirely due to the break up, but it contributed) but now, I'm happy and I'm getting on with things and feel like my old self again. And with that, I talk to new people every day and I recently met someone that I felt chemistry with. While it came to nothing, it gave me faith that I will find someone else that I click with and that I'm attracted to. And this person I met, his good qualities just further magnified my ex's bad qualities. I'm using personal examples because I can fully relate to that hopeless feeling, like you may have lost your soulmate. But trust me, that rose-tinted glasses view does pass and the only thing you can really do is give it time. Use this time to focus and better yourself. You may still feel sad from time to time, and if you do it helps to have someone to talk to just to get it off your chest. Most of us have dealt with heartbreak in our lives so can relate. So trust me, things will get better... hope I helped *hugs* 1
Author Shin_00 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 Thank you so much for your replies and it shows me how much people are out there willing to help... I litterally phoned her saying that I'm sorry that things didn't work out between us, and I hope that she'll get better. She replied saying that we could still be friends, but I said that we couldn't because of what's the point of being with someone that doesn't want you anymore... I told her that people don't even realize of what they have until it's gone, but I can still be there for her as a leap of faith if she ever needed any advice or anything, so to show that we didn't fall off... I then gifted her with all the memories of pictures we had taken, and told her that I do not regret anything, but the friendship between us wouldn't work but also told her that even if i'm out of sight or gone, she hadn't lost me. I did remind her that I do understand, I accepted and I respected her decision to break up. Now my worry is, wether or not she wants to come back in few months to years if she realizes that what she lost was worth saving, I don't quiet know how to prepare myself for it! But I'm not looking back...
Author Shin_00 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 A month has gone by after the breakup, and I have done things like flirting with other girls and even pulling one at a night club... And oh man does it feel good... I've been learning the acceptance after the relationship has severed and by rejecting it, it would have been wrong.. My fate was to accept who I am and who she was during that relationship. A person isn't who they are after the last conversation, it's who they have been throughout the entire relationship. I look back at the pictures we have taken and actually feel happy this happened as an experience. It thought me to stand up for what I believe in and help those who need it! I can look at the world into a different way and control my abilities! Now if she does want me, she can still call, but I won't take her back into my life again!
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