iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Ok this is a first text conversation. Is there anything to read here: about 10 am Bob- hey sarah, it"s bob. Are you up. 30 min later Sarah- yea whats up Bob- nevermind. Someone woke me up so I wanted to pay it forward lol 10 min later Sarah-Lol ok Bob- 10 min and you gave me 5 letters. 2 of which repeat, i should point out. Is this off to as bad of a start as Bob thinks?lol Any advise?
PegNosePete Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 You said nothing and she said nothing back. Then you had a go at her for saying nothing. What are you trying to achieve here? Advice: learn to communicate better. 1
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) How would you guys/anyone have gone about it? Should I try to remedy the damage now. Or just wait to start fresh when i see her next? This was my first text with her. The 10 minute comment...i thought she would have thought that was funny. Edited September 3, 2014 by iamgaius
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Ummmmm... some peeps may not see the humor to lighten up, if expecting some seriousness first. Meaning you ended the brief humor with seriousness... should have asked her how she's been and if she was busy. Having the last part of the 10 minutes be about letters, and making a point on repeated letters. Kinda made the whole thing less to be desired. I am a bit different with convo... send a line or two in reply, not just wee sentences. To me the whole segment had no continuity between you. If I were to add a random clip from 10 minutes of saying Hi... it would be a bit lengthy. Maybe you need to show more of what you feel, and explain your thoughts about her letters in general. Humoring her up so promptly may make her feel like your taking her lightly. Just my two cents... as for me, I would edit my convo so much before posting that nobody would make heads or tails just as well. So who is to know exactly what all was said from beginning to end. If you are just wanting to know about humor in general. If you are not funny all the time, popping off something unexpectedly can throw someone off. As that type of humor really is not LOL to me, just a chuckle if anything. Maybe if you did it like Knock knock... are you up??? Hellooooo Hellooooo!! Candy gram!!! Flowers... Plumber.... It would not sound so direct at her. easy to see your being cute funny. 1
Zahara Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I asked for her number. She gave it to me...although it took me like a month to ask her. It was more painless than I thought. Maybe I overthought it? But then I pretended to lose the number (play hard to get or something lol...i cant think straight around the girl). The 2nd time that I told her I lost it and re-asked, she said, "oh my god". The 3rd time she said, "this is the 3rd time I've giving you my number." Is this the same girl? For crying out loud, just ask her out already instead of the meaningless banter you seem to be caught up in. At some point you're going to become "that annoying pain in the ass." 2
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Is this the same girl? For crying out loud, just ask her out already instead of the meaningless banter you seem to be caught up in. Yes, same one. I just feel bad that this was my first "real" interaction with her... So how in the world CAN I ask her out? "do you want to go out for a drink tonight?" Would that work on this person/thing? Sorry just a bit pissed. Lol. She doesn't really provide anything to work with...And I get the most interaction out of her than anyone else at work....she is shy and really keeps a distance (her sister has said that she is, in fact, shy...so its not that she wants to be distant. Her sister also mentioned that people misinterpret this as her being "disrespectful", "off putting", etc. ). Granted, people think I am goofy/funny, polite, enjoy the job (I don't, but fake it. She can't/doesn't). Also, I don't think she's ever dated though...is there anyway to find out? Without bluntly asking which would be pretty creepy. At some point you're going to become "that annoying pain in the ass." With her? The board? Or both? Lol serious question though Edited September 3, 2014 by iamgaius
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 Ok so what do I do when I see her next time? To salvage whatever is left. This girl isn't exactly batting guys away right and left. I find her attractive. Please advise.
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Duplicate message sorry. Ipad issue Edited September 3, 2014 by iamgaius
GemmaUK Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Yeah, that's bad. You initially came across as though you wanted to wake her up and then have a dig about how what she wrote back to you and the speed of her reply. I would have left it there and not responded. That along with asking for her number three times...I would just think this was a guy trying to annoy me.
Zahara Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I just feel bad that this was my first "real" interaction with her... No, the annoying 3 times you interacted with her, asking her for her number were wasted opportunities. If it were me, I'd think you were just being a jerk and annoying me. When you ask a woman for her number and then tell her you lost it, what message does that send? It's telling her it's not really that important to you. So how in the world CAN I ask her out? "do you want to go out for a drink tonight?" Would that work on this person/thing? Sorry just a bit pissed. Lol. Do you have a few friends at work you can head to happy hour with? Plan one and invite her. If you have bigger balls, text/call and ask her, "Hey Sarah, I'd like to take you out for a drink this weekend or sometime after work." Then she'll say, "Sure, sounds good." Or she'll turn your down. Either way, you'll have an answer. There was a poster here that had a man approach her at the bar, talk to her and then grab her for a kiss. I'm sure you'll survive a simple question. She doesn't really provide anything to work with... She gave you her number. If she didn't want to have anything to do with you, she would not have given you her number TWICE. She has given you much to work with. You're just chicken because you're afraid of getting rejected. Also, I don't think she's ever dated though...is there anyway to find out? Without bluntly asking which would be pretty creepy. Why is that relevant? With her? The board? Or both? Lol serious question though With her mostly and with the board at some point.
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 I would have left it there and not responded. Just to clarify, when you say *I*, do you mean you as me or you as her? Btw she still hasn't replied....
HappyLove Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 You are either hella cute or she's hella desperate maybe a little of both, but for whatever reason she keeps giving you her number. I advise no more texting! You suck at it. Your last text to her should say exactly this. "It's Bob I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a drink or bite to eat Friday night".
Gloria25 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Ouch.... Now I remember this OP.... You were the guy who "pretended" to lose her tel and then you hit her up with this? DUDE....IF, and if this chick does ever give you the time of day you need to ask her out in person, don't beat around the bush, take her to a nice place (even if it's a coffee date) and you need to treat her like a queen.
Gloria25 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Ok so what do I do when I see her next time? To salvage whatever is left. This girl isn't exactly batting guys away right and left. I find her attractive. Please advise. Excuse me ^^?? No wonder why you treat her the way you do. You have a smugness that screams "she oughta be grateful I'm giving her the time of day, because obviously she has no options" No wonder why she doesn't appear to be responding to you with more interest. I think your actions are telling her that you're lukewarm about her.
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 Lol I'm not usually this bad. It's just her. I can't think around her. She doesn't make it easier either. But how do I find out what her relationship history is? I doubt it's vast.... Maybe that helps sway the pendulum....
GemmaUK Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Just to clarify, when you say *I*, do you mean you as me or you as her? Btw she still hasn't replied.... ' I' as in her. I would have not replied if I had been her. I'm not surprised she hasn't replied. I suspect she won't so don't wait on a reply.
Zahara Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Lol I'm not usually this bad. It's just her. I can't think around her. She doesn't make it easier either. But how do I find out what her relationship history is? I doubt it's vast.... Maybe that helps sway the pendulum.... No, you're the one making it hard. 1) She has given you her number twice. You've failed to get the message and act on it. 2) You text her with inane words -- everything BUT asking her out. Honestly, if a man lost my number and used that number to ramble, I'd think he's just wasting my time. If you want to ask her out, stop wasting anymore time -- ask her out. A few of us have given you examples of what to say. Use it. What does it matter her relationship history? Focusing on all the wrong things. Edited September 3, 2014 by Zahara 2
Author iamgaius Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 Ok do I bother apologizing for the dumb texts? Or just put that out of mind? I utterly freeze around this girl. We're both early 20s. If I do manage to ask her out I was thinking about skydiving date? I did that with another girl and it was pretty cool (expensive as hell though). Or am I overthinking?
Zahara Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Ok do I bother apologizing for the dumb texts? Or just put that out of mind? I utterly freeze around this girl. We're both early 20s. If I do manage to ask her out I was thinking about skydiving date? I did that with another girl and it was pretty cool (expensive as hell though). Or am I overthinking? No, forget about the dumb texts. Don't remind her about it again. No skydiving!!!! And I've done it before and it cost me $300. Are you nuts? Really, I'm beginning to wonder if you're pulling our leg with this. You can't extend a simple drink date, yet you're jumping to such an extreme -- skydiving? Ask her out for a drink. See how that goes. Then you ask her out to dinner. Then the next date you can take her to a movie and dinner...slow and gradual progression. Edited September 3, 2014 by Zahara 2
sid33 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Ok do I bother apologizing for the dumb texts? Or just put that out of mind? I utterly freeze around this girl. We're both early 20s. If I do manage to ask her out I was thinking about skydiving date? I did that with another girl and it was pretty cool (expensive as hell though). Or am I overthinking? Yes, you're over thinking. Sadly, you've already diminished your chances, she's just another human being, not the goddess you've made her out to be in your mind.
Author iamgaius Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 (edited) No, you're the one making it hard. 1) She has given you her number twice. You've failed to get the message and act on it. For what it worth, I had every intention of coming clean about "pretending" to lose her number. Eventually, when after the 1st or 2nd date (depending of my confidence), the topic would come up and I would have said something "you really think, I would lose your number? I needed to buy time.". Maybe she'd find it original or cute that I'd embarrass myself for her...even if a bit of dishonesty was involved. 2) You text her with inane words -- everything BUT asking her out. So is it likely she knows I have feelings for her? Or at least has that impression? In that case, I could just back off a couple days...let the mistakes fade then work up the courage to ask her? What do you think? Honestly, if a man lost my number and used that number to ramble, I'd think he's just wasting my time. If you want to ask her out, stop wasting anymore time -- ask her out. A few of us have given you examples of what to say. Use it. What does it matter her relationship history? Focusing on all the wrong things. Guys, I understand its probably easy for you, but we're in our early 20s. Most of my experiences are taking the girl to a movie, coffee, etc. when she opens up to me about her tastes. It isn't that easy with this girl. On my part this is a pretty big risk. Apologies if i seem apprehensive. I am. Edited September 4, 2014 by iamgaius
Zahara Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 For what it worth, I had every intention of coming clean about "pretending" to lose her number. Eventually, when after the 1st or 2nd date (depending of my confidence), the topic would come up and I would have said something "you really think, I would lose your number? I needed to buy time.". Maybe she'd find it original or cute that I'd embarrass myself for her...even if a bit of dishonesty was involved. Do not bring this up. It's not cute. It sounds immature and insecure. I don't know what "time" you were buying. Women know that when a man is asking for her number, he's likely 1) interested 2) he's going to contact 3) he's going to ask her out So is it likely she knows I have feelings for her? Or at least has that impression? In that case, I could just back off a couple days...let the mistakes fade then work up the courage to ask her? What do you think? Who knows what she thinks at this point? You come off game playing. Stop wasting time. Just ask her already. You've had enough time to find courage. Guys, I understand its probably easy for you, but we're in our early 20s. Most of my experiences are taking the girl to a movie, coffee, etc. when she opens up to me about her tastes. It isn't that easy with this girl. On my part this is a pretty big risk. Apologies if i seem apprehensive. I am. It's intimidating. But you already asked her for her number. She gave it to to TWICE. A woman that isn't interested won't give it to you once, let alone TWICE! Just ask her for coffee. She'll either beam or she'll say no. Then at least you will know. Asking her today or a month from now -- you still have to ask because you are interested. You take too long and interest wanes. It almost becomes annoying. Everthing is a risk. Even when two people are dating, in a relationship, in a marriage. It's all a risk. You're magnifying coffee with a girl.
GemmaUK Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Unless she is really desperate for a relationship/date/man then she is unlikely to say yes to a date by now. You're hard work already OP! I would be put off by that in any term of dating. 1
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