Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 Just seems to be never ending. I have handled NC pretty well only one slipped up which resulted in me being pissed and pushing me further away. I just don't see why that text was even needed in the first place. I made it clear I did not want to be friends and had no intentions of talking to her.
Zahara Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Just seems to be never ending. I have handled NC pretty well only one slipped up which resulted in me being pissed and pushing me further away. I just don't see why that text was even needed in the first place. I made it clear I did not want to be friends and had no intentions of talking to her. Dumpers have an ego. It gives them a little boost when they know they have someone pining over them and it would be nice to have that little perk as they transition post-breakup. It also relieves the guilt they feel -- by being friendly, they are able to alleviate any negative feelings they have post-breakup. NC is your responsibility. It isn't hers. If you want NC to work for you and if you are serious about it, then you block her. A person that cares for you, will respect your decision and allow you to move forward. It doesn't seem like she has your best interest at heart. 1
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 Yeah she doesn't respect me enough to let me go 100%. My friends have told me she is even posting on social media saying her and her friend are single and talks about seeing cute guys etc. I am assuming this is to boost her ego because she really isnt that type of girl. My nc is going well I have not replied to any text she has sent me, she isnt worth my time. I just dont get why she wont let me be.
Zahara Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Yeah she doesn't respect me enough to let me go 100%. My friends have told me she is even posting on social media saying her and her friend are single and talks about seeing cute guys etc. I am assuming this is to boost her ego because she really isnt that type of girl. My nc is going well I have not replied to any text she has sent me, she isnt worth my time. I just dont get why she wont let me be. "She isn't that type of girl." Throw that out the back door. The many times I've said that only for the person to do the opposite. You want to hear someone say that she won't let you be because she doesn't want to let you go. She won't let you be for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with you or your wellbeing. Stop being hopeful about contact and accept that if contact could mean anything more than a crumb, you would have heard it by now.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 I would have heard it already? We have been broken up about 2 weeks. Of course I wanted to hear it means something positive but I do understand that it could be nothing and her just being selfish. I just find it very hard that she isnt going to miss me at some point thats all.
Zahara Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I would have heard it already? We have been broken up about 2 weeks. Of course I wanted to hear it means something positive but I do understand that it could be nothing and her just being selfish. I just find it very hard that she isnt going to miss me at some point thats all. You keep pondering on contact -- and from your past two other threads with the advice given, it hasn't registered as to why she is keeping contact with you -- so, if she hasn't given you the response you need even after telling her that you have to cut contact to move on, you have to try and stop analyzing why she's contacting other than for self-serving purposes. Dumpees project feelings and expectations on dumpers. We want them to feel the way we feel. Unfortunately, she isn't going to feel the same way you do because she most likely emotionally detached and moved on way before she even decided to finally end it with you. That's why it is so easy for them to move on and transition onto cuter guys/girls so quick, so soon.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 I guess your right as much as that hurts probably the truth. Time to move on to bigger and better things.
Zahara Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I guess your right as much as that hurts probably the truth. Time to move on to bigger and better things. If you're not ready to block her, ignore her when she contacts. She can't use you as a crutch to help her transition from the break-up. It's imperative for you to stay NC.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 I will i'll hang tough. (I booked a vacation to the islands) should be very easy to forget about all this. I wont talk to her regardless. I don't think she realizes i'm gone when she does I wont even be there to listen let alone take her back. 1
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 26, 2014 Author Posted August 26, 2014 Ex girlfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, saying i'm just not happy anymore I need to work on myself etc. Since then I have gone nc havent slipped up one time either. We had alot of semi mutual friends 2 of her friends have hit me up asking to go get a drink or two and catch up? Is she directing them to do so or do they literally just want to catch up. Also she is already on dating apps and hanging out with other guys honestly i'm pretty over it but she just tried to add me on facebook as well. I just why she just wont leave me alone? I have no need or want to talk to her?
Chi townD Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 Just keep ignoring her. Sooner or later she'll buy a clue.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 Well for everyone who has been following my story, she has broken NC yesterday she texted me once, I ignored, again, then again. Then she called and I ignored it she called again I answered simply to ask why she was calling. Lets just say she was crying for the whole hour we spoke. Never once did I say I want her back or do I want to reconcile, I said you did this to yourself, you need to realize pushing people out of your life isn't going to make you an happier you need to do what makes you happy and focus on that. She went on to tell me she misses me and still loves me I didn't say either of them back she was very upset and said that she has been miserable since our break up and she has been pretending to be happy, I hadnt asked her if she has been talking to someone else or not but she did go out of her way to mention she hasn't. The conversation ended with me saying there is no reason for us to talk if you have something worth listening to then maybe one day we can talk and thats it. She then said I will talk to you in a few days I have no idea what her intentions are i'm really not falling for anymore of the garbage. I feel like I played it pretty well honestly. Anyone else agree? Or is she trying to reconcile or what? Just very confusing that she NEEDED to talk?
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 any ideas out there, she also just texted me twice and I ignored both.
johnson_j Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Yes, keep ignoring her. You're doing GREAT! If she really wants to work things out, you'll get an unmistakable message.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 I feel like i'm doing good. She called and I showed no interest I didnt get upset I just said there is no point to talk unless you have something worth listening to. I dont get why she feels the need to text me a day after I said that, i'm ignoring it I dont even want to reply. I just dont understand whats going on in her mind that she needs to contact me especially at 8:30 in the morning.
johnson_j Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Of course you know why. She feels like she is losing you, and wants to reel you back in so that you're an "option" for her. Do you want to be an option, or do you want to be the man?
lostsoul6486 Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Keep doing what you're doing, man. I just fell into that trap with my ex (crying, saying she still loves me, etc.) and let's just say she was full of it. I was NC for 5 months and doing very well, but now she's the first thing on my mind every morning and there's nothing more painful than that. You don't seem like you have any interest in reconciling, but if you did, a month apart isn't a long enough time for both of you to let go of everything from your past relationship. Save yourself the pain and move on.
lauri Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 The minute you act like you want her or still care she will lose interest again and turn cold. Keep up the good work and continue to ignore her - shes learning that she can't mess around with you and that you aren't weak. She feels like she lost you and cannot stand that you've "gotten over her" so fast, when you should be in pain and so upset over the breakup. Well, too bad for her man. She ended it now she needs to deal with her consequences. I suggest when she calls/texts you again, ignore her and continue on with your day.
lolablue17 Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Next time she calls you ask her directly "What do you want from me"? If you get any answer but "I want you to take me back", Tell her that you don't want anything to do with her, she must stop calling you, she should look for someone else to harass. Bye bye. "Dont ever dare to contact me again"! that what she must hear.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 Thank you all for pitching in on this. I was a horrible mess 2 weeks ago couldn't even eat or anything. Now I feel strong I feel ready to hit this head on if she asks for me back. I am NO ONES second choice! I have done a good job of ignoring her its just starting to make me think over things now that she is reaching out to me she seemed so happy without me. I am going to ignore everything she says until she says I want you back i'd do anything to get you back, at that point I will just say i'm not ready for that you cant just walk in and walk out of my life whenever you want. It is hard because obviously I still love her but I cant let someone repeatedly hurt me like that. Do you guys think she is going to contact me again even though i ignored it this time? How long does it take to get the hint that I dont want to talk. 2
lostsoul6486 Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Thank you all for pitching in on this. I was a horrible mess 2 weeks ago couldn't even eat or anything. Now I feel strong I feel ready to hit this head on if she asks for me back. I am NO ONES second choice! I have done a good job of ignoring her its just starting to make me think over things now that she is reaching out to me she seemed so happy without me. I am going to ignore everything she says until she says I want you back i'd do anything to get you back, at that point I will just say i'm not ready for that you cant just walk in and walk out of my life whenever you want. It is hard because obviously I still love her but I cant let someone repeatedly hurt me like that. Do you guys think she is going to contact me again even though i ignored it this time? How long does it take to get the hint that I dont want to talk. She will probably contact you again. How long it takes for her to get a clue depends on what kind of person she is. I told myself I would do exactly what you say you are going to do and I sadly didn't have the strength to go through with it. It was the worst decision ever. I'm glad you're feeling strong again! It's because you have regained your power but you could easily give it back if you slip up like I did. If you do, trust me the pain you felt for those two weeks will come back and be ten times worse. I'm going through that right now. Maybe some day in the future you two will reconcile, but you have to completely let each other go first. I know that's risking maybe losing her forever, but it's a risk you have to take. Good luck!
Simon Phoenix Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 I would go the extra mile and block her, completely sever any lifeline she has to you.
Author Justsimplyliving Posted September 2, 2014 Author Posted September 2, 2014 I have hung tough everyone. The next day after the call she texted me saying I hope everything is going well, I hope you have a good week blah blah.. I ignored it then she texted me again saying I'm sorry I wasnt trying to talk to you as friends which I ignored again. Seems to be never ending..
lauri Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 I have hung tough everyone. The next day after the call she texted me saying I hope everything is going well, I hope you have a good week blah blah.. I ignored it then she texted me again saying I'm sorry I wasnt trying to talk to you as friends which I ignored again. Seems to be never ending.. Good for you to continue not responding. You are showing good self control by doing that. Your ex is not taking you ignoring her too well. She is feeling like a horrible person and is having difficulty accepting that "you are okay" and "able to move on and not talk to her". It burns a girl so hard when that happens...you should block her and be done with her. If she has something worth while to say, she will. That email / phone call may come 4 months down the road or even 1 year...or maybe never. Either way, you are protecting yourself and helping yourself heal by going NC.
Recommended Posts