preraph Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Well, just reverse the situation and see how you'd feel. You're out with your girl, you've planned a good date, you're paying for it, you've made time out of your busy schedule. You sit down at a table and she keeps eyeing three good looking guys standing by the bar while you're talking to her. Then the waiter comes over and she's overly flirty with him. How do you feel? Challenged or like you just got chewed up and spit out? 1
CharlieFox Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Maybe he's not allowed to dump her either. Haha, he did try, but she told him she would jump off the nearest bridge if he does...
mightycpa Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Haha, he did try, but she told him she would jump off the nearest bridge if he does... And that was supposed to dissuade him?
mightycpa Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Well, just reverse the situation and see how you'd feel. You're out with your girl, you've planned a good date, you're paying for it, you've made time out of your busy schedule. You sit down at a table and she keeps eyeing three good looking guys standing by the bar while you're talking to her. Then the waiter comes over and she's overly flirty with him. How do you feel? Challenged or like you just got chewed up and spit out? I feel like she's going to be ready for me when we get back to my place. Girls like that don't hold back. Will it last with me? No, but that's ok. It will be fun while it lasts. There's great dates, great girlfriends and people you'd marry. Not everybody fits into all three categories. You've got to know what you're dealing with.
evanescentworld Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 its a question nothing more. i wanted to get peoples views. and if i would have asked you this in real life i can almost guarantee that you wouldnt continue to put words in my mouth. but online its always a good thing to do so. How have I put words into your mouth? I don't need to do that, you're mushing them up perfectly well on your own, you don't need my help...
preraph Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 I feel like she's going to be ready for me when we get back to my place. Girls like that don't hold back. Will it last with me? No, but that's ok. It will be fun while it lasts. There's great dates, great girlfriends and people you'd marry. Not everybody fits into all three categories. You've got to know what you're dealing with. Well, that may be what you think, but women aren't going to think that way if you do it. Disrespect isn't conducive to getting laid either.
Author chados Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 How have I put words into your mouth? I don't need to do that, you're mushing them up perfectly well on your own, you don't need my help... because youre implying that i mean something or going to do something when i've already said that i dont. and instead of taking my word on it or just ignore it, you keep repeating it. which doesnt make me feel sad or dislike you. but its just a waste of time. if this wouldnt have been on the internet im pretty sure we would be able to get through it. look, you got to ask stupid and weird questions to get answers and opinions on them.
Atticus9292012 Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 If you're in relationship/married you're not dead. I never got upset at my husband or any exboyfriends for looking. Their is a big difference though between admiring and being disrespectful or acting on it. We all know what its like for someone to stare or make us feel uncomfortable.
evanescentworld Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 because youre implying that i mean something or going to do something when i've already said that i dont. I've implied nothing of the kind. I have simply disagreed with your definitions of certain actions, and your generalisation of what you assume people do, and why. I don't give a flying fig whether you do something or not. I merely pointed out that your definition of jealousy, and why people do what they do, and what their rationale is, is mistaken. look, you got to ask stupid and weird questions to get answers and opinions on them. In that case, expect stupid and weird responses.
Author chados Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 I've implied nothing of the kind. I have simply disagreed with your definitions of certain actions, and your generalisation of what you assume people do, and why. I don't give a flying fig whether you do something or not. I merely pointed out that your definition of jealousy, and why people do what they do, and what their rationale is, is mistaken. In that case, expect stupid and weird responses. "There is no selfish reason the greater majority of the time, and if that's your motive, or in your thoughts, then you have a big problem my friend, and it's an immature attitude to have. You need to talk to your GF, because if you use jealousy as a tool, and look at other women lustfully, she doesn't deserve to be with you." explain.
evanescentworld Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Note the 'if', used repeatedly. It wasn't an accusation of WHAT you were going to do; it was an indication that IF you ever had it in mind, it would not be a good idea. IF. Big word, 'If'.
Author chados Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 Note the 'if', used repeatedly. It wasn't an accusation of WHAT you were going to do; it was an indication that IF you ever had it in mind, it would not be a good idea. IF. Big word, 'If'. yes but earlier i said. im not planning to do it and i think its a douchey thing to do. so it doesnt make any sense for you saying that i should talk to my girlfriend about it right?.
evanescentworld Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Yes it does, IF that's the way "you" view jealousy. As a tool to be used to manipulate "your" partner. IF - and only IF - that is how "you" perceive jealousy should be used, THEN it's wise to discuss this viewpoint with a partner. (The "your" and "you" are generic, not specific.)
Elle1975 Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 When I caught a couple exes looking at other women, I could tell they were looking "for" rather than just looking at their environment. So yes, I think it's telling of someone's intentions. I personally don't look at other men if I am with someone. Not in a predatory way. If I am single, yes I will. You will catch me looking at guys that I find attractive.
Author chados Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 Yes it does, IF that's the way "you" view jealousy. As a tool to be used to manipulate "your" partner. IF - and only IF - that is how "you" perceive jealousy should be used, THEN it's wise to discuss this viewpoint with a partner. (The "your" and "you" are generic, not specific.) and thats why i used the word implying. and you mentioned me personally by saying i should talk to my girlfriend. which makes me believe that even if you dont know. you imply that i might think that way. this after i said repeatedly that i didnt agree with it.
pteromom Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 But what I was asking was, do you think it can benefit a relationship to look at other people maybe once a month. Not to look at every person that pass by. My personal opinion is that It can make the other person question their own qualities and compare them to the person you look at Yes, it can make the other person jealous and insecure. So why would you WANT to make someone you supposedly care about feel that way? Love is about wanting the other person's happiness, not using the other person to make yourself feel powerful and desired.
Author chados Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 Yes, it can make the other person jealous and insecure. So why would you WANT to make someone you supposedly care about feel that way? Love is about wanting the other person's happiness, not using the other person to make yourself feel powerful and desired. yes i agree. but i think that its interesting how being jealous and insecure can make someone working harder in a relationship. which often makes the other person tired because of the insecure person accusing him or just being to clingy.
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