Stone Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 God I hate No COntact threads.... never thought that I would actually start one. I have had it, Greg and I have had problems for months but last night was the last straw... I came BACK from my mothers Monday ( big mistake) we went to church he said he's going to change bla bla. I stupidly believed him THEN I had to have EMERGENCY oral surgery yesterday because my wisdom teeth are impacted and infected, I was in the ER twice last week for migranes so they took them out with minimal medications while they monitored the baby. ( it hurt and still does like a SOB PLUS they can't giveme ANY Pain medication because of pregnancy.) ANYWAYs I called Greg while in the hospital and told him he needed to come home early and take care of Noah he said ok I'll go get you some soup and I'll be home this was at 3:30 he came home at 1am!!!! He was at a bar So I am going to stay with my mother and I will Not contact him... I think this hurts me more than it hurts him, I don't know if I am trying to teach him a lesson or what.. but I really don't know how I'll do it. I am so angry, hurt and dissipointed I just want to punch him in his face. The sad part is I don't think he will really care, and NO contact means I wont know. I wish I could go on vacation
Author Stone Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 I already went in October it was fun though
Barby Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 I'm so sorry for all of this! So he didn't come and take care of your son? What a jerk!!! I think doing the NC thing will show you how much he cares. If he contacts you....you'll know he misses you. But if he doesn't..... well I guess you'll have your answer no matter how painful. I think it would be best for you to NOT contact him NO matter what! Let HIM contact you! I hope you get to feeling better. I've had both my wisdom teeth pulled and even though I was "numbed" and "under" to an extent I still felt the first one. I felt the pain of them pulling and jerking on it. So I had to be admitted to the Hosp. to go "fully under" to have the second one pulled....those hurt like a bioootch for days and days afterward even "with" the strongest pain meds....so I can only imagine how much pain you're in "without" any medication! Hope that you get to feeling better on ALL fronts!
savethedrama4allama Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Well, I guess you've seen how he'll be there for you when you really need him. I would go to my mom's and practice NC too, and I don't know why. Just my visceral reaction, I guess. How long do you plan on doing this? Is it over, or are you proving a point? You've been getting by without him so far, I think you can continue to do so. The last thing you need is another child to keep tabs on, and thats what he's acting like instead of a father-to-be. You'd think that he'd care more for the sole fact that you're carrying his child! Grrr.
SadAndLonely Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 I can sympathize. I had to have four impacted wisdom teeth taken out, got a jaw infection, and couldn't take any good painkillers because I'm allergic to narcotics. Sucked really bad, but then a friend, who is a reiki master, did something that actually helped. If you're not opposed to homeopathic remedies, I'd give it a shot. Being in the ER on Sunday for an ovarian cyst bigger than a grapefruit, I can also relate to that. I need a vacation too!! However, my boyfriend has done just the opposite and is being a lot nicer to me. I wish I could give you advice, but I would recommend doing the NC and focusing on yourself and your baby and your other son. It'll be hard, but this is where good priorities help. You can't be stressin' with a baby growing inside you! Just not healthy. So take it easy, get a pregnancy massage, and ignore the bastard for now.
Author Stone Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4allama ? Is it over, or are you proving a point? : that the problem I just don't even know the awanser to that
tiki Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Just give it time. Did he justify his actions (or attempt)? Was he remorseful? What was his excuse?
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Take it day by day. I am SOOOO PISSED at him for you!! He needs to GROW THE F UP and fast. WTF is that - going to a bar and coming home at 1am. He needs a good hard boot up his ass and fast. Stay with your mom, rely on her and friends (and us!) to help you through this right now. Don't contact him. (read No Foolin's thread in Coping about NC...I stumbled in there one day and was BLOWN away by this guy's words and wisdom - Wish he was around many years ago in my previous relationships!!) I'm really sorry this is happening to you. Concentrate and put all your focus into you, the little one inside you and Noah. Try your best to forget about him. He needs to stew in it for a while and figure out how to make it all up to you. What a complete FOOL he is.
Author Stone Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Just give it time. Did he justify his actions (or attempt)? Was he remorseful? What was his excuse? He said he' sorry he just lost track of time. I told im I am leaving and he just said " can we go out to diner tonight and talk" I said no and left
laRubiaBonita Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 so sorry stone! this is soo difficult! I say NC at least till Allyson is born.... maybe by then he will have either drank himself into a hole, or realized that you mean business. I would definaely look into getting full custody of your kids, if you have not already.
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Stick to your guns, Stone....This guy is in his 30s and he still hasn't grown up...if this doesn't, what will? It so sucks when you are hurt, ouch - the wisdom teeth thing, I can so feel you on that one, I have been putting off getting mine out, and they started hurting while I was preggo last year and my worst fear was having to have them out w/o pain meds!! Yikes! I am hurting for ya, baby. Much love to you, otter
d'Arthez Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 I am sorry for you Stone. I agree, you'd better start immediate NC with him. And given the fact that he has made so many promises, important promises, that he did break, I would say: enough is enough. Lost the track of the time by half a day? That's only possible if you are permanently high, and would not have seen through the windows even once. You know how little support he has given you, the past months. How little he has done to prove himself. Stone, I am not trying to be harsh with you. But sometimes even the love and devotion of a woman cannot save a man. Greg has all the signs of being such a man. I know, it is one of the most difficult things in life to accept. But it seems that now you are in a position that you must come to accept it. You can try to keep living with him around. But you'd still be some sort of single mother, albeit one with a totally undependable partner. The birth of your daughter will not magically cure him of his ailments. His bi-polar disorder, the lying, his drinking problems. All these will remain, and cannot disappear 'magically' because of the birth of your daughter. You can give Greg chance after chance after chance. You already have. And he blew chance for chance for chance. Not in small ways, but in major ways. You would know if he was going through just a bad patch. But he loves the state where he is in, otherwise he would have stopped drinking, attended church regularly, and do something constructive about his bi-polar disorder. All of which he has not even begun to do. You do many things for him. You pay half the rent, do the cooking, the cleaning, and everything else. You even run his business! And what does he do, except for not keeping his promises? He is good with your son. I really feel playing with your son is a sort of escape mechanism for him; every moment he plays he is not remembered of his responsibilities towards you and himself. I wish you the best, especially in these hard and difficult times.
moimeme Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Stone, he's an alcoholic. The booze has won him. He will always be in its clutches - it's his mistress now. No matter how sorry he is, he's not going to improve. He didn't lose track of time; he was not going to leave his mistress until he had his fill of her. If you keep taking him back, this will be your life - sloppy seconds to a bottle. This is no way for you or your children to live.
Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Awe crap! I'm sorry Stone.. Third Molars suck.. and no meds sucks more.. but having a sh*thead boyfriend sucks the most! Hope things get easier for you girl
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