johndoe13 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Hi My girlfriend and I had ups and downs for 2 year now. Basically i've had a hard time trusting her since 1) she seemed to flirt too much at first and 2) she had a promiscous past (don't know her number but it is above 25+ for sure) she's over 30 Basically a ex work collegue of mine (also a promiscous woman (and she is really pretty) used to inform me on how promiscous women behaved,FF, one-nights. It all matched my girlfriend so it created friction at home; because I would project her behaviour to my girlfriend's past. Anways; a couple of months ago I promised my girlfriend I would not see her anymore. She said that she hates her because I associate her past to hers...and that I'm more lenient with my collegue than my girlfriend. I had lunch with her and a mate a week ago and she was pissed! She says it 's not even jealousy! She told me that she felt worse than if I had actually cheated on her with a stranger!!! I said WTF! What is she trying to do!
SawtoothMars Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Hi My girlfriend and I had ups and downs for 2 year now. Basically i've had a hard time trusting her since 1) she seemed to flirt too much at first and 2) she had a promiscous past (don't know her number but it is above 25+ for sure) she's over 30 Basically a ex work collegue of mine (also a promiscous woman (and she is really pretty) used to inform me on how promiscous women behaved,FF, one-nights. It all matched my girlfriend so it created friction at home; because I would project her behaviour to my girlfriend's past. Anways; a couple of months ago I promised my girlfriend I would not see her anymore. She said that she hates her because I associate her past to hers...and that I'm more lenient with my collegue than my girlfriend. I had lunch with her and a mate a week ago and she was pissed! She says it 's not even jealousy! She told me that she felt worse than if I had actually cheated on her with a stranger!!! I said WTF! What is she trying to do! When it comes to people and their pasts... you have to just decide what you are willing to accept in a relationship and then go with it. If her past is too much for you... let her go. Otherwise you should not be dredging this stuff up all the time. I've personally dated some promiscuous women in the past. They were all nut jobs... ever single one. That isn't to say that some are not... and I've met some damn near virgin nutjobs as well... but it is something I look at in determining the emotional health of a potential mate. I think the same applies to men as well. The one thing you should strongly consider is that perhaps you just have a problem with her past because you are insecure... or don't have much of a past yourself?
DKT3 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) I don't think a 30+ years old woman with 25 partners is that bad. Women are sexual beings as well. Besides women lose "it" on average at 17, so 2 x 13 = 26. 2 guys a year for 13 years isn't what I would call "promiscous". Oh yeah, how many guys she slept with is your issue. If you were more confident as a man who and how many shouldn't matter as long as she isn't doing it now. Edited September 3, 2014 by DKT3 3
lolablue17 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 1. You project your fears and insecurities on her, and by that try to over control her. It's not a matter of right or wrong, is a matter of productivity because if you continue with that direction you will really solve all problems by ruin and terminating your relationship with your GF. 2. Your GF were trying to tell you as loud as she can that your contact with your colleague is hurting her, and damages your R. Listen to her. She knows better than you. 3. Don't take too seriously her words about "if you cheated it wouldn't be so bad". I mean - Don't try that at home 1
BetrayedH Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 She's afraid you're going to cheat with this promiscuous woman and she's wanting you to have a boundary that protects your primary relationship. The fact that you disregarded her request obviously isn't going over well. 1
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