Is there still hope? I hate myself.

[Irishboy1995]

This week has been without a doubt the most horrible week of my life. Here's the back log :

 

Me and the most beautiful boy met 2 years ago, and quickly moved in together after 6 months, therefore living together a year and a half. It is tough considering our budget is so small, we live on top of eachother. But I'd never change it for the world. Last Halloween, he kissed another boy which was awful, but I new he was the one for me. I have never met someone I love more or think is as beautiful as him. He is my world, my best friend, my family.

 

Saying that the past 3 weeks have been rough, we camped in a festival for 7 days and argued quite a lot, and after that we worked 24/7 and continued to argue as we had no time together. Then he went back to his parents house for three days. On them 3 days I had never felt so alone. On the third night I was flirting with a guy online. I can't comprehend where my mind was at the time. I was low, and I hate myself more than anything now. The following morning I rang my beautiful boy and told him. He was devistated.

 

5 days on he still wants space so I have been sleeping on my friends couch. I haven't stopped crying, vomiting and having major panic attacks since. I have been sent home from work it's been so bad. I don't know what to do? He says he is confused. I cannot loose him, he is my everything?

 

WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS BROKEN HEART? HELP ME

[d0nnivain]

Sit down & talk.

 

Flirting on line is bad but in the grand scheme it's not cheating. Apologize profusely. Talk to him about how upset all the stress & whatever else happened at the camping thing, then his absence made you. Keep apologizing & begging forgiveness for that infraction but civilly move the conversation around to why you two are good together & whatever the root of the problem is.

 

Perhaps come up with an economic plan that gets you into a slightly bigger space so you aren't always on top of one another.