What is it with people?

[Gaeta]

You left her home alone bored out of her mind. She sees a computer and decides to turn it on probably to play freecell or go on FB. You are way ahead of yourself here with your accusation. Look at how at first you accused her of cracking your pc and now she just turned it on. RELAX.

[acapelo_dp]

Yeah, I honestly do not see this as a huge deal. She was most likely bored, powered up your computer to use it. I use my boyfriends laptop all the time when he isn't home, as he says it's alright. I think you are looking too far into this.

[BJP56]

Seriously what is it with people? I left my new GF alone at my place for a few hours and got notification from my home computer my account has been accessed. She does not have the password, I did not give it to her. I do no write passwords down ever. She does have the means to crack it or otherwise circumvent the password. I've nothing to hide on my computer and nothing I wouldn't tell/show her if she asked. I'm just sickened that she'd do this. Of course she'd be able to access all/any documents, pictures, Facebook and other accounts with credentials saved in the browser.

 

 

I know the account has been accessed because I've a piece of software installed that sends a notification when the account has become active or logged in.

 

 

I plan to confirm the login via logs at home then confront her about it. Depending on the answer (lies/truth) she may well be single before the night is over.

 

 

Seriously? What do you have to hide? I let my GF use my phone she goes through my logs and has access to my computer because I know I have nothing to hide. Unless its your bank account, dont trip over it.

 

My 2 cents

[mightycpa]

My system logs power on/off events, login attempts, and what services have started. WiFi is secured and I've given her the password to use WiFi. When her mobile is within range it'll connect to it automatically. There is no camera installed on or near the computer, nor is there any type of key logging software/hardware present. I've not confronted her about any of this yet as I've not yet figured out the "why" question.

 

How long between powerup and poweroff? How many login attempts?

 

Maybe it would be easier for us to piece together the story if you just posted the log entries.

 

I'm not convinced about that camera, by the way. Maybe in a book that has been hollowed out to hold the recording equipment? Or maybe she put something IN the keyboard that does the job and transmits signals to her phone. You never know.

[IhaveNoHope]

If she was in fact snooping, then yes, I would terminate the relationship. On the other hand, I find it incredibly strange that you watch your computer so closely. If I was accused of snooping, and I HONESTLY was not, I would terminate the relationship myself. I would be seriously offended, and view you as being completely distrusting.

 

 

I have only ever been concerned about my computer being accessed when there were iffy things on it.

 

 

You sound as though you've already made up your mind. If you don't trust her, and now feel you have to watch her, I'd bite the bullet now while it IS still new, and end it.

[longjohn]

If she was in fact snooping, then yes, I would terminate the relationship. On the other hand, I find it incredibly strange that you watch your computer so closely. If I was accused of snooping, and I HONESTLY was not, I would terminate the relationship myself. I would be seriously offended, and view you as being completely distrusting.

 

 

I have only ever been concerned about my computer being accessed when there were iffy things on it.

 

 

You sound as though you've already made up your mind. If you don't trust her, and now feel you have to watch her, I'd bite the bullet now while it IS still new, and end it.

My computer sends out a message to an application that tells me.. I'm online. The reason it does this is so I know it's up and alive should I need to connect in from the office or if I'm on the other side of the planet. She knows there's a password on it and is aware it's locked. I'd be happy to give her the password if she asked. Maybe I'll make her an account on it so she can use it without tripping over my emails, online bank account and other items in my profile. I've nothing at all to hide. I often let her use it while I'm at home on my profile. She also uses my phone/tablet without any question. Yes for the record I can and do also track my phone/tablet remotely should they ever be lost or stolen.

[smackie9]

To me it would be like my husband going through my purse or wallet. I don't touch anything of my husbands unless he asks me to look something up, or check an email for him. If his phone goes off, I don't even look at who's calling or answer it. I don't see the desire/need to look through a partner's phone or computer.....I really don't get it.

[IhaveNoHope]

My computer sends out a message to an application that tells me.. I'm online. The reason it does this is so I know it's up and alive should I need to connect in from the office or if I'm on the other side of the planet. She knows there's a password on it and is aware it's locked. I'd be happy to give her the password if she asked. Maybe I'll make her an account on it so she can use it without tripping over my emails, online bank account and other items in my profile. I've nothing at all to hide. I often let her use it while I'm at home on my profile. She also uses my phone/tablet without any question. Yes for the record I can and do also track my phone/tablet remotely should they ever be lost or stolen.

 

 

Forgive me, I am technologically impaired, and have no concept of how to even begin to set that kind of thing up. So, in my minds eye, it seemed like great lengths to go to, but that's because I'm pretty much a drooling idiot in the computer department.

 

 

I still think you should tread lightly, because I stand by the fact that being accused of digging through someone's personal files, emails, and what not, would be very offensive. If she knows your computer is password locked, and she has had free use of it while you were home, I find it odd she would go snooping. She would have to know you'd be notified? Dumb move for a seasoned snooper.

 

 

Good luck, I hope it was a mistake, and if not, I hope you find someone who can trust a little.

[longjohn]

Forgive me, I am technologically impaired, and have no concept of how to even begin to set that kind of thing up. So, in my minds eye, it seemed like great lengths to go to, but that's because I'm pretty much a drooling idiot in the computer department.

 

 

I still think you should tread lightly, because I stand by the fact that being accused of digging through someone's personal files, emails, and what not, would be very offensive. If she knows your computer is password locked, and she has had free use of it while you were home, I find it odd she would go snooping. She would have to know you'd be notified? Dumb move for a seasoned snooper.

 

 

Good luck, I hope it was a mistake, and if not, I hope you find someone who can trust a little.

Thanks and I can understand. There are things that are beyond me that seem easy for others to do. I do intend to tread very lightly. She actually has no idea.

[rester]

I agree with some of the others that she was probably bored at your apartment and wanted to check her facebook or the news or whatever stuff is easier to do on a computer than a phone.

 

She tried to log on, found that she couldn't, and turned it off. Doesn't sound suspicious at all, especially if you routinely let her on it when you are around.

[cristalina]

The temptation to snoop is very real for many people, especially those that are insecure in the relationship. Perhaps this is evidence of a deeper issue? Perhaps not. Either way, you should definitely discuss it with her. I hope you are able to work it out! - Cris

[GravityMan]

There is no evidence that indicates that she was actually "snooping". Turning on your computer and trying (and presumably failing) to log in out of boredom does not automatically constitute snooping nor malicious intent of any kind. The more likely explanation is that she was just bored.

 

This entire keylogger theory is silly. Unless your girlfriend is tech-savvy and/or works in IT, chances are she's never even heard of a keylogger.

 

I think your bad experiences with your ex-wife have made you very paranoid...i.e. you are overreacting and going to great lengths to try and "protect" yourself physically and psychologically from that situation potentially repeating itself again. The danger with that is that it could lead to you driving away potentially perfectly good future women (perhaps your current GF is one such person). Sure, there is a degree of risk in getting involved with anyone...but if you aren't able to trust people and have a little faith in them, then I don't think you are truly ready for a relationship. Both parties have to be a little vulnerable and be willing to "give" a bit of themselves in order for a relationship to have a chance of being good.

 

I would just let the whole matter drop for now. Gaeta's right...relax. Don't create unnecessary drama out of thin air.

 

If there are additional, clearer signs that she is indeed snooping, then it may be prudent to discuss it (in a civil, calm, mature manner) with her.

 

Lastly, you should consider creating a guest account on your computer, with the appropriate security privileges.

[Gaeta]

Maybe I'll make her an account on it so she can use it without tripping over my emails, online bank account and other items in my profile. I've nothing at all to hide. I often let her use it while I'm at home on my profile. She also uses my phone/tablet without any question. Yes for the record I can and do also track my phone/tablet remotely should they ever be lost or stolen.

 

Two things:

 

It's obvious you are one super smart pc guy. How come you keep important info on your pc like bank info!

 

If you've let her use it already than that's your answer. In her mind it's ok for her to use it. I know if my boyfriend handed me his laptop a couple of times I would assume it's ok for me to use it if I am left home alone at his place.

[longjohn]

I'm going to go with the most logical here and assume it was turned on in he hopes of killing some time on the net vs anything else. No further need to analyze or over analyze the situation.