infamousma Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 It's been a few weeks since I had broken up with my ex after she told me she kissed another dude, blah blah blah, it just happened and such and she didnt care. blah blah blah. but everytime i tried to talk to her before I started my NC, i could feel a tension that she didnt really want to talk to me but did. but anywho, ive been talking to a mutual friend and she seems to be really taking our breakup hard even though when we talked she put on a front with me sayings shes back to normal and such. Shes 21 and i was her first and first real relationship even though it was a long distance (US and Netherlands). I feel like shes going to make a really big mistake if she continues this heavy drinking life of her... I feel like I kind of want ot talk to one of her best friends to watch over her but at the same time i feel like maybe she needs to hit this rock bottom even though i dont want it to because it could really hurt her... im confused as to what to do. i just dont want this girl to hit that point where it could go bad because again im her first real relationship and it doesnt seem like shes know how to handle.
Hollywood-Tourist Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I can relate to this except I'm a guy. I've recently been going through a temporary break with my fiancé & no contact as well, I'm not handling it very well, infact I'm distraught. I have turned to alcohol on a few occasions recently & although I feel better at that moment, the next day I feel crap because alcohol is a depressant & can make my mood/mental state worse so I've come to realise. Now I have stayed away from alcohol for that reason because it solves nothing. I suggest you tell your exs friend to suggest the same to her, it will help.
amaysngrace Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Quit thinking that you have anything to do with the poor choices that she is making. She is the only one making them.
PegNosePete Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 The advantage of being your EX is that you don't have to give 2 short ships what she does any more. It's not your concern.
Zahara Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) She's a grown woman, made decisions that resulted in repercussions. And she has to learn to be accountable and if that means hitting rock bottom, then well and good, lesson learned -- not at the expense of you being Mr. Nice Guy. She's 21. She's probably drinking because she wants to. Stop projecting that it may be because of you ending the relationship. And she is in Europe and you're in the States. It would be best for you to cut the cord and start focusing on your own life. Edited September 3, 2014 by Zahara 1
Author infamousma Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 She's a grown woman, made decisions that resulted in repercussions. And she has to learn to be accountable and if that means hitting rock bottom, then well and good, lesson learned -- not at the expense of you being Mr. Nice Guy. She's 21. She's probably drinking because she wants to. Stop projecting that it may be because of you ending the relationship. And she is in Europe and you're in the States. It would be best for you to cut the cord and start focusing on your own life. well before i started my NC, she told me why she drank (it was because of the breakup and to help her sleep, which it didnt because she would still be up until around 5-6AM her time trying to talk to her friends until she got tired finally) and said that she would stop it but apparently she hasnt according to our mutual friend... But like my friend said, she's young and dumb she will have to learn. I thought about it today and I will continue on with the NC and my own life as planned. It's hard because even though at one point in my relationship i kinda didnt want to date her at one point, now my thought had come true and it emotionally hurts me more than I expected because our relationship was very unique for the last 3 years from friends to lovers -.-
mightycpa Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 She will somehow muddle through it without your help. Give her space, let her make a few mistakes.
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