DontBreakEven Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I started dating a girl 2 months ago. Things got serious pretty fast, and she is so perfect for me in so many ways. But then there is the issue ... I don't even know how to explain it. Something is completely off with her at times, and it's starting to make me feel insane. We met one of my best friends a few weeks into knowing each other and things were great! But then immediately when we got in the car she flipped a switch and something was wrong. After much prodding, she accused me of being in love with my friend and that I "need to figure that out". Huh???? So that was the beginning of many episodes like this, that invariably cause terrible fighting, as I try to defend myself against completely irrational thinking and accusations. Last week we met her little brother and things were going great until she snapped and told me all I was doing was paying attention to her brother and now I've caused him to develop an attraction towards me. WTF. Last night she just stopped having sex with me because apparently I was acting as if her hair was too much in the way. That one really threw me for a loop. She ended up sleeping on the couch and just leaving this morning for work without even saying goodbye. Then when I called her she told me she felt like me having sex with her was a chore for me. I don't know what to do. I care for the girl and I am very much infatuated/in love with her ... but each time this happens (at least once a week), I feel like I'm losing my mind. I cannot live like this. But I don't want to lose her.
longjohn Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I started dating a girl 2 months ago. Things got serious pretty fast, and she is so perfect for me in so many ways. But then there is the issue ... I don't even know how to explain it. Something is completely off with her at times, and it's starting to make me feel insane. We met one of my best friends a few weeks into knowing each other and things were great! But then immediately when we got in the car she flipped a switch and something was wrong. After much prodding, she accused me of being in love with my friend and that I "need to figure that out". Huh???? So that was the beginning of many episodes like this, that invariably cause terrible fighting, as I try to defend myself against completely irrational thinking and accusations. Last week we met her little brother and things were going great until she snapped and told me all I was doing was paying attention to her brother and now I've caused him to develop an attraction towards me. WTF. Last night she just stopped having sex with me because apparently I was acting as if her hair was too much in the way. That one really threw me for a loop. She ended up sleeping on the couch and just leaving this morning for work without even saying goodbye. Then when I called her she told me she felt like me having sex with her was a chore for me. I don't know what to do. I care for the girl and I am very much infatuated/in love with her ... but each time this happens (at least once a week), I feel like I'm losing my mind. I cannot live like this. But I don't want to lose her. Time to move on, you can't fix a crazy woman lol. She'll either have to figure it out herself and fix these issues or you'll have to hang around for a long time to help her fix them. There's plenty of nice sane, single ladies out there. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 The crazy is starting to seep out. Often happens around this time. She's probably testing you to see how much you'll put up with/how much attention she can get you to give her before you bolt. Run... because this is not normal behaviour for a regular person. Unless you want a relationship with somebody who is incredibly hard work and who will regularly accuse you of made up stuff or try and make you jealous herself, this isn't the girl for you. 3
johnson_j Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 This is not normal behavior. Don't ignore the warning signs! Just stop talking to her for a couple weeks and see where your emotions go. 2
Author DontBreakEven Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 I'm SOOO disappointed. I know this is insane behavior. I also don't want to break her heart, or mine. I know it sounds childish but I just wish it wasn't happening. I really thought I FINALLY found a great person for me.
johnson_j Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I'm SOOO disappointed. I know this is insane behavior. I also don't want to break her heart, or mine. I know it sounds childish but I just wish it wasn't happening. I really thought I FINALLY found a great person for me. You worry about YOUR heart. She is acting only concerned about herself and trying to get a rise out of you. WALK AWAY. If you don't, we'll see you in the "break up" forum in a few months saying you should have seen it coming, etc. Denial is normal in this stage man, everything seems to perfect and it's easy to rationalize the dangers away, but don't do it. Trust me.
LostConfused123 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I really feel for you. I was in a relationship with a man for eight years. He was CONSTANTLY moody, picking fights. etc. Just absolutely could not be happy! It was almost as if he couldn't stand harmony and peace. He even ignored me and gave me the cold shoulder one particular Valentine's day because he said. . . GET THIS!!! "The Valentine's card you got for me was so much better than the one I got you and now I feel bad" WTF?????? That is one of many examples but it sticks in my mind the most because I have never been "punished" for being too thoughtful. CRAZY!!! I left that relationship absolutely exhausted and had no attraction or love for him anymore whatsoever. Stayed WAY longer than I should have. I guess the good news is I mourned that relationship for about 5 minutes and moved on. RUN!!!! I have zero tolerance these days for crazy and dramatic behavior. 2
Author DontBreakEven Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 "The Valentine's card you got for me was so much better than the one I got you and now I feel bad" Jesus. It is beyond sad how much I relate to this. I'm so disappointed. I really thought she was a great person. It's going to break my own heart as well having to get out of this.
Gloria25 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 The crazy is starting to seep out. Often happens around this time. She's probably testing you to see how much you'll put up with/how much attention she can get you to give her before you bolt. Run... because this is not normal behaviour for a regular person. Unless you want a relationship with somebody who is incredibly hard work and who will regularly accuse you of made up stuff or try and make you jealous herself, this isn't the girl for you. Agreed ^^....dating is to figure out if you are a match and with time you are gonna see them show their true colors. BTW, I'm assuming you had sex with her. Crazy sex? I mean, she seems nutty and you are making excuses for her behavior. When the sex is really good sometimes we make excuses and crazy people usually = great sex + crazy. So, it's up to you...keep on banging and getting the good crazy sex. But obviously she's got you wrapped around her finger and the sex has stopped. 2
Zahara Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Jesus. It is beyond sad how much I relate to this. I'm so disappointed. I really thought she was a great person. It's going to break my own heart as well having to get out of this. Better broken heart now than broken self 6 months from now when she's torn and worn you down. I have to say she probably won't go away easily. Expect for more drama. 1
Mrin Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Wow, that's some pretty serious cray-cray. I was in a relationship for four years with some crazy. But not that much! I've even been known to appreciate a smidgen of cray-cray now and then but I gotta tell you brother, run now. Like right now. Call her up and say, "I'm sorry, this just isn't working out for me. You're a lovely lady and deserve the truth. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Goodbye". And here's the thing about crazy - whether it comes in male or female forms. Crazy is like an iceberg. What you see now, the extent of the crazy, that's just the tip. There is so much more crazy lurking beneath the waves...
LostConfused123 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 The best part of exiting my relationship was I could have a good day if I wanted. Not sure if that makes sense but what I mean is my day didn't have to be planned around his moods. I could have an awesome day because I wanted to and no one could stop me. Sometimes I would wake up in the mornings and just see the look on his face and I was like "Oh crap. . . . here we go" So glad I don't live like that anymore. I even had a nickname for his "other self" I can giggle about it now but it's no fun. Really sucked the life out of me. Best of luck whatever you decide. We'll be here for you. You can always message me if you like because unfortunately, I know exactly what you're going through. ((hugs!!)) 1
slizl Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 You can run or you can show her that you won't tolerate her behavior.
LostConfused123 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Holidays can be awful with these kinds of people. Not to be all over you with this but I thought of another example. A few Halloweens ago, we lived in the city and not a lot of trick or treaters. There were however lots of dogs and me being a holiday lover decided to have doggy trick or treating. I hung up flyers and told all the neighbors. I made costumes for us and our dogs and was really excited about it. The day of I made a bunch of food and also Halloween dog cookies and thought we could sit on the the porch with cocktails and just have a good time together. He was absolutely MISERABLE the entire day. I tried soooooo hard to get him in a good mood but he just wasn't having it. I finally got mad and said "Fine, you win!!! Let's be miserable today" He told me he was afraid no one would show up for doggy trick or treating and he knew it would disappoint me so he just couldn't get into it. WTF?????? SERIOUSLY???? He then immediately did a 180 and we tried to have a good time but I was so exhausted by trying to cheer him up all day. I was just glad to see it end. and I LOVE Halloween. Yeah, he was good at ruining holidays for dumb shyte!
ExpatInItaly Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Girlfriend ain't playing with a full deck. if she's this whacked at 2 months, imagine a year from now. She isn't stable. Don't think you can fix her warped mind, because you can't. There are disturbing, major underlying issues here. Seriously - she thinks her brother might have a thing for you? You said it yourself: W.T.F.
Author DontBreakEven Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 It's okay, you can all be on me. I have other examples. We were just laying watching tv and I was feeding her pretzels and she suddenly asked me if I care to take precaution again communicable diseases. I said, "huh?" After and hour of trying to prod where the eff that came from, she finally brought up how much friend mentioned (jokingly) that the doctor said he might have Hep C. And apparently, I took a drag off his cigarette last month. When I told her he was joking she rolled her eyes at me. Then when I said even if he wasn't joking, who cares about a cigarette, she said I am clearly not educated in saliva-transmitted diseases. No Googling Hep C would shut her up about it. One day I came home from work and she was being super weird to me. Finally after 2 hours I asked what the heck was wrong and she said "Is anything ever right??" Then she asked me if I am ever happy without being stressed, and she thought it was weird that I allowed her to go have a drink with a friend after work. Okay, typing out the stories makes me feel insane. And yes, this is just 2 months in. f*ck.
deathandtaxes Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I was going to suggest she is highly insecure and jealous. But after your two other examples, I just really don't know. She seems 'not right' in the head. I'd almost be worried that something is really wrong - ie she's entering a manic episode or some other mental illness. This is your do or die moment - if you like her a lot and there are other good parts to her and you think this is a blip, stick around. If not, and no one can blame you, bail bail bail.
veggirl Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 don't move so fast next time. remember that people you are just meeting are STRANGERS. that was really stupid to move so quickly, you wouldn't be so torn up if you'd taken your time to get to know her before declaring her the one for you. lesson learned (hopefully).
cristalina Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Oh no, I am so sorry! The crazy started coming out. She's definitely testing you to see what she can get away with. Unfortunately these are serious warning signs that should not be ignored. Hugs! - Cris 1
Diezel Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 If you need anymore "EJECT" posts, I can do at least 15 more of them. Because there is NO way I'd deal with that. Stop the "break her heart" nonsense, too. That's junk. She'll get over you in a heartbeat and find someone else to go be crazy with. Can you imagine this chick at 2 YEARS? Come on. I hate how men will step over their own self-value over some sex and "love". This isn't love. 1
travelbug1996 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 This is just a preview of the coming attraction. Yea how are you gonna be heartbroken after 2 months? You don't even know this woman. Do you like your women crazy? Do you enjoy the high level of drama somewhat?
longjohn Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Not all her dogs are barking.. she's off her f*ckin tits man.. Seriously leave her and break her heart now. Or else she'll drive you insane like she is. There's plenty of sane, stable people out there in the world to get with.
stillafool Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I'm thinking if she's this crazy now she may become physically abusive later on. I would run and run fast.
Mrin Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 It's okay, you can all be on me. I have other examples. We were just laying watching tv and I was feeding her pretzels and she suddenly asked me if I care to take precaution again communicable diseases. I said, "huh?" After and hour of trying to prod where the eff that came from, she finally brought up how much friend mentioned (jokingly) that the doctor said he might have Hep C. And apparently, I took a drag off his cigarette last month. When I told her he was joking she rolled her eyes at me. Then when I said even if he wasn't joking, who cares about a cigarette, she said I am clearly not educated in saliva-transmitted diseases. No Googling Hep C would shut her up about it. One day I came home from work and she was being super weird to me. Finally after 2 hours I asked what the heck was wrong and she said "Is anything ever right??" Then she asked me if I am ever happy without being stressed, and she thought it was weird that I allowed her to go have a drink with a friend after work. Okay, typing out the stories makes me feel insane. And yes, this is just 2 months in. f*ck. Am I the only one getting some therapeutic buzz from these stories? It is sort of like watching Jerry Springer and feeling instantly better about your life. 1
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